Why do many guys think they are entitled to effortless sex from women?

I notice on here that many guys will act quickly to call a woman “prostitute” or “golddigger” simply because she wants to be courted, taken out to fancy dinners, before having sex.

Obviously there are women who hook up even with men who disrespect them and hit them. So saying that there are women who have sex without expecting anything in return isn’t a valid argument.

To me, a man who chooses the “freeway” shows that he doesn’t value me enough to care to impress me. That in itself is a turnoff whether I am looking for something serious or not.

Again, Why is it wrong for women to expect to be treated generously before hooking up, but not for men to expect sex for nothing?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you have a good understanding of the power women possess.

    But you must understand how vigilant a man is to the type of men women go for.

    If a man trys to act nice and respectful and do all these dates and stuff. And try court a women and it constantly leads to nothing (we've all been there brothers).

    While the fuck boys in the night clubs and the buff guys in the gym get chicks for being pricks. And being absolutely nothing. Dudes notice this and it has some sort effect on them.

    The man will notice this pattern and will eventually not see the point of courting a women because they throw themselves to other guys so easily for not courting. Guys will do what's effective and what works. Also it depends on what the guy wants.
    Why court constantly if there's no point? Just another investment (financially and emotionally) down the toilet.

    The sense of entitlement can come also low key from jealousy and frustration. By seeing thre fuckboys and buff guys in the gym get chicks so easily. While you put in so much effort can get to persons head.

    That's just what I think.

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    • No one is entitled to anything. Feeling entitled is a whole different story. Women who go on a date knowing that it isn't going to lead anywhere before it started are definitely deceiving, gold diggers. Unfortunately, there are chicks like that in this world. However, not all girls are like that. You should be able to tell what type of woman you're dealing with by observing her actions.

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    • Low-self esteem, because they don't jump at 55 years old man who offer payment? like you?

    • I see i guess it depends on the women in the end

Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl friend, it's all relative to expectations. I believe the word you are looking for is called "courting". Women and men both should be courted by their admirers. Set your expectations for a man to spoil you, and don't step down cause he won't. Want to be placed on a pedestal and worshipped , then so be it. Just understand that when expectations are high, expect to be disappointed many times over... but having high expectations as such will weed out the men who don't fit your criteria. Believe me, he ain't keeping you for the long haul if you're giving it up even for an expensive meal. There's gotta be more to you for him to want to spend the big bucks anyhow.

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    • I agree sister. I am glad you understand that there's no ill will in expecting to be courted.

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    • @jrallen175 courting is a guy’s job. If he wants to get the prized possession, he needs to work for it.

    • That's bullshit. Women are not possessions and of a girl wants a guy she should do done courting too.

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What Guys Said 184

  • The feminist movement is a direct cause of less romance. I'm a old school person, French, love being romantic, charming and everything. But really is, it's not like that anymore, women are different. Man had to treat them like princess because ladies didn't had much, they couldn't work, they had no job and they also shouldn't give themself easily ( parent consent, wait for marriage etc ). In that context, it made sense.. the lady was dating only you and you could start spoiling her and impress her cuz its was already serious on a way.
    Now man makes equal money with ladies who have their own career. They have sex with who ever and date multiple people. You want to spend money on someone you will be with, not just on a random girl that you will probably never see again.
    In our modern society, we get to know the people first, then surprise, I spoil you.
    If the man turned out to not be that of a match you can leave him, in the past you couldn't.
    I wish I could still open doors and be very nice, offer fancy dinner etc... The reality is men do not get respected for that anymore. It's something from the past.

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    • Yes, I can believe, that in your neck of the woods, everything you say is true. However, I have a different experience.

      I was raised in the Southern United States, five generation Navy and Marine Corp career family with an extended family or "clan" of around 300 people.

      Our men treat us as royalty. The full gentlemen's protocol. Boys learn this from their elders and older brothers. If they don't get it right they are taught manners with sufficient persuasion on the randori mat or ring.

      Result? Men and boys are no less masculine for being chivalrous. Women no less feminine for their strength, independence, and intelligence.

      Sir, feel free to open my door.

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    • Because the guy feels like paying for sex, when having money or but should but matter. When a guy meet a girl he wants to have sex with her to create this special connection because you ladies go a lot by your feelings and sex brings a lot of them. Anyway, so using money to have a chance to create that connection sound a lot like paying for sex in a guy mind.

    • But, it really isn't because money isn't the only thing we're after. I'm sure that other women have different objectives, but not every girl is after money. I actually want a genuine connection with someone, but only with someone who is worth my time and who will treat me like I want to be treated. Why is that so hard to understand?

  • prostitutes exchange sex for money. If gifts and fancy dinners cost money, does that not make women who exchange “gifts and fancy dinners” for sex prostitution? Why does a guy have to spend money? Why not just spend time? Is a man’s time not valuable?

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    • And a woman’s time isn’t valuable?
      What about all the money she spends on hair, make up, waxing, etc?

      What makes a woman a prostitute is having sex with a guy solely for the gifts and fancy dinners. A woman who wants to have sex solely to have fun, but wants to be treated with generosity, is NOT a prostitute.

      It’s a lot easier for a woman to find sex than it is for a guy. So it’s not like he’s giving her anything that special like she is for him.

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    • @Moldovan0731 Lazy, entitled men use gasoline regardless too.

    • What does that even mean?

  • Why must I court a woman? Maybe she should be the one to work hard to earn my dick.

    It's a turnoff to me, when a woman has the attitude of "okay, lets see how far he's willing to go to earn the vagina," instead of "I really like spending time with this guy and I'm physically attracted to him. Hopefully we have sex once we feel ready."

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    • Sex is a lot easier for women to find than it is for men. Women are the gatekeepers of sex; men are the gatekeepers of relationships. For that reason, sex isn't something women go above and beyond to get. In fact, some women go above and beyond to get a guy to commit to them.

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    • @Celtero She show in immediate interest in 55 years old man only because he said that he would pay, she it most definitely an golddigger, now there is no any doubt lest.

  • "Again, Why is it wrong for women to expect to be treated generously before hooking up, but not for men to expect sex for nothing?"

