Sexual Relationships
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My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore but my sister-in-law just has a crush on me?

Me & my wife were dating for about 5 years before she dumped me. Then after 1.5 years she came back to me and apologised for what she did. Then with the consent of both families we got married. I am one woman man & she is the only girl I have in my life. I never wanted to have sex before marriage but she insisted & made me do it. Things were awesome then. She had huge sex drive & we used to have a lot of fun, she used to have it twice or thrice a day. But after marriage she has lost her craving & doesn't want to make it more than twice a month. Now I have a high sex drive & I get erected whenever I just see her. She doesn't like it & we have argued over it. She says I m a sex addict. BTW: everytime we have sex she orgasms, but she doesn't let me do oral (which she liked before) & want me to make it quick. But it takes me at least 20 minutes to come. Trust me I do all the foreplay & do it very carefully so that I don't hurt her. But she just keeps saying make it quick, why u take too long. My sexlife just sucks. Now a new problem arose that her younger sister has developed a crush on me. She expressed it to me & even told me she wants to give me happiness her sis lacks. As sisters my wife complained about my sexuality to her just casually. She says she loves my personality too. I always considered her as my own sister & my wife is the only one I get aroused to. Few days back my wife's elder cousin (elder than me too) also fell for me & asked her to share me. At first she took it as fun but when she started to seduce me it was a huge chaos & the two families don't even talk to each other anymore. Trust me its only my wife with whom I want to have sex I just want to make her happy. She always thanks me for the impossibles I have done for her & her family. Her dad, sister & mom are always thankful to me & always try everything to remind me my favours to them. I don't know how her sister fell for me & what to do now, as she is not a cousin I can avoid. Please help me.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm assuming you have specifically and straight forwardly told you wife the amount and quality of sex is completely not working for you. Sex two to four times a month is hardly being a sex addict. Are you able to get her into marriage counseling? Is she willing to seriously discuss the issues? Hopefully she will understand the need for marriage counseling. However, she sounds like she's insensitive to your needs, and I wouldn't be surprised if she refused to go, or if she went, refused to work on the issues. She just comes across that way. But you need to give marriage counseling a try, if she will. She needs to have some incentive to work on the marriage, and the sexual issues. Right now, she seems to have no incentive, as she controls how often, and how long, any sexual activity lasts. If you are unwilling to live with this limited sex life, then you need to tell her in no uncertain terms, and what will happen if she refuses to get counseling with you. Or, if you are staying with her, whatever comes, then be prepared to have a very limited sex life.

    • No I never told ger its not working.. But I get depressed when she straight forwardly refuses to do it.. She herself understands she is not fulfilling my need. But she also knows whatever she does I m not gonna leave her, that helps her a lot to take decisions. And I already talked about counselling just casually, she said she is ok, I need this because its me who is always thinking about sex. U tell me brother in a newly married life is it enough to have sex only twice (max thrice) a month?

  • Never go back on the same trash= your wife is trash
    when she does not want sex , meaby u are unattractive, thats main reason why it happens and they lie when they say they are tired or they got headache
    never forgive somebody who left you and u married her omg dude i got no words
    i would say if u are unhappy with the person u are just leave this person
    and yes i mean get a divorce and dont say that it hurts because it should not
    she left u years back and she got back to you on her knees
    stupid that u agreed to let her be with u again bcs id never do that in hell
    only way i can help you is get a divorce and tell her to gtfo
    its harsh but u are only 29 u will find another woman that will love u really because ur wife is not the true one

    • Bro u r talking just like my other friends.. Though they don't know the sexual situation they always say she is not the perfect one for me. But bro how can I get divorce without any solid proof that something is wrong? What if its just a mental issue? What if she is trying but can't control the situation?

Most Helpful Girls

  • Your problem started when you took your wife back who abandoned you more or less. No she doesn't want sex though at first she wanted it all the time. Has she been to the doctor to see if her hormone levels, like estrogen, are off? If she is not getting enough estrogen her sex drive will take a dive. What do you have to lose to have her checked out? If that is not the problem then you will either have to live in a virtually sexless marriage or get a divorce. In either case stay away form these other women cause that would be cheating and adultery. That could figure in a divorce settlement that you were unfaithful and cost you. If you get a divorce than you are free to do what you want but I see trouble if you go with the sister and cousin. You need to find someone who is not related to that weird family.

