Sexual Relationships
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Why are girls frowned upon for masturbating?

I don’t really get it, considering how it’s considered sexy when a grown woman does it. Masturbation is a natural thing that every child discovers once they reach or hit puberty, so I was always curious as to why parents were always harder on little girls for touching themselves than they are on little boys for doing it. I can speak for myself, because I recall being yelled at when my parents broke into my room without knocking and caught me masturbating for the first time (I was about 11-12 years old). My female friends had similar childhood experiences. Whereas my male friends always told me that whenever their mom caught them jerking off during their childhood/teen years, they’d just stare all awkwardly and then leave. Not yell at them as if they stole something. I don’t even get why I was yelled at, since they were the ones who decided enter my room without knocking on the door. 🤣🤣😭

Also, please don’t give me something like: “Because females are seen as pure, and masturbating is dirty.” First of all... masturbation is not dirty if you keep your genitals clean, it’s natural. Second, masturbating does not take away a girl’s purity. Having sex does, if you really want to go there. 😂

So I’m asking this, because I never really understood it. You can’t slut-shame someone for masturbating. So, why are girls chastized for masturbating yet boys aren’t? Both have raging hormones, especially in the teen years. If older people want to preach equality among the genders, then wouldn’t shaming your daughter for touching herself in the privacy of her own room and yet ignoring your son when he touches himself in the privacy of his own room be hypocritical?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • You know I grew up with nudiest for parents and we always had groups of friends that were like minded , and people are right nudiest is a life style not considered normal in some circles but our mom taught us how to masturbate and how to feel safe being sexually open and
    There was never rapes never anyones life ruined because of how were raised so to be sexually repressed is so forgiven to me.. Sex is such a pure activiy, no one ever feels abused are used its just natural. Life is so hard just to succeed I can't imagine when I need release sexually thinking masturbating is badd.

    • You have a good point. Some people say the origin of calling sex “impure” was about STDs, but you can’t get STDs from masturbating, so what’s so “sinful” about that? Also, you must’ve had some cool parents. My parents didn’t accept my sexuality until I turned 18.

    • We get tested every 3 months and it is away for the girls to have birth control pills checked and some of the mom's that are pregnant all there vitamins. Sex is very special and masturbation should never be shamed

    • Really you were taught how to get an orgasm? Kudos

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  • I was 17 when my mother, looking for something, walked into my room unexpectedly one night and caught me with my hand inside my panties. I immediately pretended I was scratching an itch, but my mother knew better. She found what she needed, and on her way out came up to me, gently placed her hand on my head, kissed my forehead, and whispered: "My darling girl has become a woman." "Don't tell Pa," I whispered back. "No, I won't," was her reassuring reply.
    That was the very first time my mother and I shared a sexual secret.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Many parents absorb the pain they suffered when they were children, and then release the same pain upon their own children. A cycle of painful ignorance and double standards is then born... This is why your parents acted in the way they did, but they did not know any better.

    • Probably. Not too many people are keen on breaking a cycle that they know is toxic.

  • I never thought that way. And obviously there's a HUGE industry for female-oriented sex toys, that absolutely dwarfs the male variety (how's that for inverted logic?).

    To me, it's normal for everyone to masturbate.

    • It is normal, and yeah but that’s for grown women. I suppose it is pretty ironic to sex-shame women if the sex toy industry relies on its female consumers for profits. People need to stop with the Puritan shit.

    • That's exactly the problem. The US was originally founded by religious extremists, and that legacy continues to influence us even today, though it's been SLOWLY fading.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 25

  • Oh, because women are sexually shamed for everything.

    • True that. It’s so stupid.

  • I don’t think that happens these days really, does it? Paragraph I think everyone knows that we like to enjoy ourselves as much as anybody else. It is just normal and natural.

  • Yo must be looking at me upside down since I'm thrilled that you masturbate. Any guy who tells you anything besides, wow, that eally turns me on is lying

    • Yeah, I get that. I’m referring to like, when I was a kid and my parents would barge into my room and catch me playing with myself and then act like that’s as bad as stealing something.

  • Well religions actually tend to have more issue with boys masturbation.

  • because you didn't tell anyone to come watch

    • Lolwut. But I was an adolescent.

    • and that's why the pedophiles are frowning

  • Who said it starts at puberty motherfucquuuuuzzz.