    Because you are treating sex as something you give to a man. Like it's some sort of a reward only you can offer when it should be mutual. Imagine if a guy acted like towards to you. "I'm not gonna give you dick unless you take me on a fancy dinner" It's ridiculous.

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    • That's because it is. You do realize how hard it is for men to find sex than it is for women, right? Sex is part of the leverage we have as women. The courting is part of the competition with other men for her, as he is signaling that he is worth being with and, including, having sex with.

      Why should we settle for men who think they're entitled to it when there are plenty of dudes who will put in the effort to get it?

    • No it isn't, are you stupid?

      The world is becoming more equal every single day, including relationships and courting. And getting sex isn't nearly as hard for men as you seem to think it is as long as they're at least relatively good looking and have some "game".

      You don't have to settle for anyone at all, but similarly don't expect men to settle for you either when you're basically just as entitled as the guys you whine about.

      If you think it's a guys job to impress you and throw money at you, that's fine. But more and more guys want a relationship where you both impress each other and it's not as one sided.

  • Why do many women think they are entitled to be "courted" first before sex? We don't have to. I certainly don't. But we can always make an agreement according tot he 90-10 theory.

    You want your courting, i want my sex. we shake on it.. we do it.

    by the way... no man expects sex for nothing, and i believe i speak for all men here when i say that we are giving, from the moment we approach, to the moment we die because we have had enough of you.

    Its because you women don't give jack shit but what you want to... thats why you don't see it. You think it doesn't take time and effort to plan the "courting" you want? and maybe money? when we could use that money on a video game, and some shoes, and take the time and effort to play it or try em on. And you think its all nothing? You try having sex in exchange for courting then... how bout that.

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    • I literally opened this topic only to see if you left a comment here.

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    • My apologies. I misunderstood your opinion to be that women don't put effort on their part.

    • Do they?
      The way i see it, they have a choice... its the impresSor (the male) that doesn't have any. and im revolutionizing that. because guys spend time too even before the female knows she's the target.
      if you mean effort like she picks a good dress, pulls out her best make up... etc.. that ain't SHIT compared to what guys do. and that is why guys like me... we don't care anymore.

      Do you want me to tell you stories of how many girls that i went to bed with and they looked like Cinderella... and i woke up to them looking like an Ogre cuz the makeup wore off?
      my theory is.. let your partner see you at your worst... and if s/he loves you like that, when you apply the extra shit, just makes your love hotter. because it means they accept YOU.. not what YOU look Like.

  • Being "courted" is different then demanding "fancy dinners" and being "treated generously" or "playing hard to get". If she wants to be courted, awesome. I am a gentleman and frankly, at my age, Sex is about 3rd or 4th on the list and not overly important. If she is playing "hard to get", that is just bullshit games that I refuse to play. If she needs "fancy dinners or needs to be treated "GENEROUSLY" then she is a gold-digging whore and needs to go fuck herself.

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    • Well, you can't blame women for wanting to be taken to a fancy restaurant instead of a McDonald's. Especially if there are millions of guys who would treat her a lot better. There are plenty of women who wouldn't care, but those with high standards do. And there's nothing wrong with wanting someone who can give you the lifestyle you want to have.

    • Then she can go looking the 'millions' of guys who are willing to pay for her pussy.

  • Some people don't understand courtship, and some people are bitter because of bad experiences. I don't waste time thinking about them because I am too busy having good times and enjoying life.

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    • Why do some guys have the audacity to call women who want to be courted "prostitutes" or "golddiggers" if they want to be taken out to fancy dinners and dates?

    • That is God's way of telling you who to avoid dating.

  • I'm not going to spend money on a date, well, anymore than my date will. You're not special because you're a woman, having a vagina doesn't mean you get to sit back and let the man do all the real work.

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    • The same thing could be said about men. Men don't get a free pass because they have dicks nor are they any special than women are. Wtf? If they want something, they need to earn it. Women want courtship, men want sex. You don't get it for nothing.

    • Women want many things, but in your case it's payment more then anything else.

    • Women want sex too, don't be coy.

      And by "courtship" I hope you mean simply spending time together with a man rather than just getting a free meal. I like dates that only cost me my time.

      If I wanted to exchange wealth for sex then I would visit a prostitute. Unlike paid dates, a prostitute will actually hold up her end of the bargain.

  • First of all, The opinion i'm gonna give is not precisely mine. It is a reflexive one.
    I'm a gentleman, but not one of those you imagine.

    First, women want sex equality AND gentlemen? nonsense. Sex equality is the END of gentlemen. In sex equality, consider you are socially equal to men, in seduction too, then. Those women want too much, i think.

    Then, some (in there) consider that " a pussy must be earned with a long seductive period". And thy think they are gentlemen? Your are just saying 'I got for hunting pussies, and sex is my trophy". Classy! I desagree.

    Some (in there again), consider that a women respect herself only IF she makes it hard to get in her pants, and the other (the "easy ones", brrrrr) are just sluts. What kind of prehistoric judgment it is? If find very rude and vulgar. You are nobody to teach a women (or a men) if she respect herself or not. Begin with respecting others, and then look if they respect theirselves.
    Women that respect therselves KNOWS what they want, and what they need, better that anybody else. Let them in peace. If she want sex on the first date, it is her pleasure, not yours. Respecting yourself isn't about respecting social beliefs (unfounded, in addition). Believe what you want, it is ok, but don't judge anybody.

    "So saying that there are women who have sex without expecting anything in return isn’t a valid argument"
    I disagree. It is completely valid. Yes some women bow before the desire of men that don't respect her. But don't say that as they were the only ones that have sex on the first date. It is a false short cut i think.
    Many girls love sex, and don't want to wait any longer, just because they desire a man.
    And some men bow before the sexless relation their partner force them to have. the woman is disrespectful then. And some women bow before the sexless relation their parner forces them to have... The man is disrespectful. Don't just watch at that situations you prefer. Look at all of them. Things are more complex and interesting...

    I would say to answer : It's ok for me, that some women want to be seduced before sex. But it has not to be a social rule. Only a matter of personnal taste. I don't fly away before them. As much as it is okay for women that want to have sex on the first date.

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    • But, we are talking about men+women. And THAT is the problem... What about women+women? If lesbian have sex on the first date (and I know some that do), who is disrespectful of the other? Woman or woman? Nobody. It is NOT a matter of men and women, but knowing what you want, and trying to reach it.

