I gave him a blowjob on the first date?

[Anonymous]

Know that I don’t go around doing this all the time.

I met up with him after he finished work on a Saturday night, we went for a few drinks, but I’d already had a couple before. He then suggested we go back to either mine or his, and I agreed to let him come back to mine.

When we got back, we were kissing in my bed, but he got an erection so he took off his pants and I touched it. He then started to touch my body, and I sucked his dick a little. He was heavy breathing. I jokingly asked him if he was a virgin, which he laughed and replied with “no but you’re making me feel like one” and told me the last girl he’d slept with was his ex nearly a year before. He then wanted to have sex, I said no, and he continued to touch me, I think to try and make me change my mind, but I didn’t. The next morning he also tried for sex but I said no again. When he left he apologised for being persistent, said that he just got too excited but that he hopes I still want to see him again.

He seems to be a very cute, slightly nerdy, sweet and sensible kind of guy. Since that night, we’ve met up twice, the second one being with me and my friend at a bar (where I had also had too much to drink), and the third time we went for dinner and then to the cinema. He’s asked me if I’d like to go to the cinema tomorrow as well, to watch a movie we both want to see.

He seems interested, we text every day and he never says dirty things. As I said, so far he seems like a very sweet “nice” kind of guy. However I’m just embarassed about my behaviour the first 2 times seeing him! Both drunken times! Do you think this has somehow made him think I am an alcoholic slut? The first time meeting was the only time we did anything sexual. I’m just so confused :/ he seems interested, but due to past dickheads I’m worried that maybe he just wants sex or something? He doesn’t seem to just want that… but obviously he must like it because he did want to when we first met.

What are your thoughts on the situation?

[pumaOH24]

You should be able to tell after a few more dates what his intentions are. If he’s still want to be with you after then, then he wants more from you than just sex. It sounds like it’s off to a good start.
I would imagine that he’s hoping to eventually get sex and probably more bjs from you too... especially when you haven’t been drinking... unless that’s the only time you give them. Hopefully, he doesn’t expect sex every time you’ve had a few drinks.

[Just_A_Guy2018]

So because you where drinking that means that you are not accountable for your actions and behavior, but since the same does not apply to men, he can now be charged with rape...

[Asker]

No, he’d had a few drinks too so he wasn’t completely sober

[Asker]

I’m pretty sure that only applies if the woman is intoxicated and the man is stone cold sober

[Just_A_Guy2018]

nope, he can be under the influence. Don't you know the narrative. Men bad, women victims.

[Asker]

Well I didn’t feel violated 🙄

[deshawn78]

did he cum?

[Ibeji]

Considering the fact that you weren’t sober, I don’t think he considers it to be an accurate representation of who you are as a person. Especially since he’s suggesting nonsexual activities that you’re both interested in. It’s normal to feel embarrassed, but I don’t think this guy has ulterior motives based on how you describe him.

[kittycat119]

So you're worried he wants just sex when you're the one who took his dick out the first date and sucked it and made him think that's what you wanted?

[Asker]

As I mentioned, we had both been drinking, and it was more of a mutual thing. It’s not like I pounced on him and ripped his trousers off.

[kittycat119]

Yeah, Just cause he got an erection and moaned when you out it n your mouth doesn't mean you didn't instigate the blowjob and make him think sex was on the table. And drinking isn't an excuse

[Tdieseler]

right? right? can you see the craziness guys have to deal with with women... they start shit, then wonder who started it because they had a change of mind... right?

[kittycat119]

@Tdieseler people should be allowed to change their minds. Not gonna lie I've done that. But she's getting upset thinking he just wants to fuck when she's the one who made it seem like that was on for him to think when he never even asked for head she just did it

[Asker]

“Isn’t an excuse” haha. Sorry, I didn’t realise I did something terrible. Why are you trying to make me feel bad, I’m trying to ask people’s advice on whether he is likely to want more than sex based on the behaviour he has shown since the date. The question wasn’t “did I instigate the blowjob I gave last Saturday?”

