Sexual Relationships
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Is it normal to lust for others while being in a relationship?

Basically being attracted to other people too.
Is it normal to lust for others while being in a relationship?
Yes
Vote A
No
Vote B
Depends (explain)
Vote C
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Depends entirely on your definition of lust. While yes, in a relationship you will encounter others and think okay they are attractive, it shouldn't really reach a level where you are thinking and fantasizing of them AFTER seeing them. If the thought of this person keeps lingering on even when you are with your current partner (whom should be your absolute main focus) then something isn't right somewhere. I never catch myself thinking of anyone else other than my partner when I am with them. Yes here and there I may notice a attractive man when I am out and about but it ends there and I don't think much about it afterwards. Like the order day I was watching a live performance of Shawn Mendes on Youtube and I was like "uhm okay this guy is really cute" and then when I finished watching the video, it was over and done and at the end my boyfriend is on my mind MUCH MUCH more than any other man. I also do not wish to sleep with any other man other than my partner and I don't think sexually of other men or desire or entertain fantasies of sleeping with another man.

  • I don't know about others but I personally turn asexual towards anyone else. I'm not interested nor attracted to any other guy, no matter how good-looking. I think it has to do with the mind. If you believe you're attracted to someone else, it will happen. That's why it's necessary to push away that thought immediately, instead of feeding it. It's all an illusion and you do not really feel attracted but you make yourself believe that until you fall. Also if you don't feel sexually attracted to your s/o then that might be the reason why you get those thoughts.
    It's important to date someone who attracts you and to be focused on him only. You'll see, you won't feel attracted to others.

  • It's totally normal to lust after people other than your partner. When my partner sees a girl who is more attractive than me walking past I'm sure they acknowledge that they are attractive, and we all wanna fuck sexy people :P just depends on whether you actually go through with it or not. It's ok to see someone and think they're attractive, it's just not ok to do anything about that attraction.

  • Being in a relationship doesn't stop your eyes from working. As song as your committed and don't act on thinking that another person is attractive, it's ok to recognize another human as attractive, or even masturbate while thinking about somebody other than you partner (like a celebrity)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sure, sexual attraction is an evolutionary instinct. Boiled down to its essentials it is the instinctive and primal desire to reproduce - and it is how the species has survived for several hundred thousand years.

    However, that does not mean that we necessarily want to indulge it. If you see a physically attractive person, that attraction - and the concomitant implicit desire to have sex with that person simply happens.

    The actual act of having sex with that person, however, is a choice. We transcend our instincts - or not - and opt not to have sex with that person based on our emotional attachment to the person we are with.

  • On a low level, sure. By that, I mean looking, and maybe some occasional fantasizing.

    To the point when you're actively pursuing other people, it's not rare, but it's not common, and it's not socially acceptable in most relationships.

    • Well put

    • Well said

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What Girls & Guys Said

23 74

  • It is socially frowned upon in western culture but biologically speaking, it is actually the norm. Being sexually monogamous isn't "normal" in a naturalistic sense.

  • Well i'm going to control myself. I wouldn't be able to do it without feeling guilty though. I do notice hot guys but that's all, I just notice. I'm not going to be fantasizing. I will choose to love my boyfriend because I tell myself that my boyfriend is actually the hottest to me <3

  • Lol. People, seeing the results, don't even ask again who's the cheater gender.

    • There’s a difference between getting those feelings and forgetting about them versus getting those feelings and acting on them. They’re normal human feelings.

    • The women are lying

    • It shows whose more visual to which sexes body more. One thing walking by and for a moment being turned on by a hot woman, but going on with your day. It's another thing wanting and trying to act one it. The honest truth is a man will time to time masturbate even when in a relationship and if it's not to porn some day, it's from the spank bank. And then so, it's most likely thinking of the hot woman he saw at the gym or a celebrity, etc.

    • Show All

  • I'm a serial monogamist, but I believe it depends on the couple and their situation. They could be a polyamorous couple, or maybe they are in an open relationship, or not faithful to each other in general. In my experience I never really found anyone but my partner to be sexually attractive, though I would be able to tell if a person a was good looking. I just wouldn't lust after them.

    • You're young. That will probably change. Women in your age group tend to have the mindset of "the one."' You believe you'll be with you're current relationship, especially your first, forever when that generally isn't the outcome. That might not be you specifically, in not trying to take a shot, I'm just relating my observations of young love. There are guys who think this way too.

  • It's normal to have thoughts at least in passing about others. But if it's truly lust then there's probably something going on in your relationship that isn't leaving you satisfied. If there's nothing like that then you may just need to find what is right for you. There are people who have open relationships and if you are open and up front about that with your significant other that can potentially be ok. You need to figure out what satisfies you and makes you happy.

  • Yes.
    Just don't act on it without your partners consent.

  • Yep it is common to be physically and even emotionally attracted to other people, but you have to learn how to control yourself and not give to those impulses.

  • Yes, it is. Acting on it is not, though.

    Truth is, we always notice people we find attractive and many, if not most, of us imagine having sex with them.

  • It is normal for men to be attracted to other women when they are in a committed relationship. Faithful men don't have an immunity to the charms of other women; they just don't respond to them!

    • Pretty sure it's not a matter of religion. "Faith" does not play into it whatsoever.

    • @Anon-ymous1 Perhaps English is not your primary language. "Faithful" does not refer to any religious concept; it refers to a partner who honors his or her commitment and does not seek any other relationships, sex, does not flirt, or maintain romantic relationships with anyone other than their partner.

    • Perhaps you didn't get the point-- it shouldn't.

    • Show All

  • I think its normal, but you have to be respectful about it if you're in a relationship unless both partners agree to be in an "open relationship" type thing, which is personally not my style since im kind of a jealous bitxh😂. But you do you loves 😊

  • If you are married, no! That's very dangerous, it starts with a thought and builds to a will then to an action, if you don't stop the nasty thoughts then you are in the urge of cheating on your wife.

    Precious tip: Don't even gaze at other women is you might find them attractive, very effective and heart purifing, but, i know, easy said than done.

  • Yes, it is. What's not normal is wanting to be with someone else altogether to the point of being unhappy. Just thinking someone is hot isn't wrong.

  • Well, not that guy with the doofus hair.

  • You'll always find other people attractive or not, done people are objectively attractive. But whether you think of them sexually or fantasize or whatever us something altogether.

  • Yeah, you don't go blind just because you're in a relationship.

    What you do is exercise some restraint and self control. It really isn't that hard.

  • its totally normal to lust for other men whilst in a relationship, its just being human. simply if you see someone attractive you will have a lust for them it is not a choice. You can look and fantasise maybe even be friends with them but that depends on circumstance. This is not considered cheating so your partner should not get angry.

  • Completely normal. Being in a relationship doesn't (or shouldn't) mean you're not a sexual creature anymore. What matters is how you handle these feelings. Do you accept them as what they are just leave it that or do you act on them? If it's the first, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

  • It's completely fine to have a crush and lust after people while in a relationship. As long as nobody acts on it and it passes, it's just a little harmless fantasy.

    People who want their partner to only think about them and never look at another, are kidding themselves.

  • It happens but it shouldn't

    • Why not.

  • For the sake of precision of language, you used the word "lust" not simply "noticing", so based on your terminology no it is not normal.

    "Noticing" is just seeing and being aware that that guy is handsome or that woman is really beautiful. Everyone does that. You used the word "lust" and that is a willful act. That is stopping and really staring and looking at them 4 times, 5 times... etc. and starting to dwell on thoughts of them and picturing them naked and thinking about touching them and being with them. People actively choose whether to lust after someone or not.

    Everyone notices attractive people.

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