  • Because many girls believe that their pussy is impressing enough that they don't have to put any effort twards the dating beforehand.

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    • So much truth to this statement. If I'm putting effort in I expect the same amount back... Or at least any effort...

    • I don't agree that women should believe their vagina is impressing enough, however men shouldn't believe that their dicks are impressing enough either. It goes both ways. However, courtship is a man's thing given that he's the one competing with other guys for her given that guys are thristy for sex. It's the leverage we as women have.

    • I agree, that is the leverage... Yet, men need to do a level of chasing, but it comes a point to where if it's to the point of a game... Which it reaches that level pretty quick with a lot of women I know, it's not worth it. I've dropped pursuing women because they thought that me trying to out do another guy would get them what they want. If she is showing genuine interest, we can move forward, if not... I've learned that I am better off making myself successful and women will come back too me crying.. (literally had girls come back begging to go on dates..) I don't waste much time trying to chase because it's pointless!

  • There isn’t anything wrong with wanting the feel loved through actions but you have to make sure you don’t offer sex as a reward only, that’s already a red flag that means you don’t actually find him attractive and are only using him for your benefits.

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    • Of course not. I would never have sex solely to extract money from a guy. I just want to be shown appreciation.

  • If you give guy sex because he offered you food, you are using it as commercial good, trading sex for food, market value being price of food.

    I believe sex is sharing, so both gives other enjoyment, market value would be 0. And if guy offers food on dates, buys drinks, guy will do much more work for same price. Girls should do some of the work too, I won't date anyone who uses me as a bank account.

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    • WAnting to exchange sexual favors solely for goods is what makes you a prostitute. Wanting to have sex solely to have fun, but desiring to be courted is not prostitution. It’s called having high standards and wanting to be appreciated.
      No one should ever get something for nothing. I would say the same thing to a guy who was asking why women want to be courted without giving anything in return. I say this because it’s a lot easier for women to find sex than it is for a guy. Therefore, sex is much more valuable to men than it is for women. Women are the gatekeepers of sex; men are the gatekeepers of relationships. You don’t see many male escorts out there, do you?

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    • I agree that attractive people can have low standards. There are many hot girls who are willing to hump a homeless, dirty guy, but what does that tell you about her mentality? I don't about you, but I would be turned off by a crazy guy regardless of how hot he is. It's more than just physical appearance to me. But, then again, that's just me. There are girls who only care about a guy's penis size.

    • It is not low standards, it's just different standards. What is low for you could be high standard for others.

      Homeless drug addict can be cured, but can "high maintenance" attitude be cured? And ONS might not matter at all, because for some, it is just sex.

  • Because they are uneducated In the way of proper sexual attraction. Sex is more than just the act, it's mental and physical simulation that so many men don't understand. How to set the mood, setting up the right scene and atmosphere to help ease nerves and provide the right place and time. Some men don't even understand the value of even maintaining basic hygiene so that they are more appealing. It's a lack of understanding and knowledge that's why they feel rejected and call names

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  • For a female you have a great insight as to what all females should do you're right to ask to be romanced I don't know about the fancy dinners though some men can't afford that to them I say you just have to be creative cook dinner at home candle light soft music and never should a guy expect sex for free if they can't afford you then they have to let someone who can lucky duck

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    • I completely agree. I just don’t get why people assume that wanting to be appreciated equates to being a golddigger. Wtf?

    • I like how 50+ men agreeing with you, you might find an sugar daddy here.

  • "To me, a man who chooses the “freeway” shows that he doesn’t value me enough to care to impress me"

    Correct. When you first meet. No matter how well you hit it off. He doesn't really no you. So unless you show him something amazing early on. Should he hold you in high value over other women? Even then in my opinion, using money to impress a girl is shallow. Not saying you're shallow, but the premise. Like flashing the fancy watch, having a lambo out front, gloating about a yiat. Saying he'll take you to all these fancy places. That doesn't mean he values you. That simply means this is the only way he knows to get by.

    Most girls (who are not gold diggers) in my experience really don't care about you paying or spending money on them. They just want you, your time, attention and the good feelings you give them when you're around. When a guy drops tons of money on a girl who isn't his girlfriend. The vaaaast majority of the time he is just trying to buy her love and I'm confident if you cross a guy like that it will turn you off, even tho you say now these tangible things are what make you feel he cares.

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    • I'm not saying that flaunting money to a girl should be enough to impress a girl and show that he values her, but it should be a part of the package. Golddiggers only have sex JUST for the money. Big difference between a golddigger and a girl who wants a comfortable lifestyle.

      That being said, the primary objective of sex is to have fun. However, women with self-respect aren't going to share that experience with just anyone who crosses her path knowing that she has plenty of options. Especially if she's hot. If there are guys who are willing to put in the effort to be with her, why should she settle for a guy who thinks he's entitled to it and won't do anything for her? This is a real life economic problem. Why settle for something you don't want when plenty of men can give you what you want?

      And my question to entitled men who think that women should given them sex without expecting effort is "What makes you so special that she should settle for you?"

    • When a girl impressed only by money, she is no different then a gold digger.

    • @Berethor Golddiggers are impressed by money ALONE. Freeloader.

  • I think of it as a marketplace. There are different segments to the market, i. e., people with different expectations.

    I don't find that desire on the part of women unreasonable, and I think it is a function of the leverage they hold, knowing that men want to have sex. The courting is part of the competition with other men for her, as he is signaling that he is worth being with and, including, having sex with.

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    • Couldn't have said it better! You are indeed very smart. I wish more people had the same mentality you have. I commend you for it.

  • Well, why do women think they are entitled to effortless sex from men?
    Time to let go of the men want it more, lets make them pay for it attitudes.
    Equalities mean it's a two way street, the same but different.
    If you want to put up a toll booth on your side of the road, expect an equal and opposite reaction, and vice versa.

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    • Beautiful.

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    • I don’t. If I’m giving sex, I’m giving him something that is hard for him to obtain in the first place. Let’s be realistic. A woman can easily get laid anywhere she goes. Especially a hot woman. Guys, not so much regardless of how hot they are.