[kittycat119]

You didn't do anything bad. You're allowed to do whatever the hell you want on a date. But it's stuoid to do something then wonder if the guy is just using you for sex when you're the one who put sex out there super fast and made him think you wanted it

[Asker]

I’m not upset, I’m just asking if he is likely to want more than sex after what happened between us.

[kittycat119]

Probably but if he does it's your fault

[Tdieseler]

@Asker speaking from a guy point of view... you did instigate. i mean, you invited him back to your place, and you weren't kissing on the couch, you were in your BED... THEN you sucked his dick... its like putting all the ingredients in a pot and saying its not a meal because you didn't light the fire. you gave every sign... if i were him, i'd think you were a retard and you'd never hear from me again

[Asker]

Okay, well whether I instigated or not, I’m not *complaining* that he might only want me for sex now. I’m just asking, based on the way he’s now acting and how he still wants to meet up, if he appears to want more than that?

[Asker]

Also my parents were home so we had to go to my room, that’s why we were in bed

[kittycat119]

So you're an adult hooking up at your parents house?

[TrixiePooch]

And they had no clue what girls and boys do in bedrooms? LOL

[Asker]

Hi, just logged in to my GaG account after a long time. Looking at this old question I asked, I can gather that you were an arrogant dickhead. How dare you judge people this way, you had absolutely no idea about who I was or how I was as a person, yet you acted like I was some kind of slut for 'hooking up at my parents house'. I used to live at my parents for financial reasons, and I would of course pay rent. Their house is very big, and I lived in a bedroom which was on the other side of the house so what I chose to do was my business and they would often remind me that this was the case. I've now been in a relationship with the guy in question for over 5 years and we currently live together. I hope by now you have removed your head from your asshole and you're no longer such a judgmental person. :) Have a nice life!

[Demyn]

You gave someone a blowjob. Ok? Loads of people have given blowjobs, even without it being a date. Not a big deal.

[Asker]

But is it not a bad thing to engage in anything sexual on a first date? I just thought that maybe it can make people see you differently

[Tdieseler]

even without it being a date... lol... that made me smile for some reason.

[Demyn]

Not really. The second time I met up with someone casually, I ended up giving them a blowjob. Not a big deal.

[Warmapplecrumble]

I wish I had sex with my husband the first day I met him. Lol.

[Tdieseler]

Seems like you are the one who wanted sex. im just surprised you didn't go the full way. The way i see it... you are just a cock tease... thats even worse.

[Mua_deej]

If he just wanted you for sex, He probably would have given up after that many dates and no sex. I doubt he thinks you're a slut. Since You haven't had sex with him

[Carley99]

It's fine hun besides you turned down so many times he doesn't view you in a bad way or only wants sex.

[deshawn78]

@Carley99 have you ever done something like this?

[Carley99]

No I haven't

[deshawn78]

ever had one in your mouth?

[Didja_Like_That]

Every guy is different. But you're fine about the whole sexual encounter.

[BigRob420]

Give him a bj and go from there.

[Julietchicago]

You shouldn’t do anything sexual with a guy on a first date. Sex is the most valuable thing you can give a guy, including bjs, make him work for it. Also, you can catch a disease by giving a bj.
I don’t think he sees you as a slut, but he could be playing nice guy till he gets sex from you. It’s hard to say

[winterfox10]

Nah, you're fantastic in his eyes! Just watch the booze on future dates, so that it doesn't start becoming a pattern.

[Mazerock]

He seems like a great guy. If all he was interested in was sex then after you refused to give in the first few times he would have moved on. Just talk to him and tell him that you really like him and want to date him and your sorry about how you acted the first date and that isn't how you normally behave. I'm sure he will understand and be fine with it!

[Hannajenky]

Follow your heart

[vald9inches]

lucky guy!