Sex on first date, opinions?

[Anonymous]

I really try not to. I don't move in for a kiss unless the guy does first. But when someone starts kissing me, I can't stop. Which is exactly why I don't move in for the kiss first normally xD

I told him flatout, I'm not looking to hookup. I don't want sex on our first date (yeah that plan went out the window, and I don't regret it). I was busy after, he had to be home because he had plans to play a game with a friend. Well I kinda forgot my plans and he took me home with him. We made plans to go for another date today, or soon if he ends up busy.

Anyways. Do you think it's possible to have a relationship after sex on the first date? I' good either way.. just curious on people's opinions lol

[nightdrot]

Yes, I did it once upon a time. However, a lot of things have to be in place before the fact.

The gal I dated I had my eye on for a while. She was cute, funny, charming. It turned out, which is why I asked her out as I knew it was a sure deal, that she liked me too.

So we started out with a sort of mutual attraction already in the mix. We worked in the same place and did not know each other well, so there was a lot we had in common but had never really talked. However, there was already a comfort level.

So when I asked her out, the stage was already set in a lot of ways. We went out to dinner and then back to her place for the proverbial nightcap. We had a night of laughter and easy talk and the chemistry was just there. So we ended up having sex that night - and in fact I stayed the night.

So there was another factor. We were with each other the next morning. The sex made us feel - or at least me - more intimate with her and so it was easy to ask her out again. She said yes and things went on from there for just over a year.

It might have even lasted beyond that except that she ended up moving back to her home state. We briefly tried long distance but it really was not great and we eventually called it off.

So, bottom line, if the preconditions are there, then there really is no reason why sex on a first date should preclude a longer term relationship. Indeed, as I said, the sex can even intensify the bond.

[MrOracle]

Though I frequently warn against doing this for girls who are looking for a relationship, it IS possible for a relationship to work out. It's just that the odds are heavily stacked against you, and you actually increase the chances of being used just for sex.

Here's why: being in a relationship means being emotionally vulnerable, and for a guy, that's something he's spent a lifetime avoiding, and not something he does easily. Most guys need some deep trust before they do so.

One of the biggest risks when becoming vulnerable is that your girl is going to cheat on you. It would be emotionally crushing, so guys judge his risk of that by looking at her behavior. Does she have self-control and does she respect boundaries - and demand that hers are respected?

If not, then any time she is with other people, he has to worry that she's going to slip. And her not following and enforcing her own first date rules is a serious cause of concern - and many guys, despite being the one who enjoyed her breaking her own rules, will immediately downgrade her status from "potential girlfriend" to "a chick I bang" - and once downgraded, it is nearly impossible regain her original status.

Not every guy always feels this way - but most do, so most of the time, if you have sex on the first date, you are working against your own interests.

[howlyz]

You are right and I would just ad that some guys are more relaxed and it is not such a big factor if they sleep with a girl on a first date

[Moonchild714]

I've had many relationships after we had sex on the first date. It all depends on the guy though some don't want a woman who puts out on the first date, that's their issue imo!!! Relationships are harder to get really going after starting with sex they often stay in the sex category but sometimes they do progress nicely.

[Anonymous]

I literally had sex on the first date with my current boyfriend and he's even the guy who took my virginity. It was great tho bc everything seems right at that moment and we just couldn't stop kissing so I just let him took it.

[Asker]

Mm that's how it was last night. Like we had just had dinner, were about to go for a movie, in the movie theater parking lot we started kissing and couldn't stop lol

[howlyz]

You GO girl, that is how you live, not calculating too much, I mean it

[truthbeknown]

Sex on the first date isn't always a sign of trouble or a lowly hook up. It can prove there is a deep connection, compatibility and incredible chemistry between two people along with a burning desire and attraction between them.

[VegetaSSB]

It is possible to have sex in the first date and still get a relationship, but majority of time men will lose interest if they get is so easily, so i would say it is best for you to make he work harder for it.

[madhatters4]

i voted A but as a personal policy i do not have sex on a first date. i don't even usually kiss on a first date. i just don't want to blur sexual desire so early with getting to know a person. i feel like for me sex creates an added connection that i want to hold off on until i see if there is enough non-sexual connection to warrant a relationship

[Zephyr_blossom]

Completely agree

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

It’s totally possible, it all depends on how the two of you want to progress after that.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

How long have you supposedly been 18?

[PinkMichae]

My man and i went on our first date expecting to just hook up and had sex like 3 times that night. We have been together for 3 years now.

[WalterRadio]

I've not only heard, "I don't want sex on our first date" but also "I'm a virgin saving myself for my wedding night, so no sex!" several times.

Funny how women forget about it as soon as they are aroused.

[Finchie40]

Yea nothing wrong with it if you both had great chemistry between you then thats all that matters and the fact that he wants to go out with u again , but that would be your answer if he really likes u

[airylnovatech]

It's fully possible, especially if you've known each other before that. It's just less likely.

[0112358]

I actually would guess sex on the first date slightly improves odds... but not by much.

The fact is most first dates don't lead to a long term relationship. Having sex doesn't completely change that, so most people will say 'oh it didn't work out', but that's no evidence sex was the problem. For many people high sexual chemistry is a positive. Yes, some men judge for it, but tbh, do you want a boyfriend who judges you for wanting sex as much as him?