    • "Let’s be realistic. A woman can easily get laid anywhere she goes. Especially a hot woman."
      So you agree, I'd think that is the closest thing to effortless sex?

  • If he needs to do anything where he has to spend money on her for her to be interested, then she is a whore. If a woman is only interested in someone if they are spending money on her, then she is the definition of a whore.
    And people that do hook ups are immoral.

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    • Yeah this chick is literally a prostitute.

    • People who downvoted this, tell me how she isn't a whore.

    • Yeah, because everything should be given to you for free and effortlessly right? And what makes you think you're so special that we should be interested in you and not real men who are genuinley interested and do put in the effort to be with us. I guess we should aspire to date a homeless broke guy who won't spend money on us, otherwise, we're all whores who only care about a man's money, right? Fucking moron.

  • It's not entitlement. I only put someone on a pedestal if we've been together for a while. If not, you're just another human being to me, so why should I court you just for sex? Seems like a waste of time. You can't be treated like a girlfriend in exchange for sex, it doesn't work like that for some guys, especially me.

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    • Okay. I see your point. There's nothing wrong with having your own rules in regards to courtship and wanting to be in a relationship first. My issue is with guys who want girlfriend benefits without giving her boyfriend benefits. If a guy doesn't have courtship standards like you do, he should court a woman if he expects anything sexual from her.

    • They give her boyfriend benefits, but those who not include payment for sex.

    • Most guys don't care for girlfriend benefits like cuddling and holding hands. They just want sex, which isn't a large part of being a girlfriend and shouldn't be.

  • Because many men feel "if I'm a good man, women should reward me".

    Also, we look down badly on women who have sex with men who have bad character traits or don't have much going for them; to a man's perspective, that is seen as "rewarding bad behavior"

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    • I agree. I just don't see why these guys are entitled enough to say that expecting good-quality courtship is prostitution.

  • Sex should be a mutually agreed upon and pleasurable experience for both of you. Why should we have to add value to ourselves by taking you out both of us get to enjoy sex together? Maybe take him out to dinner for once. I don't expect sex for nothing, I expect both of us to want it, with each other. And Im worth it without adding something like money or jewelry to my worth as a person.

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    • Fair enough. But I think the idea is that romance is also supposed to be a mutually agreed upon and pleasurable experience for both of you.

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    • Yeah! Y'know, courting can be going out to see a movie you both like together. If you're gamers, it can be playing a game together! If you're into the idea of a romantic dinner out at a nice restaurant, it can be that! It's meant to be about bonding, not sacrifice.

    • God I wish I could find someone who is attractive and wants to play games with me! A little healthy competition is awesome for me in a relationship.

  • Why do so many women feel they are entitled to have the guy pay for them? Why is he supposed to impress you? Are you supposed to impress him?

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    • She should highly impress you if you are going to treat her to a date!

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    • @AwesomeCookie I never said that building value isn't important. Of course, I think it is. I'm just saying that guys who think they're entitled to free benefits without putting out the effort are just not worth it in my opinion.

    • "Just don't date women who has expensive tastes?" in other words don't date a golddigger.

  • If you are having sex for a meal, or any other payment, then yes by definition you are a whore. Honestly don't know why people have sex without any emotional attachment.

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    • Having sex for money is indeed being a whore. I agree. But, extracting money from a man is not my objective. I just believe that men should show effort and appreciation to a woman instead of thinking that he deserves something for nothing.

    • He is giving you his D, it's not for nothing, maybe you should pay for his D. :)

    • @Berethor His D is a dime a dozen. It's a lot harder for him to get access to sex than it is for women. That's the leverage women have. Plus women want to be courted. It's evolutionary biology ;)

  • Most men don't want to date prostitutes and the ones who do, enjoy whores, would rather just pay to play without all the bullshit.

    But.. there is a market for your kind of whore, I think they generally call them selves "sugar babies" or something like that.

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    • It's funny how you equate expecting effort to prostitution #Entitlement

      The primary objective of sex is to have fun. However, women with self-respect aren't going to share that experience with just anyone who crosses her path knowing that she has plenty of options. Especially if she's hot. If there are guys who are real chivalrous men willing to put in the effort to be with her, why should she settle for a guy who thinks he's entitled to it and won't do anything for her? This is a real life economic problem. Why settle for something you don't want when you have plenty of options that can give you what you're looking for?

      And my question to entitled, pieces of shit men like you who think that women should given them sex without expecting effort is "What makes you so special that she should settle for you?"

    • He don't need to pay to get a woman, sounds like more of a achievement to me.



  • I would justify your argument this way--a woman has to spend money getting made up, having her hair done, nails done, etc. for the hookup so the guy getting to show up casually and just hit it isn't really fair.

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    • That's your choice for throwing away your money on fakeness. Not anyone else's. Both should do the work if they care. Both should pay for their own. You are on a date trying to figure if you are a match..

    • @Paul09 yes, but don't you expect the woman to look nice?

    • Thank you!!! You have common sense

  • Who ever said it was wrong for you not to expect to be respected, and treated well?
    If a woman posts, here, complaining that guys just 'used' her, I am not just assuming the guys were punks, but maybe she was too willing, and didn't consider that he might be a d-bag user!!
    Women have a responsibility to themselves, their bodies, and it is just CRAP, if she hooks up with someone that is a user, a loser, and then complains, later, because she just chose a bad guy because she was drunk, or just made a bad choice!!
    I don't think that most guys assume that they are 'entitled' to sex, and now, more than ever, I think many of us are afraid to connect, with the 'MeToo' thing, and the 'harassment' things, in the news!!
    Who needs that?
    I think all those things, now, make most guys want to just watch porn, and not even take a chance of being charged with something!!
    Once you get charged, as a guy, it follows you FOREVER, and destroys your life, even when you didn't do it!!!

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    • Do you believe in courtship?

  • why is it wrong of guys to expect sex for "nothing",
    but okay of a girl to expect a fancy dinner for nothing?

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    • I don't agree with the latter. Girls who expect fancy dinners and know that they will not see the guy ever again before the date even started are deceiving, gold diggers. But, in the end, if they both know they're going to get laid, there's no reason for guys to expect something for nothing.

