Why won't my boyfriend have sex with me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months, and in bed we've done basically everything except going "all the way." Every time I ask him if he wants to get a condom out, or have sex, he often says "maybe," but then changes his mind and says "not tonight." I'm starting to feel really unattractive, and I'm scared he thinks I'm only good for blowjobs. I think I'm a pretty attractive girl, but he clearly thinks I'm unfuckable. Why would a guy not want to have sex with his girlfriend?

[Jon_25]

Could be any number of reasons. Most likely he isn't ready for sex yet. Or he doesn't think he'd be able to do well because of inexperience, or he had a bad experience before. You never know. Maybe he thinks it's just not the right time. In any case, you should talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to have sex yet, or if he doesn't feel comfortable having sex, for whatever reason, I seriously doubt it is your fault. You can talk out what is keeping him from having sex, and go from there. I doubt if it's unsolvable.

[truthbeknown]

He's probably a virgin and doesn't even know how to put a condom on and is terribly shy and embarrassed about it. Lots of reasons. He may not be ready yet, pregnancy scares, personal views or values, whatever. I highly doubt it is because he doesn't find you sexually attractive. If you are ready for sex it is best to talk about it with him during non-sexy times so he doesn't feel like he is backed into a corner.

[daydreammarie]

Is he a virgin? He could just not want to have sex, and that wouldn't have anything to you but the fact he isn't ready. I would talk with him and tell him how you are feeling about it, listen to him and come up with a solution. Over thinking won't do you any good you need to communicate with him.

[lumos]

I think the bigger question here is why you haven’t talked to him about it and asked why he doesn’t want to? Also don’t jump to conclusions and assume it’s because he doesn’t find you attractive. He’s probably just nervous or has some sort of rule.

[Malita55]

If you have done everything else then he probably thinks you’re attractive but may be really nervous for the real thing. Is he a virgin? Or are you one of the first few girls he’s been with?

[mrs-turner97]

Have you asked him does he want to wait till marriage or what you have to ask him and tell him your concerns

[madhatters4]

i think you need to ask him. he may just want to wait, he may have some performance anxiety, etc.

i think you can just bring it up..."just curious, is there a reason why we haven't had sex yet?"

[smajy]

Please just ask him, there could be a million reasons. Maybe he's just insecure or wants to make it special. Nobody knows so ask him instead of going crazy thinking about it. Please.

[Krokodyl]

Looks more like there is problem with him. Maybe he is inexperienced or is affraid of something. Maybe just nervous and has problems maintaining erection. Who knows. Talk with him about it. Probably it is not you when he is willing to do all sorts of things. I gues that if he would find you repulsive he wouldn't engage in any activity where you are naked

[markscott]

The best way to find out, is to ask him. If you know him well enough to sleep with him, and to try to have sex with him, you know him well enough to ask why he isn't having sex with you. Don't ask in an accusatory way, but in a kind, understanding way. Let him know that you are ready to have sex, but it seems that he is not ready. And ask him what he is thinking, how he feels about you both having sex together, and if he is not wanting to, please tell you why not. And work it out from there.

[Repa33]

Ask him

[EmmaMary]

Talk to him.

[kaijiang]

You are a B E A R D

[reptocarl]

Because he’s a closet queen

[madgoat]

Don't feel unattractive, it's very likely not that. Ask him about it, away from the bedroom. Maybe he's not ready.

[Dartzlink]

Maybe he's still in the closet...

[Welshman2]

He might be a closet homosexual

[CowboyKamp]

Religion? Worried he won't satisfy? In the closet? A girl I dated said one guy went limp during sex and when she confronted him he said he was gay but not out, he was a bottom and just nit into it.

[BlueTie115]

Maybe he has high moral standards? No offense to you, but why aren't you respecting his right to say no to you. Or maybe he is waiting for the right time? How about you talk to him about it?

[eaglemaddog112]

It's unlikely to be you. Talk to him and get to the bottom of it. Tell you he needs to make you understand or your gonna have to walk.

[AANikko]

If you're giving him a blowjob everytime before ya have sex I'm pretty sure he doesn't have much of a sex drive and the blowjob is enough for him.

[jacquesvol]

He might be scared : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/

[Browneye57]

It is highly likely it has nothing to do with you. There's something else going on there.

A lot of guys are afraid of the consequences, BSC girls, unwanted pregnancy, STD's, and on and on. Consider having a conversation outside the bedroom - not a confrontation, a conversation.

Also, condoms completely suck. If you're really committed to each other, consider an alternate form of birth control, then both tested for std's, then go for it bare-assed. :)

[jessture]

Lmao... a man doesn't want to have sex and you've already labeled him a defective object and warped it to be about you.

Have you ever considered asking him without pressuring him?

[RenegadeSailor]

Because he is gay trying not to be.

Sounds like a case of denial.

Straight men would be after sex all the time!

[LivinLegend]

4 months and he hasn't stuck the tip in? y'all females be fucking with some pussy bois

[NucDylan]

Something sounds weird. Have a chat with him, not during sexytime ofc