How to overcome for real the fear of having sex for the first time?

[Anonymous]

I dont mean oral sex cause that is difference as it is different to insert a penis in your mouth where it is not something it may hurt you but I meant the real intercourse, the penetration of a penis in your vagina.
There is a friend of mine who is a virgin still but she is almost 40 and she was considering or still considering loosing her virginity to a guy she met 3 years ago and she is very attracted to, they are not dating though or have a relationship they are like friend but t hey are not strangers, or he is not a guy she jsut met one month ago to put it in some way. They had been on dates just twice and the msot intimate thing they have done together is they had made out in both dates. The guy had proposed to her to have sex becaue he told her they alreayd know eahc other and it is time after 3 years of knowing each other even if they had gone out just 2 times in dates but they had seen each other in other random times but not like in dates.
The guy knows she is a virgin and told her once he did not mind. So she assumed that if he does not mind it means taht if they do it eventually he wil treat her right and softly and not do crazy stuff that is what she assumes he even told her once he will treat her right but one thing is saying and anotehr thing is when it actual happens when itis the heat of the moment for both of them,

She feels taht if she doe s nto do it with this guy beause she is attracted to him and she is not a stranger she won't know if she will ever l do it when she is like 50 for example or she will never have the pleasure of enjoy sex like any other human average person out there but even with that in mind, sh eis still have the fear of the penetration and she asks herself if she ever will over come that fear otherwise she will never do it with this guy or with any other guy cause she will be always with fear with any guy this one or other one. She told me the thought of a guy a

[Berethor]

And his tongue penetrating her mouth was not scare at all? also don't be so sure that oral is better, yes it considered less little less serious then PIV, but I know women who have more problem with giving oral to a man than with PIV, mainly considered they believe that giving oral is more slutty and/or humiliating. Anyway if she want to stay virgin until the day you day it's her call, but in that case she might as well didn't started any kind of intimate relationship with him, not even making out, a woman want to live like a nun, she might as well go all the way with that choice. I can understand why she have mix feeling about sex, in fact many people have mix feeling about sex, I can even understand why she might be seeing sex as a evil thing, but consider this, almost all women was able to do it, even women who are half her age, so why you think that she would be unable to do it? she don't know how to react in sex? what there is to know? and it's usually the man who is doing most of the actual 'work' in sex, there is some women who are active in sex, but it's quite uncommon.

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SexIsEvil

tvtropes.org/.../LieBackAndThinkOfEngland

tvtropes.org/.../AManIsAlwaysEager

tvtropes.org/.../TechnicalVirgin

[FMJ_Guy]

I have been with two virgins, and both were really nervous, and unsure, in their mid-twenties, thinking that there was something wrong with them, because they were still virgins.
Both had this crazy idea that it is just 'Something to get over with' and move on, like it was nothing. But talking with both (different times, obviously!!) they both said the same thing, that it bothered them, and they never found the right, 'nice' guy, that would make it special.
I assumed that something that personal, that intimate, would be something 'special' to women, like something to remember, as a GOOD THING!!
They said their friends just said to do it, and get it over with, and then you can have all the sex you want.
But do all women want it that way? Maybe it should be something special, for some?

[Asker]

and how did u feel having sex with thsoe 2 virgins knowing theri situation?

[FMJ_Guy]

Different times, and a couple years between them. I was really more attracted to them, personally, and liking their personality, before even getting to the point when I imagined something more. I worked with both, so that complicates things!! Similar starts, to the story, for both, just getting to know them, talking, casual conversations, sometimes saying things, and they blushed. More talking, then asking out on a date, when I knew they were both single. The story for each, changes there, and like I said about 2 years between them. I liked getting to know both, and when I found out that they were both virgins, I paused, as that seems like it should be a BIG DEAL, for her! Who am I to be the first one? What if I am not what she expects? A lot of talking, and getting to know each, in their time, and just liking them, as who they are. How to approach the 'first time' thing? Seems so many women just think they should 'get it over with' but why? Shouldn't it be special? PM?

[TrixiePooch]

I lost interest after the first 2 sentences as it sounded like complete bull shit. Some people on here...

[Asker]

I mean not everyone is the same people have fears why criticize someone who has fear

[TrixiePooch]

like I said, complete bull shit.

[Asker]

I assume then you are very much experienced and in ur first time you never felt afraid

[TrixiePooch]

What the fuck, you have never had sex before? You tell your friend and stop posting these lame ass questions here so you can get off to the answers.

[Asker]

My friend had never had sex she is not a member of GAG. So why if she ha snot had sex before is that a crime?

[SarahsSummer]

I think they should date more become a true couple. Then she’ll be able to more relax and enjoy it

[MlleCake]

She and I have talked endlessly about this. I think she just needs to go for it.

[martell1987]

Um hi Much Love as a friend and Really?

[Asker]

Why really?

[martell1987]

Hey, I asked because I'm wondering the same thing

[abundantlyrich]

The guy will have to ease her into it

[outside_Toronto]

I don't understand how anyone is afraid of sex.
It's sex!!! It feels amazing

[Asker]

The thought of penetreation I believe is hat many women gets scare of

[Asker]

Guys think it is so easy but for women this is very important and think things throughly. I mean guys are not the ones feeling the pain is the women that is why we are more sensitive about the issue

[Asker]

Do u feel pain when u had penetrated a lady for the first time?

[otw1269]

It is Bullshit we r still friends with benefits and just fucked today

[otw1269]

That suck cause I couldn't fuck her today cause her pussy was to sore

[Asker]

geez give her a break why u need to fuck her once again treat her well why the rush

[otw1269]

What one of the links do I click on to see this action

[CuriousMufuxka]

This is ridiculous!

[Asker]

why it is ridiculuos im just tellinmg what my friend has told me and confide in me

[Anonymous]

just stick to oral only

[Asker]

Forever oral I tell her?

[Asker]

an dif the guy gets tired of oral and want sto move to the next step it is better not to continue with the guy? But it is kind of leading him on I assume a lot of blah blah and at the end nothing

[Opinion Owner]

has she tried oral already?

[Asker]

She told me yes with a much younger guy like 1 year ago but taht is all. The guy did propose to her to have sex but she was very afraid to do it and she told him, no back then, although the guy got upset for taht beause he wanted to be his first and she di dnot want the girl to do it with other guys in her age he wanted her to loose it with him. But she never did it anyway she was way too afraid especially foor the descriotion the guy made her on how good sheh will feel a in details and told her something like "I will do this to you, I will open your legs , etc etc etc" but let me do it. I guess instead of making her comfortable he made her afraid. and she pictured aa penetration that will hurt a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

was it mutual? i mean he did on her and she on him?

[Asker]

yes it was mutual

[Asker]

i meant the oral sex

[Opinion Owner]

Well so it was only once, she should tryt it more. Maybe its enough for both parties just to have oral