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    • @Markfish I guess my house and my care should be given to you for free otherwise I'm a greedy, selfish woman, right? lmao. Nothing is free in this world. You have to work for what you want, especially if it's valuable. It's called self-respect.

    • @Markfish You're a freeloader for expecting sex effortlessly. #Entitled

  • It's unfortunate you've ended your question with sex for nothing.
    It should be for nothing. It should be because you want too and not because you got dinner or a movie or your rent paid.

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    • Thank you

    • No, it shouldn't. Sex should be earned. It's wrong to assume that you can just walk up to a woman for sex and expect her to give it to you without you showing effort on your part. Especially if she spend $$$ on nails, hair, make up, clothes, grooming etc.

      It's no different than expecting a man to spend money on you for nothing. You have to earn it. Would you agree that if I asked you for $100 you should give it to me? I don't think so. it's no different.

    • No one asked her to spend money on nails, hair, make up, clothes, it's was her call.

  • I don´t know and i never felt that way , maybe some think that because they are rich or got a six pack they should be worshiped like gods and have everything they desire given to them.

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    • Thank you for having common sense. I love how guys assume that expecting courtship equates to prostitution. That's the pure defintion of entitlement.

  • Oh so you have to be courted and taken out for "fancy" dinners?
    Why? Do you have a diamond encrusted vagina or something?

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    • So you have to be "given" sex for free? Do you have a gold plated dick as well? Why should I when there are millions of men who are willing to court a woman.

    • Because sex is arbitrary. It's not a big thing that needs courting. Courting is just for relationships.

    • Okay, if you don't want to have sex with a woman you don't want to be in a relationship with, then I respect that and I don't think you're wrong in doing so. I have a problem with guys who think that they have a right to walk up to a girl and ask her for sex without showing her why he is worth her time and why she should choose him over other men.

  • Show more from Guys
    154

What Girls Said 32

  • Sex for nothing? There is only one thing that men OR women should be 'getting' from sex: pleasure. And if it's not as pleasurable for you as it is for him, try something new. So he isn't benefiting from sex any more than you are. You're BOTH getting lucky. Equally lucky.

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    • Straight to the point. Well put

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    • If a man wants that pleasure, he needs to work for it. Otherwise, he thinks he’s entitled to it. Of course, I et pleasure out of sex. However, I know what my worth is and I’m not going to give it up to any random guy knowing how hard it is for many guys to find it :)

    • You decided to focus only on that part, but completely dismissed the "courting" part. Why is it okay for men to expect free, effortless sex and not for the woman to expect courtship and effort from the guy? Give me one good reason why I should give it up to any man who walks up to me and says, "let's fuck". Come on, I'll wait.

  • Ver well said. We live in a world where some woman pretend to know it better then other woman so man will only look at them and they have all the benefits. I did a test but man really do not mind see a woman alone or suffering or prepare her own roof at all.
    Man brag about all they have even a woman has nothing.
    Man are selfish and only want benefits and to have it easy with woman and they find plenty easy woman. So they bring water to the sea where is plenty water already and still they think they are social. They are not and never will be.
    They for sure want only benefits.
    Man want no love and hate romance and hate romantic woman and call them materialistic while they choose woman from the left wing also.
    So man are boring. They have political relationsships and need propaganda and join a secret society and think they are special while they are not and never will be and they destroyed all countries but claim they made the countries and deserve credit so it is a political issue for all people who talk that way and they like political benefits while the government ignores who needs help the most and even bully and mock and discriminate those people who stand no chance in society ever. so government is all about money and benefits not for the good of all human beings at all and it is one market business and they are sadists and have joy in hurting peoples feelings and bully them and higher people to do that and those people who they attack this way do not imagine this but to whom do they go and talk about it in our society where is no place for them to go. So in a way the government secret like to get rid of those people and where must they go , they are for sure not welcome and nobody was happy when they were born at all.
    Benefits always go to the same people.
    They have the warrenty over all people to say their opinion and yours is never heard. The unmarried people are vulnarable. So those who marry do that for power to look good and get credit. But that by itself is prove they are not good at all because otherwise we would not live in devision and seperation where some get help and others by the same get attacked what is not sociay to do at all. It is almost if the commercial says to marry a criminal is the best because they do unjust to many people and get a high status in society with the votes of all criminals. Perhaps the land is called criminal country in reality. With a criminal flag and a criminal hymn. It is time we look it up just in case you nev

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    • You never know.

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    • "Entitled men", said the woman who think that men should pay for her fancy dinners. :)

    • So you are basically a huge hypocrite. You tell people to not do things, yet you are doing it yourself? If you are sour like this, life is gonna suck for you.

  • This isn’t girls versus guys.
    Girls read too much into things and guys don’t read enough into it.
    Ultimately, there are going to be personalities where some people expect certain things on both sides. The part where most are having an issue is communicating that we are all struggling with basically the same shit just opposite genders.

    People who want sex will want sex, people who want to spoil will spoil, people who are materialistic will be materialistic..

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    • Well said 🙏

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    • @Berethor Yes, some people just want what they want. There is definitely a difference between priorities and desire.

    • It's wrong to judge people just because they share a different perspective. Reasonable minds can differ. You should say the same to the people trying to discredit the asker on every single comment and calling her different names.

  • Being courted is one thing , demanding to be taken to fancy dinners is another ! The Economy sucks and a lot of Millenials are broke !

    Sex is more about doing it whenever you are comfortable doing it with a person because you love them or because you feel like doing it for fun. If you need the need to feel valued as a person that is fine but to expect fancy things before putting out Is not , men have feelings too. Sex shouldn’t be treated as something that is bought.

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    • Well said

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    • I’ve never done McDonald’s as a first date. I usually do bars or coffee. Right now I don’t want to get Married so the standards for a bf/gf are lower than for husband or wife atm. For marriage I want a good credit score and a decent career and demand they be my equal.

    • I also want a woman who could be my equal career wise and financially, but why is sex considered a favor from the woman too the man, why do I have to prove my worth too you by paying for expensive dinners and dates and gifts, why don't you buy me dinner, why don't we treat each other as equals and split the check, how about you buy me a nice watch and and I'll get you a beautiful necklace and afterwords we have sex because we love each other and both want it not because I picked up the check at the hibachi place. That's what seems right to me.