    • Thanks a lot. She herself did the hormonal check up few days back as she was gaining weight, so her doctor friend suggested hormonal check up. I have seen the results & everything was normal. Her friend also said so. Many people specially my friends always told me not to marry her because they have a lower economical situation than us, but I never measured anyone by this scale. I got many proposals before & after the relationship with her, but I liked only her. She had many boyfriends before me, but I always have only her. She is beautiful, so people should like her, so I never talk about her past. By any means, as a girl do u think she is having any extra marital relationship? Cz after she broke up with me being influenced by her cousin she got involved with another person. But now she says everything has changed.

    • Like I said, your mistake was taking her back. I don't think she is anyone I would trust.

    • Thanks a lot. If u kindly think about it later & find any solution to my situation & could share it with me it will be very kind of u.

    • Show All

  • If you have kids and didn't help with the house chores, it would explain a lot why your wife's sex drive is decreasing.

    • We don't have kids yet. & she is not ready as she wants to visit the world. I have always helped her in household chores, I even cook for her, if she is tired I even give her body messages.. I even wash her clothes.. But sometimes (mostly now a days) she doesn't allow me to do these things as she now thinks me doing these things make her feel she is lazy or a disable person.. Please help me sister. I have tried everything I could to keep this relation alive. Nothing is working but I can't leave her.

    • Can this be a problem that it's been 9 years we r in relationship (including 1.5 years of break up) but we still don't have kids? But she says before her world tour she won't be having kids.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15

  • Marriage counseling

    My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore but my sister-in-law just has a crush on me?My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore but my sister-in-law just has a crush on me?

  • Find a good couple's therapist and work it out with your bride.

    • Thanks a lot brother.. Thats the only option now...

    • Godspeed!

  • Cheating is always wrong. If you are in a relationship that has some aspect to it that makes you unhappy or unfulfilled enough to consider cheating, then that means you either fix, or end, tgat relationship.

    And when the relationship is done and over you can sleep with someone else.
    Anything less is violation of a commitment.

    And even if you did leave her going for her sister, even of appealing, is a bad idea.
    Causes way too much drama, directed at you and within the confines of her family.

  • Hmmm she is looking for something to her life you aren't giving her or can't or she feels she wants something that she doesn't want from you. Maybe a type of sex, or a type of touch or a sensuality you aren't providing. Nothing per say you're doing wrong, just something different from what you're already giving her. I don't know what it is because we don't know her side of the story. But when a woman is truly satisfied, she doesn't bother looking elsewhere, same with men.

  • As long as she is over 18, then go ahead. But set up rules first.

    If you can figure out a way for your sister-in-law to move into your house it will be easier.

  • Sounds like you're going to need to avoid both women. It would cause major upset if you went with either of them.
    As to your wife. Is there a reason she doesn't want sex? Is there something you are not doing?
    Sometimes they just don't see a reason for it anymore.

    • I asked her about it & she said what is the need of sex in a relationship.. And she just said she enjoys it but she just feels lazy to do it.. And her sister is continuously hitting on me making it embarrassing for me...

  • The problem is you, partly: The options you are willing to agree to don't help. And the options that will help you are not agreeable to you. Inflexibility will break you.

  • Well our wife isn’t giving you what you need and the sister will I would see if she’s willing to keep it on the downlow and have the pleasure with the sister and I’m sure the sister needs some cock to so you both would enjoy it

  • Don't cheat, dump her. If she insists on staying together make it conditional on you going outside of the marriage for sex. It's either or.

  • Hey see what your mother in law thinks about all this. Maybe she wants to fool around with you too.

  • Don't have sex with your sister-in-law unless you all speak about it but this sounds dangerous as she wants a full on relationship in my opinion

  • Is it possible that your wife wasn't in love with you when he married you?

    • I don't know brother. She left me by being influenced by her that cousin who had a crush on me. But later when she realised everything & found out that I am still single waiting for her she came back.. Apologised for everything she did & cried to take her back in my life. She made promises that she will never leave me again & to make it sure she managed the marriage taking all the steps.. So how she can not be in love with me?

    • Its kind of confusing.

  • Not on

  • You’re sister in law sounds like “The One” for you

  • Your wife is probably fucking another guy on a regular basis.

    • I checked on that bro... Found nothing.. If she is really doing something like this she must be very clever... But without any proper proof I cannot leave her...

    • No, she just found out no one wanted her without sex so she came crawling back instead of being alone and homeless. He is being a fool again by taking her back.

  • Never happening and best to back off... you'll thank me for this.

    • Bro I can't. I know it might be the best decision to back off, but I really love her a lot. She is the only girl I have talked with, want to be with, and made love to...

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