If never had a boyfriend and I'm still a virgin at the age of 25, I should give up on dating and sex, right?

I'm a sad and worthless virgin. I also never had a boyfriend and I won't have one anytime soon.

At this point of my life, I should give up on the idea of losing my virginity and having a boyfriend, right? I'm too old to be a virgin and to have a boyfriend for the first time. It's ridiculous!
And I'm so ashamed and disgusted with myself :( :( :( :( :(

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Its perfectly fine to feel this way about it. I am from a family where i was told to concentrate on my studies and not think about girls because later i will have time for that. Due to which I ended up being one of the most awkward person around girls. I am ugly and short, so that doesn't help. I too have given up hope on finding a girlfriend or ever loosing my virginity.

    I used to be sad about it all the time. Then I decided to make my life at least a bit useful. Now i am working for one of the most prestigious non profit research lab and I volunteer in orphanage.

    It is still pretty lonely, but working almost 80 hours a week keeps me so busy that i don't have time to think about anything else.

    But i still feel that the path i chose is wrong, and I should have tried harder. I was just tired of being shot down before even asking.

    I am sure you will be able to find someone, and to be honest, for men who are matured, it doesn't matter if you are virgin or not, as long as you two are good together.

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    • I understand you.
      But sometimes I think that if I haven't found anyone yet, I won't find anymore. I'm too old to have a boyfriend for the first time.

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    • There is. I learnt it. I travel alone. I play video games. Read a lot. Watch tv shows

    • Well, good for you. At least you can do something.

  • Sorry you are so sad and down on yourself. However, you are still young (believe it or not) and you have a long way to go before you can really throw in the towel on a boyfriend or losing your cherry.
    My first suggestion is to get yourself into counseling for depression and low self esteem. Believe me, it will help.
    Second, get out away from the TV and get involved in something where you can be social - meet people.
    Third, find something that will get your body in better shape. Exercise is one of the best things you can do for yourself, body, mind, and soul.
    Good luck... but Do It! And in time... couple years... you will have what you want :)
    Good Luck.

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    • Thank you so much for your advice. You sound like a nice person. :)

      But I don't see myself as a young person. I feel old and I know I'm too old to be a virgin and to have a boyfriend for the first time.

      I can't afford counselling, if I could I would get it.

      TV is my best friend. TV and the Internet are the only things that help me to forget about where I am, since I hate the country where I live. So, it would hard to give up on it.
      Plus, I have no social skills and I'm part of a minority where I live. I doubt anyone would be interested in being friends with me.

      Exercise is the only thing I can do, and I'm planning on start doing it soon.

      Thank you for the advice. :)

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    • Thanks for the MHO. :)

    • You're welcome. :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • You are 25 not 75, and honestly if you haven't had a boyfriend yet, the guys obviously were not worth your time.

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  • I know several people who waiting until they were married to have sex. Don’t judge yourself based on your sexual history, or lack on one. Your virginity is not something that can be lost or taken. Please realize the whole idea of chaste and virginity was created by some insecure men hundreds of years ago because they felt disimpowered by women. (For any nay-sayers, look it up).

    Instead, be upset over the injustice of how you are being treated. Are there any open minded cities near you? I consider near within a couple of hours. You may have to consider an out of town boyfriend in the beginning.

    Turn your attitude from, “I’m worthless, no one wants to date me” (you will radiate this), to “I’m too good for the bigots in this town.” Nothing says sexy like confidence.

    When you date someone and the topic of sex comes up, don’t bash yourself, tell them no one in your town was worth dating and you didn’t want a fling. this shows you value yourself.

    Go treat yourself to a spa day (they’re super cheap if you go to a beautician academy).

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    • Thank you for your sweet words. :)

      But the problem is not with the town I live, it's with the country. If I was able to move to a different country my problem would be solved.
      But I can't move now, because I have no money.

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    • That's a good idea, but in order to find a job like that, I would have to have a college degree. Which is something I don't have yet.
      As for studying abroad, I would have to money too. Is not that easy.

      Anyways, thank you again. :)

    • *would have to have money

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 20

  • You lose 100% of the battles you don't fight. Now I'm no expert in how to meet people or how to get laid, but giving up will only cause more heartache down the line because eventually you will want and need somebody in your life. Even if you don't see a solution now you just gotta keep searching.

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    • I would search if I could.

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    • Never said that I was a virgin. Sorry about that.

    • It's okay.
      At least, you don't have my problem.

  • You're about to get a dozen offers from strangers here willing to help you resolve your situation, lol.

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    • What exactly do you mean by willing to help me resolving my situation?

    • They're going to hit on you. But it'll all be talk.

    • Hit on me , online? That doesn't make sense.

  • Don’t be, you’d be surprised the number of people who are virgins post 24 years, don’t sweat it

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    • You're saying that because you're 17. You're still young, while I'm not.

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    • No problem, I know this line is cheesy, but it will get better, trust me

    • Thank you. I hope so.

  • Wallowing in self-pity won’t get you anywhere. If there is a problem, fix it.

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    • That means, I should have sex with a random guy, right?

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    • Hold up. You are prevented from being a citizen because you are black? What the fuck kind of bullshit is that?

    • It's the country where I live.
      I have the citizenship, but since I'm black and I wasn't born here, I'm a foreigner. And I will always be a foreigner, even if I live here until I'm 80 years old.

  • Im in the same shoes as you, its worth it if you are going to stay faithful to your religion.. Coool?😀😀

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    • I have no religion. I'm just a virgin because I'm not white and I live in a white country where people are racist.