  • What about the other type of woman who doesn't need lots of money spent on her or lavished with gifts before sleeping with him but actually just says no, im not ready yet and waits until she feels comfortable with him before having sex?

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    • I respect and admire that. Sex shouldn't happen until both parties are ready. I just usually make up my mind before the woman.

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    • Well asker, men see women as too easy depending on how many men she had, it have much to do with how much payment she taken for it. Also when a man paying, a woman can feel obliged, and rightfully so, otherwise the man had paid for nothing.

    • I mean it didn't have much to do with how much payment she taken for it.

  • I don’t know why if you both want srx why he is supposed to impress you for both of you to have to sex. YOU want sex don’t you? If you don’t want sex don’t hve it but if you do then you are getting what you want so why are you supposed to get dinner out if it?

    When you add treats into the mix it’s like he’s bribing srx out if you... You either want sex or you don’t.

    This is part of the idea women put out for a price... you’re not putting out or giving it up or giving in... you either want srx or you don’t. You’re not needing him to prove your value to yourself do you can have sex. You want it or you don’t.

    Women who “give it up for free” probably actually want sex and are not using it to make themselves feel valued.

    Are you having sex bc you want sex or are you bartering your body for other goods?

    Or are you talking about dating? Bc you only mentioned sex it sounded like hooking up after dinner.

    If it’s datujg well doesn’t it go both ways?

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    • Yes, a woman who gets it! Thank you! Are there any more women like you?

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    • It’s called having high standards girl. I know my self-worth and I’m not going to make it easy for a guy to get something valuable from me. It’s that simple.

    • Sex isn't really that valuable if you take into account that the supply and demand is quite even.

  • Lol. Love the guys answering 'women are just gold diggers'. Or, 'feminism'.
    My dear men.
    What exactly are you saying? That sex is the only thing a woman has to offer? Or maybe, the only thing that you care about, when you're with a woman?
    I see how the asker's question might have sound wrong, mostly 'taken to fancy dinners' part, but I think she's got the point. Most of you decided to focus only on that part, but completely dismissed the 'courting' part.
    If you want sex, make her want sex. What is wrong with dedicating your time to someone, meeting a person, before you ask for sex.
    No, she does not owe you sex if you take her out for a dinner. If you want to pay for sex, hire a hooker and call the situation by its real name. That's not what dating is.
    'I paid for dinner so it means we'll have sex' translates to 'I didn't invite you for dinner because I like talking to you or because I like your company, but only because I want to fuck you.'
    Hell yeah, if he wants sex, he has to impress me.

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    • By the same token, if she wants to be with me, she can buy me gifts and pay my way for a night out or ten. You think dating is only about men impressing women? Haha!
      Impress me! Show me ANYTHING that every other gold-digging whore hasn't already offered. You really think you're special? Give me one example of something wholly unique and entirely extraordinary that you've done for a man, that no other woman has ever done before you.

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    • Meh, although I say that, women don't really have to impress a man. She just musn't have this mindset where I have to earn her and pay for things, that's enough.

    • People who have higher standards will be l respected. Guys who think they’re entitled to women can go find another chump girl with low self esteem who will give it up without expecting effort on his part. I’m sorry but, it’s not my fault for having higher standards. This is exactly why many men don’t respect women.

  • I never needed to be taken out to fancy dinners.
    A person's time is of more value to me.

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    • Are most Aussie women like this? If yes, I wanna move there 😊

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    • That's the thing. People have different lifestyle preferences. I'll admit that I have high standards and expensive tastes. For that reason, I prefer someone who is on the same level as me. Not that there's anything wrong with not expecting fancy dinners or even a date, but some people just prefer a different style of living.

      It just pisses me off that some guys have the audacity to say that women shouldn't expect to be courted in the first place regardless of how costly the dates might be. They think that women should just give it up for free otherwise they're "prostitutes" or "golddiggers". To them, expecting to be courted is equivalent to selling sex. Yet, they slut shame and degrade women who give it up too easily. Do you see the problem here?

    • And my opinion is that dates don’t have to be exspensive.
      We have a difference of opinion that’s all.

  • The guys on here are idiots who are bitter because women won't have sex with them. They do not care about the women's point of view and only care about their own dicks. Their views do not reflect men in the real world.

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    • So we don't care that we have a higher chance of getting rapped oh a higher chance that we will be abused by are lovers or a higher chance of suicidal thoughts think about what your saying and yes I am a 14 year old virgin what's wrong with that you probably gave your mouth to more guys then I even dated a girl (0 times) so can you fuck off and stop telling half of the people on this app that there stupid that's sexist

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    • @imaguy0092 You have for an 14 year old a filthy big mouth. How did you get that one. You sound mature if you have a lot experience you do not tell here by the way. How is that possible. And then so angry. How is that possible?

    • Of course they are. And many of them are pretending to be women using fake accounts supporting their entitlement lol

  • Its not wrong for you to want to be treated a, certain way before hooking up. Your body your rules. However, don't complain if the guy you like, would rather hook up with someone else who has "lower standards" or is just lower maintenance. That kind of girl is less likely to feel disrespected in a relationship over the small things. There will be fewer, "but you used to treat me this way" fights, and more time, appreciating each other. There are guys willing to treat you how you want, but you're going to repel many who, are just looking to have fun, and then get to know, you.

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    • That just means he isn't the guy for her. There's no reason to lower standards for a situation you don't want just to be with someone.

    • I did the whole hooking up thing and those guys did not respect my body, time or feelings. So I can see why OP would rather someone get to know her first.

  • Do they expect sex or do they just want to sext with you? Those are different pairs of shoes. I understand that you might not be comfortable sending nudes of yourself to some random guy you just met, but I'm not sure if in this day and age it is feasible to physically be taken on a date before you go any further. That's not to say you shouldn't get to know them, but the goal posts of "right time" for sex might have to be slightly shifted.

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    • Are you saying sexting is needed prior to meeting in person? I am very new to the online dating world but that seems ridiculous

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    • I’m just saying that guys shouldn’t feel entitled to have sex or even receive nudes from women without putting effort to get them in the first place. Those things shouldn’t be “givens”. That’s what makes men disrespect women and perceive them as worthless because they’ll think that women are “too easy”.

