Sexual Relationships
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Why are guys afraid to girls know they have a boner?

I have been in this situation so many times, and it's frustrating. I will be cuddling with a guy, and he'll get an erection and then move away. Usually it'll happen while spooning, so they'll just have their chest against my back and then the rest of them awkwardly far away. It's really disconcerting. When I was younger I used to worry that the guy I was snuggling up to just wasn't into me and didn't want to be close to me, but now it's just irritating. Once I was even making out with a guy and it happened! I was laying on my back and he was kind of on top of me. His legs were between mine, but he made sure his hips were well below mine and pressed up against the bed so I wouldn't notice he was hard, which made it really awkward for him to kiss me. We were in my bed, making out, and he didn't want me to know he was hard? Eventually I got annoyed and grabbed him by his collar and dragged him up and then he got really embarrassed when I asked him if he was trying to hide that he was hard, though he did admit to it.

I just don't get it. I actually really enjoy when I guy is hard and pressed up against me! It's hot. Its one of the best parts of cuddling or making out! Even if I'm not in the mood for more at that moment, I still enjoy it. I've even told past boyfriends this and they still act all weird and awkward about it?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, how would u feel if you were cuddling with a guy and your books suddenly grew twice their size? It's kind of embarrassing. Like, this body part REALLY likes you, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's like you're blushing, and she knows you're blushing. And that just makes it worse.
    If it happens again, just pet it. Tell him it's ok, I like you too.

    • 'just pet it' That made giggle. Was not expecting that. That is amazing advice. I'm 100% doing that.

  • Until he knows it is okay, and even desired, he will be afraid you may have a negative reaction. Instead of trapping him by the collar and pulling him up, grab him by the cock and pull him up. Not only have you made it clear you want it close to you, you have also initiate touch and moved th nags along.

    • Thank you for MHGuy. 😀

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 16

  • I could understand a friend trying to hide it or a guy who you haven't been sexual with yet, but a grown man who's your boyfriend has no reason to try and hide it, unless he's just sexually awkward and insecure.

  • I don't get that either. ESPECIALLY when the two of you are already cuddling

    • Well I I know for me it can be awkward and depending on what I Am wearing uncomfortable.

  • If he's our age... there's your answer lol

    Younger guys tend to be easily embarrassed or simply dont have the experience to know whats okay and what isnt!

    • It's not only about the age. There are a lot of things like if the couple are new together. A guy having a boner during a hug or cuddle might make him feel insecure about how the girl might take it. He might not understand what is going in the girl's head but he would surely be afraid if he is giving the wrong signal or taking the hug in the wrong way.

    • @wubbalubba_dubdub which i believe was covered in lacking experience.

    • Yup! But look at this on the other side. He is 27 now, he has been with the same girl since 19, he had a break up when he was 26, he moved on to a new relationship which would suggest he is still back to square one. That wouldn't mean he did not have sex or skills in the last 10 years. Just that he is with a new woman now and would take time to get into the comfort zone!

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  • @Lauralaw

    Why are guys afraid to girls know they have a boner?

  • In general some men get embarrassed when they get an erection because society tells us it is shameful if a man gets an erection in public or too easily because it makes it seem like he is inexperienced or a virgin or a pervert so sometimes if a man gets an erection anytime except in private it can be emasculating for him because society doesn't view male arousal as positive as they do female arousal. So some of it is cultural. That being said the men you have been with were probably just really shy or nervous and I'm sorry you had to deal with that because that just seems stupid if you were giving them all the right signals and they still seemed shy. I personally would not be like that and in my experience most women have enjoyed seeing me hard in the right time and place. I guess you can always go out of your way to make them feel more comfortable next time but in my opinion a real man wouldn't be worried about such a thing

  • I don't remember ever feeling embarrassed about that because with my earliest sex I was so programmed just to get it in her and that was all I wanted at the time.

  • i never mind any woman knowing when i have an erection

  • What an erotic story, can a guy apply to cast this role 😄

  • I know for me if I get hard just cuddling next to a girl it says a lot that I'm into her but it also can make us feel like oh shit I'm hard just laying next to her don't want her thinking that's all I think of or want

  • Guy prefer to hide their real feelings behind a tough mask, so they get nervous when their body does it's own thing.

  • I don't see why a guy would be embarrassed about it if he's cuddling in a girl's bed or making out.
    The only times I was ever embarrassed by it was when I was going through the phase of random erections. Sometimes it would happen because I could smell the perfume of my crush.

  • that is very strange. I’d be pushing mine hard against you even if we had no intention to go further

  • I don't know what kind of boyfriends you had in past and present. If you consider me, when I have a boner I try to touch it to girls body so that she also enjoys and get excited with the situation.
    I love when girl hold my hard boner from my pants.

  • I don't know i can't hide that damned thing haha

  • Personally, I'm afraid that she thinks I'm a perv (when she's just a friend) ..

  • Society teaches us this, to be ashamed and hide it... it's "wrong" and "offensive". Society's view really need to change on the human body.

  • He probably afraid he’ll scare you away.

  • I am not.

  • It can kind of send the wrong message... if you know what I mean.

  • Almost all of my (previous) partners so far have acted exactly like you described until we've actually done something sexual. My boyfriend now told me he was embarrassed? What? 😂
    For me, a boner is the most honest compliment a man can give you. at least if the situation is appropriate...

    • what's the compliment or benefit from a boner?

    • @mohamedivv It's hot. It means he wants you, or at least part of him does. I mean sure you can't always assume if a guys hard then it's because of you, sometimes they do happen randomly and whatnot, but it's still hot either way.

    • I have been with a couple women that were unattractive and I would get extremely hard very fast with one (really unattractive) and I believe it was her scent or pheromones or that she had red hair. Is that a compliment to her or is it just raw nature at work? Anyways it was just an experience that I always wondered about.

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