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    • I used to tried soo noo, soo i stoped tryin, loll😁
      At least you could telling me the country if you comfortable.. (Are you from Britain?😍😁😁

    • Yes, I mean that. And I also meant that all guys want to date/marry/ have kids with them.

      There's hope for you because you're a man. Things are different for you.

      Do you seriously expect me to laugh at something so serious like racism?

      I'm black. And I won't tell you which country I'm talking about.
      I'm not from Britain, I'm not European.

  • I can imagine how you feel, but you're only 25. You have time. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed. Why are you disgusted?

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    • I don't have time, my time has passed.
      Because I'm ridiculous and I shouldn't be a virgin at this point of my life. I should be experienced when it comes to sex.

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    • Because there aren't many users from the country where I live, and if I told you where it is, then there would be no point in posting this question anonymously.

      I know I wouldn't. But I have no money to go the US.

    • I think we are having two conversations

  • What's the main reason why you aren't getting a boyfriend, and most people is?

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    • I'm black and I live in a white racist country.

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    • @DiegoO :) :) :)

    • 😘...

  • You aren't alone. I'm 28 and I'm in the same boat (well, never had a girlfriend in my case).

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  • You are a right person to get married to. You don't need to worry. You are normal.

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    • Well, I don't want to get married.

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    • I have my own opinion then

    • Yes, you do.

  • Take a vacation somewhere nice and have some fun. You're still young

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    • I would take a vacation if I wasn't broke.

    • Sounds like the first step is to get your life in order then.

    • How? If don't manage to get a job, because I'm studying.

  • You shouldn't admit defeat for When the going gets tough, the tough get going

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    • I'm already defeated. My time has passed.

    • Well if you already admit defeat there's no need to potential change your mind.

    • Well, I'm just telling the truth.

  • Just go on tinder...

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    • To be raped or used? No, there's no point in doing that.

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    • Ok, I will

    • I sent you a message on kik

  • This is easily remedied.

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    • How so?

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    • Your thinking is rigid and ideological. That is what is limiting you. Message me if you want to continue this conversation.

    • No, it's not. And obviously you don't understand me because you're white and you live in your own country.
      You're lucky.

  • Never give up!

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    • Even if I only lose my virginity when I'm 85 years old?

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    • Don't be so negative! Between now and the point when you are 85 are another 60 years. It will happen.

    • I'm just being realistic.

  • why do you think you are still single?

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    • It's because I don't go out much. Plus, I'm black and I live in a country where most people are white and racist.

  • There is no reason for you to be ashamed. You are not too old and you should not do anything you don't want to do. Don't give up and continue looking for your love ;)

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    • I have reasons to be ashamed, since most women my age are not virgins. Some even have kids.

    • Do not compare yourself with other people. You are a unique person and losing virginity is your private thing. Only you decide whether you are going to be virgin or not and it's totally fine because it's your life.

    • Well, that's not how I see things, but I get your points.
      And I'll probably remain a virgin, but not by choice... :(

  • I am 28 and am a virgin. I think I will wait until i am 34 at least to lose it for someone i might love. perhaps you can wait two three years more to lose it someone you love too.

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    • I think I won't have to wait two or three years. I have to wait 5 or 6 years. Or maybe I'll be a virgin for the rest of my life.

  • Hi. I'm a virgin, 30 years old. I had one girlfriend. I'd say it could be fine to "give up" on having sex. That's kind of where I am. It's not the most important thing anyway. But don't give up on yourself, and it's probably not good to give up on other people entirely too.

    Personally I don't want to date, because it seems like bullshit, and I don't have the energy for it. I would like to be friends with a girl though. It's not necessarily the sex, it's the closeness, friendship, and intimacy that I want the most.

    I don't meet anybody anymore. Do you meet guys, but all of them are racist?

    I hope you are able to move soon, because it sounds like that sucks.

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    • Actually, I said it's probably not good to give up on other people. I should clarify it stronger, don't give up on people.

    • Well, you might be a virgin but you had one girlfriend. While, I've never been on a relationship and it seems like I will never be.
      And I do feel like giving up on myself, everyday...

      I don't even meet many guys , because they don't talk to me. But yes, the ones I met were racist, all of them.

      I do want to move and I'm planning on doing so. The only problem is that I have no money to move to another country. :(

    • And I also want to give up on people, people from where I live.

  • no that’s not true at all. Are you awkward with guys or something?

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    • What isn't true?

      I am. And I'm also black and live in a racist country.

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    • If you live in a racist area, is it a possibility that you can move? Do you have family you need to live with right now? If you have to stay there you have to keep looking for the right guy.

    • I'm not able to move now.

      "f you have to stay there you have to keep looking for the right guy." - I understand you. But how am I supposed to find the right guy, if they don't want to be with someone like me?

  • Most of the time when I hear of a case like this it's usually a guy

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    • I'm not a guy.

    • I believe you I wasn't disagreeing

    • Oh, okay. I'm glad you weren't.

What Girls Said 2

  • Why is this such a defining factor in your life?

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    • Because people aren't virgins at the age of 25. I feel ridiculous, and I also feel like I'm not a woman yet.

  • You should message with some of the lonely men your age here on GAG.

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    • Thanks for making fun of me...

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    • Ah, I see. I’m sorry things are so tough for you. Surely there is someone out there who would love to meet you.

    • I would like to believe in that, but I think it's impossible.

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