I want my husband to spank me?, Guys, do you agree with his reaction/response?

[Anonymous]

Ok so my husband and I have a very healthy, dirty, kinky, and happy relationship/sexual relationship. We’ve done all sorts of things from fantasies to role play to having sex in every room inside our house to tying each other up, etc Ok so anyway I asked my husband to spank me and he said he wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with that. I said ok and made sure he knew that I would never force or try to get him to do something he didn’t want to or felt uncomfortable with. I said may I ask why. He said he would think about it and he felt it was wrong not about spanking but about the whole idea of “punishing” a woman. He said that it reminded him of abusive husbands who beat and or tortured their wives. He also said he hated the idea of “hitting” me. I asked him if he was afraid of hurting me. He said no because he never would. But he said that he felt it was absolutely wrong to hit a woman. I said I understand and I respect your decision. But I told him you would not be hitting me out of anger or trying to hurt me and it wouldn’t have to hard. Also it’s not like you slapping me in the face or something. But I told him I just thought it would be something fun to do but if he was uncomfortable then it definitely wasn’t worth it. So anyway I respect his decision and would never want him to do something he’s uncomfortable with. Guys do you agree with him? Like do any other guys feel this way?

[Philyouup]

Its a mental thing.. I have the same discomfort. Even though I know its for"play" and her pleasure, there is something about it that sits wrong with me.. Totally my issue. But hers too if she enjoys being spanked... I have brought myself to spanking her, but it kills my sex drive.. I know its my hangup, and I tried to overcome it.. but still it bothers me... I don't know why. I love to give pleasure, and understand her pleasures my differ from mine, and every thing else we have done, I can be ok with, knowing I am give pleasure. Just not this one, and when I have done it, it just kills my passion.

[Asker]

I hear you. Anal does the same thing to me. So my hubby and I have decided to add it the not right now list. I like having boundaries and both of us staying in our comfort zone.

[funguy90]

I don't think you can be mad about where his reasoning is coming from and how he feels. Everyone feels differently about things. I think it's great you are able to respect his decision but I see where you are coming from and may want it. I think there is a difference between a man who does it out of anger and violence vs out of sexual desire and passion. I've done it a lot so I may be biased but I don't see anything wrong with spanking. When both people are able to talk about it and both say it's okay it can be a lot of fun. Maybe ask him again later to reconsider?

[Logorithim]

I think you are looking at it the right way- no one should do anything they are uncomfortable with as part of a sex act, kinks, of fetishes.

That said, since you have a kinky sex life and it's your request to be spanked on the butt, I personally don't find that abusive or dangerous (I would spank her softly, anyway).

[devilman666]

I'm fine with it, but I can see his point. I do have a limit where I start asking the woman if she's really okay, but I don't even think of spanking in the bedroom as abuse. It's a mix of not wanting to hurt someone you love and not wanting to feel like you're doing something wrong. Tbh though I think the whole idea of not hitting women is sexist and unreasonable. It's been drilled into men so hard and now women will physically attack and harass men and respond with "what, are you gunna hit a girl?".

I got off topic. I respect his opinion but feel like it was instilled in him by others. I don't agree with him but I can respect the desire to not cause harm.

[ecfresh]

I think he should spank you and you should have anal sex with him. Especially as you get older and have more years of marriage you will want to try new things to keep the spark alive and keep sex exciting.

He needs to get over the fears of hurting you and trust that if he ever did cross the line that you would let him know. Also that you would not hold it against him if he crossed the line because you know it was not done for negative reasons.

You should have anal sex with him. Be sure to spend time researching the topic and have proper lube. He needs to be slow and gentle with you in the beginning to not cause any pain. You both need to openly communicate until you get comfortable. If you have fears beforehand, verbalize them so that he understands.

