Does sex really matter in a relationship?

Question

If you hate sex, is it the act of sex that you hate or the lack of enthusiasm and/or technique of, or with, your partner that bothers you?  If you love sex, what is it about sex that you love? Why? Really, there are probably millions of people around the world that do not like sex or think it is only to have a baby and for no other reason and do not enjoy an exciting and healthy sex life. But all the while, at the same time others crave it and can't get enough. How do you make sense out of it? Please fill me in and educate me as to the "in's and out's" of your thinking on the subject... I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!

SamanthaGG · Accepted Answer

Some ones are asexual and some others also have problems like physical or mental illness or genital defects or unpleasant memories of Rape or Pain for having Sex, and also some of them are religious, otherwise they may have an ideology in mind.
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But friendship and love not just about sex. If you hate sex but you want marry , no problem, it's your life and You can find a person who has same common opinion with you and marry him.

QueenofCups · Accepted Answer

God yes!!! You know how I feel about that.

MrOracle · Answer

Sex to me is many things - but one of those things that it is for me is IMPORTANT and nearly a necessity.

Sex is pleasure, it's a release of tension, it's a shared experience that brings you closer, it's aggression, it's passion, it's a lazy Sunday morning, it's getting to know your partner in the most intimate way, and it's communication at its most basic.

While I probably *could* be in a relationship without sex, I categorically refuse to even consider that. To me, there's no point to a romantic relationship that doesn't include sex - it's like ordering a pizza just so you can throw it away and eat the cardboard box - it makes no sense.

I accept that there are those who hate sex or are just not interested, and that's fine - but they aren't "relationship-compatible" with me.

AustinMan · Answer

Sex is the engine that drives intimate relationships. Why do you ask?

ChurchOfIron · Answer

There is no sense to be had. It is an innate need for humans. Not a need like air or water or food, but a need like human touch.

Babies will literally die if they aren't held. That's how important touch is to humans. That is a need. You won't die without it, but you will be significantly less adjusted.

Sex is the same. You won't die without it, but if you're not having it, you're going to be less stable or otherwise fucked up than someone who is. And, of course, the obvious part: sex feels good. Real good.

Sex also releases bonding neurochemicals like oxytocin and vassopressin. These strengthen the relationship and intimacy shared between the two. And, this feels good. If something feels good, you like to do it.

There need be no reason that people want sex, other than "we're animals, and it's programmed into our genetic coding." It is our natural desire.

Humans are instinct + belief/thought + social influence. Instinct is the primary motivator and guider of humans, as animals. Logic takes a backseat to emotion, and is usually only used to rationalize baser instincts. As neuroscientists have discovered. Shouldn't be a surprise that people are primarily emotional and impulsive, though.

Reasons one could not want to have sex:

Instinct: they could have damaged genetics, a physical or mental illness which makes them not desire sex.

Belief: We could put trauma here, possibly. If someone associates sex with negative things or a past trauma, then they will not want to have it.

Social influence: The [bullshit] repression of female sexuality; the idea that sex should only be had for reproduction or whatever else which condemns people for having sex.

TrixiePooch · Answer

Why do I find it hard to believe that you believe sex does not matter? Come on, stop pulling the wool over everyone's eyes.

binarybabe001 · Answer

It's something that REALLY matters in a relationship.

Tdieseler · Answer

IF you are going to argue that, then let me argue this.
Does sex matter... well... it depends.
does intimacy matter to you? do dates matter to you? does marriage matter to you? does a wedding matter to you? does a ring matter to you? and i can go on for fucking ever.
I created a 90-10 theory...90 being what a guy or girl wants as their requirement and 10 being what they still want but can live without.
according to my theory,
Guys: 90 = sex 10 = intimacy and all that other crap
Girls: 90 = intimacy and all that other crap 10=sex

my point is... if sex doesn't really matter to you, speaking as a guy, that is totally understandable... but don't get mad when the guy withholds dates, marriage, commitment..."all that other crap"...
Cuz i know one thing, im not giving a girl her 90, and she won't give me mine.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

no sex means no marriage for me... only way is if i was married a long time and he lost the ability to have sex.. i would love him still... and he could still pleasure me..

Elizzie · Answer

Sex absolutely matters in a relationship. It's the purest, raw form of passionate love.

weysally · Answer

its only my thought, but sex matters when your young, I have known girls of my age group going out with a good looking boy, but the sex was awful according to them and didn't go out with him again, I have been lucky in this, only one boy was awful, but it wasn't just sex with him he wasn't very nice,
a friend of mine has told me that her husband has diabetes and even Viagra doen't help, but because of their feelings for each other sex doesn't matter quite so much, also this is my thoughts, after the sex slows down there has to be something to replace it, like my friend,

Angelina124 · Answer

It's not everything but it sure is the best part for me lol

Logorithim · Answer

Very important. If she has little to interest in sex, the relationship won't last.

ChronicThinker · Answer

I love sex because it feels amazing, I have an amazing lover, I love to please, and it's a privilege we only share with each other.

i1T2daty · Answer

Sex is the physical manifestation odf desire and desire is incredibly important = at least to me- in a relationship. It's when the sex changes from button popping, panty tearing, anywhere whether public or private, sometimes preferably public sex from "honey, do you want to fool around" that relationships can wind up on thee rocks. Stay mysterious, don't always have the same opinion. We try to make our lover into ourselves having the same opinions, liking same films and music that the pursuit of the other and the desire behind that fades and relationships become difficult since we will always seek to find the white heat of passion somewhee

Ellie-V · Answer

For most people, yes.

Finchie40 · Answer

Oh hell Yes it matters , a million reasons why unless you find someone that doesn't care for sex , but to me sex is very important , first, it feels Amazing and sex has so many benefits , health, keeps you both connected and your love for each other stronger, if My partner didn't want sex i would think she wasn't really in love with me and feel like they were just a room mate , i would probably end up leaving them and find someone else that loves sex , hot saying ypu have tp have sex everyday but you should both be going it to each other , i was born this way so i can't help it lol I dont walk around with a penis and balls between my legs just to pee it s there cuz it wants to go inside a vagina and rock her world. Power to the Hoof!!!

Dargil · Answer

Critically important. If it does not come in-house, it will be had elsewhere. If you hate sex, remain single.

reptocarl · Answer

Yes it really does matter. There has to be sexual compatibility for a relationship to work

ATuairiscean · Answer

Taking sex out of the equation that is why I advocate full and open communication to trash out any issues. You shouldn't be on your honeymoon and something like this comes up. To me sex is very important but I have never been in a relationship with someone who is asexual or low sex drive, would it matter of course but I wouldn't know how until it happened to me. Would it be a dealbreaker, no but I would encourage us to think about ways to adapt to it.