[thenewgirlll]

Do whatever you want

[Welshman2]

If it feels right for the two people involved to have sex on a first date and they both want to do it, then there's nothing wrong with it

[howlyz]

Play your cards right and be clear about what is it that you want (relationship or something else) , it's about the attitude

[ravedave]

It's definitely possible. If you still have a connection and are interested in each other, then having sex on the first date isn't just going to take all that away.

[Asker]

I seem to have no self control.. I try lol, and I melt as soon as I get kissed. lost control haha I agree with that though. If anything, you'd think it gives people something more to talk about too. brings people closer.. I don't know

[ravedave]

Exactly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. A guy who'd disappear after that probably wasn't really looking for something serious anyways

[Asker]

Ahh I know. Even if he does I'm not stressed.. I lost my innocence card long ago. I apparently have a difficult time behaving. How the hell did I get through school? lol Anyways he's actually done most of the 'chasing' up till now. I made it clear I'm not looking for a fling, but we'll see how it turns out lol I am actually curious on peoples opinions too though xD

[ravedave]

I'm sure it'll all work out. Good luck! 🍀 😊

[Asker]

haha thanks, you too

[rusty1333]

Been together 15 years now. So yes

[Hannajenky]

I made a rule to myself that i would never do that unless he goes down on my first lmao so it usually doesn't get that far and mKes it avlot easier ti say no

[thottiana]

So you have no self control?

[Asker]

I don't.. I do try to but I couldn't help myself. It's been so long.

[smrthomson]

Its totally normal noot to have it no control on my spending i spend more then imake.. Loll😉

[Asker]

Lmfao I have great financial control. But when it comes to sex? I can't help it

[smrthomson]

Inboxx me.. I hve something ro tell you dearr?😁😁

[Asker]

@smrthomson I'm anon for a reason xD don't need guys who think I'm easy to try messaging me

[smrthomson]

Its nothing like that i just want to a suggestion.. Thats alll ( where ypu from, any wayss😁😁)

[Asker]

@smrthomson I followed you and I'm from Detroit

[BlackMaleYou]

@Asker If truly u have no self control when it comes to sex, don't u realize that any guy in his right mind would think that is risky?

[Asker]

@BlackMaleYou Oh I do have self control.. I sure as hell won't with guys I don't like. I could've said no last night but I decided not to because I've been sexually frustrated to no end. We used protection

[thottiana]

“I don’t have self control” “ I do have self control”

[thottiana]

Make up ur mind lady

[Asker]

Yes no maybe so. depends on my mood let's go with, "I have some self control"

[BlackMaleYou]

Of course no one would someone they don't like. Self control is exercised on situations that are tempting a person u don't like poses little or no temptation. But if u did it only out of sexual frustration due to going a really long time without sex, then I can understand. Hopefully it's not a habit cos we do wanna commit to girls that are truly safe

[Asker]

@BlackMaleYou I got std tested about a week ago lol. I'm clean and my biggest issue being sexually frustrated, is that I just got out of a relationship where I'd give him oral, he would never finger me even, then would tell me that he would next time. Stringing me along so he could get head. So naturally, I really wanted some because I haven't been getting any lol

[BlackMaleYou]

The whole point of self control is about ur desires yielding/surrendering to ur better judgement. I've met girls that claimed they are too week-once a guy touches/grab their tits, there is no going back. Any guy can press that button by mistake and there goes ur girlfriend or wife. Of course the girls in question have cheated before. Only pain and insecurities will follow a man that chooses a woman like that.

[Asker]

@BlackMaleYou Ok see, it's not just anyone that can turn me on. If I'm in a relationship it's a turnoff if someone tries to get with me. I guess that's where I differ from others? When I'm in a relationship I focus my attention on my SO

[BlackMaleYou]

When I said to commit to girls that are safe, i didn't mean Std free but meant girls that u can let them go by their business without fear she would stray

[Asker]

makes sense lol

[BlackMaleYou]

In that case it's all good if u treat ur as ur focus and this hook up was just out of prolonged thirst. I once met an American girl that was in ur situation. She was so wet just from kissing lol

[Asker]

Lol yeah last night I was that American girl.. was soaking just from kissing. I'm a very sexual person, but it's not like I'm a cheater.

[BlackMaleYou]

I think most women who claim they are sexual equates being sexual with being promiscius

[Asker]

@BlackMaleYou Lol perhaps. I don't think I'm promiscuous but like I said, I'm definitely not a cheater.

[BlackMaleYou]

Then u are good. U can love sex without being public pussy. I know want a woman that loves sex but goes crazy for her man only. Neither do I go around fuckin every hot girl that is willing. Behaviorally, promiscuous people would cheat. U are not promiscuous then I'm sure the guy u were with would date u if he felt some connection. Ur ex was deliberately not touching u. Why did u stay with him for that long tho?

[Asker]

@BlackMaleYou I was with him for 6 months. I'm literally the most patient person, but enough is enough. I ended up nearly sexting someone else because I was so frustrated, and that was the same night I broke up with him, because I knew it wouldn't be long before I would've cheated.

[BlackMaleYou]

Good call

[pasoccer]

I find it more likely to want to see the girl the sooner sex happens. The longer we wait, the more likely one of us end up in the friend zone or double dating.
Not to mention that there's a stronger connection faster.

[Debussy2691]

You have sexual energy don't ya? So use it... and not be ashamed!

[Anon-ymous1]

It's possible. Proof: Me. For the last few years.

[Asker]

you had sex on the first date and are still together?

[Anon-ymous1]

Yep.

[Kandy-Kane]

A...