    • By the logic a women who charge men for every sexual act is the most respected. :)

  • What do people mean with “sex for something in return” though? I’m not giving sex for something, I have sex when I want to with who I want to, because I want to?

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    • Except us women have needs to; I respect myself enough to have sex when I want. It’s kind of low of you to think that less of men; like all they want is sex and nothing more. Dating is not a market, you don’t put yourself up and say “I’ll give you sex if you give me this”. And if it’s a market it’s a mutual one. Reading this, it feels like you’re grown up in those parts of the us where you’re all still about 100 years behind everyone else.

      It’s really sad that you think of sex as a “priced possession”, something you’re giving up. I feel like you’re one of those women who will end up using sex as a weapon as they get married.

    • Honey, I'm not attacking you, but the reality is that in life, dating is a transaction. I'm not going to put in the effort to make someone happy if they're not putting in the effort to make me happy. It goes both ways. I don't want to say that every guy is looking for sex and nothing more, but a lot of guys do. Thank God that not every guy is. I would never use sex as a weapon. However, if they're not going to satisfy my needs, why should I satisfy theirs? If I want to be shown appreciation, why do I have to settle for guys who don't when there are millions of guys all over the world who would? Does this make sense?

  • They dont care about that specific girl except sex.
    Whats funni is that while they use her, they are taking the girl they really wany out on dates until they are official and other girl is dropped.

    Men invest into what worthwhile to them.

    If he dont date you, to him, you're just a poor investment.

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    • Sounds bad but it's true. Men only invest in who they see is worth investing in

  • Hmmm I don't hook up, so, I can't speak on that.
    But as a woman in a relationship, I think I don't understand how guys think just because they're hard that means I'm turned on.
    It's much better when the time is taken to get a person really turned on.
    If I'm already in the mood, no biggie, things can go faster.
    But I don't understand how some guys think I'm ready for sex when 5 minutes ago it was the last thing on my mind.

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    • I believe this boils down to biology. The male brain is developed to allow for sex whenever the female is ovulating. Males tend to be turned on easier, which is also why their bodies have to produce so much semen all the time, to be prepared for reproduction at any time a female is ready and waiting.

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    • What are you trying to say?

    • As a demisexual male, I'd like to point out that sexual attraction can be based off of much more than just physical attraction, for me physical attraction plays almost no part in it. Demisexual means I feel ne sexual attraction for anyone without first having romantic feelings about the person, it's part of the asexual spectrum.

  • I hooked up with men before and they didn't take me out or anything - and they didn't respect my time, my feelings or my body.

    Never again.

    The only way anyone is touching me ever again is if they work for it.

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    • You want sex and you want other things too😂😂

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    • @RohitLakra How is she demanding someone to put in the effort to get what he wants from her being a prostitute? If he primary objective isn't to extract money from him, but rather to have a good time and be shown appreciation, she is not a prostitute. Stop thinking you're entitled to women.

    • @Markfish Every guy took care of women 100% during the 1950's. Were all women prostitutes back then? lmao

  • I don't think that they feel entitled, but they are certainly trying their luck. You want to see how far he'll go. He wants to see how little he can go.

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    • I've never felt the need to put as little effort into anything as possible, especially not a relationship. I find your view point insulting to both genders.

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    • I agree. They trying to see if they can get the most benefits for the smallest cost possible. Sadly, the women who let these kinds of guys get away with it have very little self-worth.

    • Or they want a woman who is not with them for a payment, but for other reasons.

  • Because they feel life is easier for you naturally so you owe it to them. Many lack perspective and can't imagine someone having different priorities. They think you should want casual hookups and be grateful for them. Since they don't want someone who loves and cherishes them they can't imagine the perspective of those who do.

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    • I'd argue that most men want someone to love and cherish them. I know I do. Many men can feel embarrassed about that though, again I am guilty of this. It's common since we tend to shame boys for being emotional or sensitive. Beyond that, people of both genders seek casual relationships all the time, they've become rather common. As a result sex holds little value, and with looks falling off after 35 for most women, it seems silly to spoil some woman you barely know, if you're worth it in his eyes the he'll probably treat you well, make yourself worth tbe effort and it will happen. Also, you said guys think they're owed sex, but the girl literally said she thinks she is owed a free meal just to be given a chance at sex. It's like if the lottery gave 100 dollar max prizes instead of 1 million but kept the odds and ticket price the same. Some idiots would still hit it, some would play for fun, but most would see that it's overpriced with such low prizes that it's pointless.

    • @devilman666 hypothetical example: say 2/10 girls is promiscuous in their teen years, they get all the attention from guys who soon leave but there is always another waiting. The other 8 see this and try to find a guy but one might talk to them for a day before switching to the one that is guaranteed to put out. Some of those girls decide they'd rather put out than be ignored for ever so in their early twenties they switch to the party girl ways. The rest hold out hope that someone will like them until someone either tricks them into thinking they like them, they find a relationship, or they get a vibrator and give up. Meanwhile, they are getting older and the chance of ever getting a family diminishing, and they spent all their life waiting for something that wasn't going to happen because they were told guys don't love sluts, and all those guys keep using the slut excuse as a reason they don't want something that is theirs and theirs alone.. how does anyone get anything they want?

  • Cause SOME women prefer to be treated "generously" before a one night stand or whatever, and SOME men just prefer fuck and dump. it's not really a problem.

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  • And then they say they don't want a girl who's easy... smh

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    • They're confusing. They don't want an easy chick but want her to put out with no effort.

      They don't want a woman who is so independent they don't feel needed but get mad when women want to be taken care of.

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    • Now, would it be shallow to break up with them for not being able to provide you with the kind of relationship-lifestyle you once had together, down the road, due to financial problems that arose?
      In essence, is ending a relationship due to drastic lifestyle change wrong?

    • They don't want a girl who is easy in sense of being with a lot of guys, for payment or not.

  • Maybe that's because women themselves many times choose that types of men. I don't waste my time with men who treat me disrespectfully. After all, men should please women in every way possible.

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    • Can't we all just be nice to each other? Treat everyone with respect? Why does it have to be men need to treat women with respect, people should treat people with respect regardless of whether or not there is an opportunity to get laid at the end.

