Why did he go so hard and fast during sex? It was my first time?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months. I had been a virgin by choice because of my religion and was saving myself for mairage. My boyfriend never pressured me per say but he always expressed how much he longed to do it...

A couple of days on a whim, I decided that I was ready.. he was very slow and gentle because it was hurting.. but after a while i became more comfortable... however there were these moments where he would go super fast and hard and I told him to go slower... i had to say it a couple of times and physically push him before he would get the message.

There was even a point when he pinned my arms down... and I told him to stop for a second and he said "no not until I make u come"... i waited a couple of seconds and then pushed him off..

He kept asking if i was okay though and I said yeah i was fine...
Do you think its because he was just over excited? I just wish he would have been gentler since it was my first time

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It sounds like he doesn't understand how sex works, nor boundaries. He can't make you come just by being more aggressive, especially if it's hurting. It sometimes works that way for a guy, though not always (I'm assuming he masturbates) but girls are very different. Some girls like to be 'manhandled' as it were (my ex-girlfriend was like that) but if it's your first time, he needs to be gentle, and put your needs first, until you know yourself what you're into. If you are on top (cowgirl or reverse cowgirl) then you have more control, you just have to work more. He maybe needs someone to educate him on such things, but unfortunately you can't be that person. Being overexcited is not a viable excuse here, because subconsciously he was putting his own desires before yours, and should have seen the signs, even during arousal.

Dargil · Accepted Answer

"Do you think its because he was just over excited?" Yes, I do. You said "he was very slow and gentle because it was hurting.. but after a while i became more comfortable... " His going slow and easy was self-imposed "edging" and he likely built up tremendous sexual tension. It takes maturity and self discipline to resist that overwhelming need to CUM RIGHT NOW. He was not being inconsiderate. He tried his best but his libido overruled him. The closest thing to that overwhelming need to cum is fear in combat making you want to get up run even though you know you will be in the line of fire. Powerful emotions. Forgive him. Let your second time be the good one.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think he isn’t particularly experienced and yeah got over excited...

cavmanier · Answer

My first reaction is that he was really into it (ya know). By what you said though, maybe he thought going fast would help you orgasm, and he wanted to impress you.

blkgold33 · Answer

Yeah he probably was just excited waiting for 10 months is a long time. at least he stop when you wanted him.

theventrsomeone · Answer

He wanted to make you cumm to give you pleasure and didn't understand you needed some time to get used to it all before you could. Talk to him and make sure for yourself that her gets it before you have sex again. Did he ask about when it can happen again

jrallen175 · Answer

He doesn't have any experience and got over excited. Talk to him about what he did right and where he went wrong. Ask what he thought of your performance. Then, if you want to try again, you can take each other's notes and improve.

BeWithMe · Answer

He doesn't respect you. Find someone that does

madridjennifer · Answer

He be watching too much porn

najekim · Answer

Over eager. Also he's thinking wrong that super fast always makes a woman have an orgasm. Now it's time for each of you to teach each other how you like it.

masterkamasutra · Answer

he was wildly eager.

farover · Answer

I agree with what others have said, (I don't know if it's his first time) but I'm assuming he watched porn and thought "so when the guy goes fast that makes the girls excited and cum quicker" which also as others said can be completely wrong and a turn off like in your situation. It really is a shame that there is no sex education that teaches the proper way to do things and to not be afraid to just ask what he or she may like before ever interacting with another partner. Also I'm glad he did stop but I know in the heat of the moment guys can become a bit stubborn (I'm not sure that's the right word choice) during sex and just want to keep going