Sexual Relationships
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Think my boyfriend still jerks off in the bathroom, help?

me and my boyfriend watch porn together, he pretty much insinuated he wanted to move in with me. a while back when we first started dating i caught him through the night jerking off in my bathroom. at first it got to me but then i tried turning it into something positive. i told him he can happily jerk off beside me during the night if he needs too. i even give him some toilet roll. i have jerked off while he's asleep before.. so i want him to feel comfortable to do the same. we seem'd to become more open and close. but last night he woke up after spooning me and went to the toilet for a pee. though there was no pee noise at all it was quiet for about 3-4mins before he comes back and stays far at his side of the bed before going to sleep.

i'm just wondering what i'm doing wrong here.. i don't want him to have to hide stuff like that from me. i told him anytime he feels horny that i don't mind if he needs to handle it so long as he lets me know. because then i might join in or something. yaknow?
is there anything i can do that will encourage him to masturbate without having to hide it and feel comfortable or am i fucked?
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Seems like you have something good going, with trust. And it doesn't sound like he has a problem, like Don Jon in the movie starring Joseph Gordon-Levit. But still, remember he is a person separate from you and masturbation is a very private, personal thing, so he doesn't have to *always* do it with you, right? It's not like he's doing it 24/7 and is an addict and can't stop. Maybe he just wanted a little privacy. Or maybe he didn't masturbated at all. Maybe he felt an itch or a pimple or something and went to check it out. I don't see it as a big deal. But you need to do the things you are comfortable with. If it's a problem for you, then have a nice conversation with him again.

    • Thanks for MHG!

  • I wouldn't worry about it honestly. If you have a good sexual relationship otherwise than I don't see any issues. Sometimes a person just needs to take care of themself every now and then. I personally don't feel one should have to announce or confess the fact that they want to masturbate to their SO though. Over time he might grow more comfortable doing it in front of you but I wouldn't push the issue.

  • I think if you're happy with your sex life with him, then just let it go and don't try to police his masturbation.

    • not wanting to police his masturbation habits. i'm wanting him to feel comfortable with his masturbation habits around me so that we don't have to be secretive about some things a lot of couples would fall out over. i am hot for him and i want him to know that when he's turned on i am and there is no harm in that. if that sounds controlling then fuck me dude...

    • If he does it in the bathroom then that's how he feels comfortable, so I'd leave it be.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well for starters I commend you how you've handled it so far. I was in a relationship where I was made to be some bad guy if I masturbated and it's something I've done since like 11-12. While the bed thing is a nice suggestion, sometimes it's more just the peace of by ourselves to get it out of our system that's nice. Nothing against our SO at all. Still find them just as attractive and such but it's just a stress relieving moment you know? Unless you find out he's not giving sex because of it or he's jacking off to someone he knows, don't think too badly about it. Continue being open with him and I'm sure he'll do the same. You haven't done anything wrong though.

  • Easy cleanup. Sure you have a roll in bed but what happens if he shoots his load all over the sheets? Easier in the shower or at the toilet to just shoot and it gets cleaned up. Like suggested, let him do that and if you want to masturbate more often in front of him. It's ok to do some things by yourself in a relationship, not to hide from the other person but to be independent. The key is to continue to communicate and reassure him you are about him and it's OK.

    • i give him toilet roll at the side of the bed. i even told him he can make an account on my pc and use it for personal use if he needs to when im out. last night i think i heard him take his boxers off in the bed. and i felt movement.. and a moment of silence. then couple of mins later i hear him pull up his boxers and then he turns toward me. not sure if he actually attempted but if he did i'm actually quite proud lol

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8

  • It might be that he is not quite to the point in life where he feels comfortable masturbating in front of you. No way would I have done that with a girlfriend in my 20's. Later in my 30's I had girlfriends who would do that as a normal part of having sex. If I actually had a girlfriend now I'd be comfortable masturbating together with her. It's quite the turn on.

  • You're not doing anything wrong. But sometimes masturbating just needs to be done alone. Just like how healthy couples might not spend every second together, everyone also needs some alone sex time.

  • Maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable doing it in front of you for some reason.

    • is there a way i can show him it's ok?

    • @Asker, masturbate in front of him. Take the lead

    • Maybe the next time you guys have sex, as you're leading up to it, ask him to jerk off in front of you, show him you enjoy it, maybe it might help him realize it's not a big deal

    • Show All

  • Probably same way as me. I prefer to sit than lay down - so maybe he’s more sitting on the toilet style of masturbating? Also why don’t you go in there and watch? Maybe give him a hand or blowjob on the toilet while he’s sitting there masturbating in front of you. Just make sure your toilet is clean and fresh smelling 👍🙂. Who knows - might lead to toilet sex 👍🙂

  • He maybe needs complete privacy during masturbation

    • he did say he's not used to doing something like that but he's willing to. but doing it is different than saying so it's all up to him i guess

    • He will get used to it with passing time

  • why dont you give him bj?

  • Why dont you do that by your

  • Maybe the bathroom is easier to clean up in. Also if he woke you up when your asleep, then you would be upset with him for making you tired in the morning.

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