  • Wasn't aware this was still a thing.

    • Indeed it is.

  • in my world, they're not.

  • I think it's because everyone expects their girls to be prim and proper. it's an old fashioned stigma, and it's ignorant. It also makes kids think they're dirty and nasty and grow up with the feeling that intimacy is taboo or something.
    I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it's done privately... I wouldn't gripe at my kid if she was doing that.

    • Exactly, but a girl touching herself in her room is pretty private to me. Yet some parents feel the need to barge into their kid’s rooms without knocking and then have the nerve to get mad at the kid for what they see.

    • If I ever come in on my daughter, I will politely excuse myself, and explain to her later that it is perfectly fine and normal, but that she needs to always do that in the privacy of her room or bathroom. I don't have to worry about that right now, she's only 18 months. :)

    • Lmao, true. Wait until she’s like, 12 or 13.

  • Frowned upon really, everyone does it

  • well, you went through it, you know whats right. teach your kids the right way rather that what you went through. i'm not saying to advocate it for them, but you seem to agree that its natural so treat it as if it is.

    • True. If I have kids in the future, I would of course knock on the door before entering. I don’t understand parents who have the mindset: “You don’t pay the bills, so you don’t get privacy.”

    • been in that situation too, had that argument, still don't think it made a difference but I don't live at home anymore so it doesn't matter [shrug]

    • Well that’s good at least. Still though, they should at least know that barging into your kid’s room unannounced could potentially lead to you catching your kid masturbating.

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  • It’s all depends on the parents really , some are very easy going ( just saying it’s awkward ) doe are really strict about it (like yours ) so have you tried when your parents weren’t around?

    • Yep. That event caused me to only do it in the middle of the night, which is why I’m a night owl now.

  • It's not frowned upon, and when it is, it's not just girls.
    There are some who believe that it is great self-discipline to abstain from lustful acts, including sex and masturbation. These things have a time and a place, but not in the world of a child. But if you do it in privacy, nobody's gonna know. It's a non-issue, I think.

    • Are you sure? Because my room was pretty private, and yet they decided to barge on in anyway because I “don’t pay the bills”. Yet I got in trouble for what they decided to barge into.

  • Why don't you ask the people who chastised you?

    • I did. They just said: “Because you shouldn’t be doing that!” And when I asked why, their response was: “Because I said so!”

    • So your question is why are girls chastised and boys ignored, when they are caught. I'm not certain that you can make a blanket statement like that. It all depends on the parents, and probably the society you are raised in, maybe even religious beliefs. It sounds like you're headed for the idea that boys are expected to be unable to control themselves and have to masturbate, while girls are "expected" to control themselves, regardless of their raging hormones. Just another double standard. Welcome to adulthood.

  • They're not frowned upon

    • They are, by older generations.

    • So is constantly being on your phone... but you still do it

    • Well, they don’t treat me being on my phone as if that’s as bad as stealing something. Lol.

  • Whoever said that is a loser...

  • Yet to this day. I still don't understand it. What is so shameful about?

    • I don’t get it either, Itachi. Lol.

    • Yeah. I was at first shameful about it. But I glad I discovered it because it sure help me since I'm celibate and saving myself for marriage. Yeah Im a Itachi fan. Got to love the dude

    • He is pretty cool, isn’t he? Also yeah, masturbation helps relieve stress when you don’t have a sexual partner. I don’t get why some people, especially older people, try to demonize it as a bad thing. You aren’t harming anybody by touching yourself in privacy.

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  • Because humans tend to be pretty stupid.

    • True. How is something that is not harming anyone else “shameful”?

  • Maybe it was just your parents way of reacting? I'm sure when they caught you they were probably shocked and didn't know what to do. Some people anger is a natural defense when in a scary or uncomfortable situation.
    I remember having both scenarios, but normally mum would just sort of freak out in embarrassment lol (their fault for demanding I keep my door open I guess) 🤷‍♂️

    • Maybe, but my female friends’ parents had similar reactions when they caught them doing it.

    • Hmmm maybe it's because guys are seen as having a much higher sex drive so it's more seen as normal for guys to masturbate. The truth is it's normal for everyone to masturbate lol

  • If they oppose girls masturbating, they were probably punished themselves. If I had a daughter, I'd teach her to masturbate until she finds the one.

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