My boyfriend is bad in bed. Help?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend literally just two months and I love him and he loves me too and I couldn’t ask for a better gentleman to come into my life but my problem is the fact he’s bad in bed and has little to no drive... He’s 6 years older than me (26) and way more experienced in the bedroom but our sex life litrally consists of going straight to town (penetration) no foreplay and we don’t change positions it’s the same over and over. I’ve suggested changing positions but he just goes soft. Even with oral sex he can’t keep it up despite telling me it feels good. I’ve gently told him we need to change things up many times and he has tried to a little (only by doing doggie and he almost lost his erection then) But we haven’t progressed from there. It got to the point I felt so sexually frustrated I said exactly what I was thinking which was that he was boring in bed (I’ve since apologised as I realised it upset him) but he’s agreed he’s going to start making an effort from now on and excluding missionary altogether, But since then he doesn’t even make any effort. We still kiss and cuddle but he won’t be intimate with me despite my efforts (underwear, flirting, touching and even point plank telling him) I don’t know what to do, I love him but it feels like our sex life won't chang...

[MrOracle]

You're literally going to have to be his teacher. And maybe you need to stop having intercourse and focus only on foreplay and oral for a while (which he won't like, probably, but WILL help). You need to encourage him anytime he does well, and give him gentle but honest feedback when he's not doing so well. Always remember that his entire ego is on the line, so be gentle unless you MUST be otherwise - and remember that praise and positive feedback is FAR more effective than negative feedback, so as much as you can, focus on building on what he does well.

He probably has NO CLUE how your body or mind really works (and I'm being completely serious about that), so you may need to explain it all to him. Try to make him see it as an adventure of exploration. The female body IS a wonderland, after all.

[Anonymous]

He has ED at 32? He (1) might have low testosterone-should be tested (2) have "porn dick" from spanking the monkey too much AND watching too much porn. Have him lay off the porn for at least 3 weeks and then see if things get better. Otherwise, dump him.

[Natalie11299]

Talk to him!!! Communication is key to a good relationship. He won’t know to learn or fix anything if you don’t tell him what you want or like.

[Anonymous]

Well have you spoke to him about starting with dding more foreplay?

[Asker]

Yeah. But he loses his erection... I’ve mentioned a few times He could try to go down and me and his response is ”I could try that” but he never does.

[Opinion Owner]

Just keep on? As you shouldn't be giving when he can't reciprocate

[Asker]

You’re right x

[truthbeknown]

You might have to take the lead a bit more here. Don't let him go straight to penetration. Guide him to what you want. If you want more foreplay, then do that. Maybe you aren't directing him as much as you think you are and maybe you are expecting him to read your mind.

[johnmichaei]

I'm thinking you got three options 1 to break it off 2 for you to take charge and do what you want 3 to find you a side buddy someone on the side

[Danielleo]

then try this out have a session where you dont have normal sex only oral and foreplay, and see how it goes.

[Asker]

He loses his erection, as I’ve tried handjobs and blowjobs but he can’t relax and loses the mood. He just likes to jump straight into sex. It goes from kissing to putting on a condom to then penetration. It’s not enjoyable but I didn’t want to upset him and it’s all I can get :/

[Danielleo]

so fkn what. you have all the time in the world why rush your part of the problem to

[Asker]

No, there’s no rush at all but it’s causing tension in the relationship, he gets down about himself if it doesn’t go to plan is all

[Danielleo]

well I told you how to do it look s like nothing will change then

[Danielleo]

it s your satisfaction your not getting more and he is

[Asker]

I know :( I’ll do some thinking and re approach the subject with him again soon

[Girolamo]

Best to wait for marriage.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

see a doctor

[Asker]

He doesn’t think he has a problem but I’d hate to tell him I think he has one

[BOUNTYGUY9]

he is a good guy as you say but he should talk with a doctor and things could be sorted out within a few weeks

[Asker]

He’s lovely but since I told him exactly how I felt he’s a little delicate so I don’t know how to word my sentence about him seeing a doctor... any ideas? Since you’re a guy If you had this issue how would you like to be told?

[BOUNTYGUY9]

l like a girl to be straight to the point but if l am ill l go and see my doctor your guy is ill and delicate as l read between the lines you have to tell him the truth you are both in it together for the long term how long can you both go on like this l would say not very much longer so tell him he is going with you to see the doctor

[Asker]

That’s very true, it’s causing tension between us... I’ll have a think about how I should tell him. Thank you

[BOUNTYGUY9]

take care l do hope things work out for both of you

[atypicalcatfisher]

Sounds like a personal problem mate

[pizzaman123]

Does he know where ur CLIT is. Show him how to lick it.

[Anonymous]

Make a event out of it find some good porn you both like and copy it from start to finish.