    • Yes exactly! I've mentioned men but of course everyone deserves to be treaten with respect

  • Generally people don’t like to be treated like objects, but few may either not have a problem with it or never knew it was even a problem to be objectified or to objectify others so they continue to expect it. When someone tells them it’s wrong, they get defensive. Not saying that this behavior is okay on all parts, but if people choose to live their lives this way it shouldn’t effect you. Just steer clear of men and women like this is it really bugs you. I’m currently doing the same because no one worth committing would only objectify you for their own gain.

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    • Do you think it's wrong to end a relationship with someone for not being able to provide you with the type of relationship/lifestyle you once had?

  • That is a really great question.
    This is just another reason I hate "dating".

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  • Women today dont realize just how powerful pussy is over men ESPECIALLY when its unexplored pussy. Men also won't get attatched to u as much if u give them the pussy without effort. Its easier on them emotionally, they got to explore your unexplored pussy and bust a nut. And save they. Money. Its a purely win win for men and a completely lost for women. MEN TODAY TRY TO CON WOMEN OUT OF THEY PUSSY AND a lot OF WOMEN ARE FALLING FOR IT TRYING TO GET BROWNIE POINTS, RINGS, AND PROVING THEY CAN BE THE MAN TOO. What use to be the cheapest women now look like the most expensive, escorts, and strippers. Because the average woman is now free pussy😂😂😂😂😂 its sad to see how feminist are ruining it for women.

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  • Both sides are in the wrong

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  • Are you ok?

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  • They don't

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  • Well.. call me old fashioned but if girls who hook up real fast are easy. And girls who hook up fast and their only condition is that guy spends some money on them is kind of easy girl that has sex for money however you explain that to yourself.
    Whatever happened to prove of love, to mutual deep connection etc? If your standards are only that guy spends on you (which is doable even if guy just wants sex and doesn't respect you much) then don't complain (or don't bother with) how you are perceived.

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    • I wouldn’t “hook up” with a guy who just flaunted money to me. He has to be respectful and desirable enough for me to do that to begin with. However, it really bothers me that guys think they’re entitled to women and want to get benefits from a woman while putting the minimal amount of effort possible.

  • There are other ways to show respect for a woman, and try to impress her, without money. If the guy is not rich he can get more creative with his dates and take you some places that don't cost much, but are just as fun.
    And if you refuse to go out with a great guy with amazing personality, because he can't afford to spoil you with luxuries, then you indeed are a golddigger.
    ''So saying that there are women who have sex without expecting anything in return isn’t a valid argument.'' Sex is physical expression of love between two people, not something a woman gives in order to get something from a man. When a man is having sex, he is also giving away his body for your pleasure, so why should a woman expect anything more than that? If you keep referring women giving away sex in order to get something from man in return, well that's what prostitutes are, they have sex with men for gain.

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    • Women like you give me hope after reading a question like hers 😌

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    • everything is exactly like you said look at all of your answers you dont even remember what you say. EVERYTHING CAME FROM YOU. I am quoting you on everything. nothing came from me, it came from you.
      "But I mean if I got sick and can't provide sex, he'd leave too right?'' I sad 'I' got sick, meaning 'I the woman' got sick and man would leave unable to have sex with her. can you even read?

      ''And a why is a woman obligated to take care of a man?'' wow, everything I said it's just comfirmed. when people care for eachother they TAKE CARE of eachother no matter man or woman.

      Goodbye forever. I thought I would reply to you lnext time Im online but it's useless, I will not waste another second on you. It was fun though how you got angry at the truth. I hope you find happyness. Don't bother replying I won't see it.

    • You are D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L. I never once said ANY of that. I don't even know where you got all of that from.

      It's so obvious that you did this because I got to you haha. I'm sorry baby. You just got defeated. You can't win them all.

  • If you've said "I want to go out and get to know you a bit first before hooking up, for motivation purposes, safety reasons, etc." I would give you the benefit of the doubt.
    However, if your argument is nothing but "we will be hooking up, so you need to at least court me and make me feel valued", that sounds rather naive to me. He will be hooking up with you today, another woman tomorrow and perhaps another one in the weekend. You aren't even his mistress, he doesn't have to court you, buy you flowers or anything because he already has you - for one night only. There isn't a big investment there.

    I'm sorry, I understand basic courtesy, but the situation you put yourself into is not one of being appreciated or valued.
    Under the circumstances, if it's wrong expecting sex for free, it's also wrong to expect it to not be free.
    Kindness, love, time, money, those are things many people don't even have to give, much less to a stranger.

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    • I disagree. Nothing in this world should be free. When it comes to sex, men should have to work for it. Men shouldn’t think they’re entitled to anything.

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    • Then again, I don't have a problem with women who don't want to be courted. That's your choice. I do have a problem with people who try to attack me for having traditional values and men who think they deserve to get something for nothing when there are millions of men who do show appreciation and gratuity by taking a woman out on a date before having sex.

    • @babylips14
      Hmm, just to point out my intent isn't attacking anyone with traditional values nor am I an advocate of casual sex.
      I understand quite well the wish of many women of being wooed. My point though is that the OP cannot expect to be treated in a certain way when she puts herself in certain positions with certain people.
      I'm not sure there are "millions of men who show appreciation" because, again, that's not my world, but if indeed there are it just goes to show that the OP needs to choose better and more carefully.

  • Stupid men (which is roughly 95% of the male population, no offense to you lovely boys) don’t have an idea of how much we spend on our looks.

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    • So 95% of all men are stupid that's an insult it's like saying 50% of rape charges are fake and your only sorry for pretty boys no personality you just care if there pretty that's so stupid I can't even imagine how you live your life just caring about looks me personally I don't want effortless sex the only thing I want is a person who's there for me and I'm there for her I don't care about looks just of there not a asshole like you
      (This is my first hate comment was it good?)

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    • And I find it common when I ask for proof and say fact's they call me salty of mad or a virgin (even though I'm 14) they never show me proof it's kinda annoying

    • People who want higher standards will be Moreno respected. Guys who think they’re entitled can go find another chump girl with low self esteem who will give it up without expecting effort on his part. I’m sorry but, it’s not my fault for having higher standards. This is exactly why many men don’t respect women.

      Many of these guys are quick to call us golddiggers for not making it easier for them to get away with it lol

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