Overall while you both did a good job of talking about spanking and you feel like you reached a conclusion of mutual respect, instead you both backed down due to fear. Because you are married you need to work as a couple of break down barriers and try new things that might seem fearful. You will be surprised how much you can do together and in the end you will feel even more connected than you do now.

[boggboss]

I don't like doing it either that and choking

[Asker]

I don’t like chocking sir hitting or any of that stuff. I like having my hands tied every now and than and maybe a blindfold but that’s about it but the only reason I asked was because I just thought it would be hot for him to lightly smack my bum a little

[boggboss]

Fair enough for u I just know I don't like that stuff either lol

[Asker]

I mean I’m definitely not in bdsm I just meant a little bit I mean do you disagree with what I listed?

[boggboss]

No not done it but wouldn't mind blindfold or handcuffs

[Asker]

Blindfold and handcuffs are about it for me. Hell I don’t even like anal. I just meant like a few light smacks is all

[Asker]

I didn’t mean like fifty shades or as hard as he could like porn

[boggboss]

I k ow but what defines a hard to soft if u can do it that's it well for me anyway

[Prankster13]

Ya I agree with him. I just don't wanna do that. Even if she was okay with it..

[reptocarl]

I’m not into that either

[Intraluminal]

While I've spanked girls in a sexual way, I can see, and respect, where he's coming from.

[howlyz]

Could be he is simply not that type I guess, he doesn't understand what it is about because it doesn't have anything to do with violence and aggressiveness. I am sorry if this is true because I think SM games are very fun, so I disagree with him

[Buzzard9510]

The next time you are on all four and is taking you from behind and you're really getting into it talk dirty to him then and tell him to slap you. Go ahead and even maybe slap your own butt to give him some encouragement. And when he does slap your butt tell him how great it feels and moan a lot. Encourage him

[johnmichaei]

I don't because I am a dominant Southern gentleman I love to spank my submissive love the feeling and she loves the control and punishment

[johnmichaei]

Have you found out anything sweet little girl

[aminiouss]

Yeah he's right if it happens with me I will have same opinion

[Decentguy]

your husband is mixing physical abuse with sexual pleasure, Both are entirely different things

[Asker]

So you disagree?

[Decentguy]

yup, i mean if my future wife loves getting spanking because of sexual pleasure, i'd be happy to spank her ass, because i love the idea of spanking her ass, but if she doesn't likes it then i won't

[Asker]

To be honest I’m not that upset he said no. It is just part of life also I respect his decisions just like he has me. For example the I don’t want to have anal sex. He more than respected it What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t do the same?

[Trollfather]

Use a "safety word" if things get out of hand lmao

[HereIbe]

HE IS OVERTHINKING!

When any of my women asked for spanking, I started spanking. First a moderate smack, then I told them that I'd ramp it up until they said enough. Then I did. And IF they said so, I stopped or became less violent. A couple never asked me to tone it down, no matter how violent I became. They liked it extremely hard and harsh, and the bruises made them horny, afterwards--but it was their free choice to experience the pain and the bruising. They had the control.

[TheRealQuestion]

Same here.

[cancan73]

I disagree with him, the lady gets what the lady wants, he's selfish

[egykimo]

No spanking during sex has nothing yo do with the idea of punishing or hurting. Its a kink like many other and accepted by many girks. He is just a littke sinsitive and love you extra

[Asker]

Sensitive? What do you mean extra? So are you saying he’s more emotional?

[egykimo]

Yes he is so caring about you to the point he mixes between that kink and the concept of hitting females.

[Asker]

Is that good or bad?

[egykimo]

I mean he is not a vanilla man from what you mentioned.. so what's the point of not being into some fluffy light spanks its not harming tho. Anyways as long as you both can understand eachothers limits so its ok no thing bad with that.

[masterkamasutra]

disagree, its an old idea, spanking a butt is not punishment its more fun, the problem is he has old idea and you have new.

[Anonymous]

I agree with him. I don’t like spanking even though I’m into just about anything else at all.