Sexual Relationships
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I am remaining single and a virgin because of my body. Why is this seen as a bad thing?

Close friends asked me why I’ve decided to stay single and a virgin, I finally told them it’s because of my body. I didn’t go into detail, but they all felt sorry for me which I thought was strange. I think it’s a courageous decision to be that self aware. I know I have an unattractive body and that’s okay! Let’s be honest, this is a list of what’s wrong with me. Before you say you will find a guy, I’m not stupid, I know what men are attracted to. I have broad shoulders that stick out more than my hips and thighs (who wants to have a sex with a girl that has a masculine body shape?), I have multiple stretch marks on my inner upper arms, my nipples are at the end of my boobs vs the center, my boobs have 14-15 light and obvious stretch marks, my boobs sag, I have stretch marks across my stomach, I have a dark line on the center of my stomach, I have love handles that stick out more than my hips which makes me look more masculine, my butt is on the flat side, my vagina, inner butt and inner thighs are significantly darker than my skin tone, I have large hands, large feet and strawberry skin on my boobs and legs. Now let’s be honest, who would want to be with someone who has a body like this, when 98% of women don’t look like me? Watching amateur porn with normal women and just looking at women in general in public made me realize that my body is abnormal. It’s selfish for me to hold a guy back from someone who has a better body and personality, even IF a guy were to like me. It’s not that I want to be single forever, but I know it’s a smart decision. 😊

Why is this seen as a bad thing when I’m not sad about it?
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Oh boy, where to start...

    Well, first off, is it a smart decision to hold yourself back from someone actually loving you? Do you not deserve to be loved as a woman too? I would say yes. Yes you do. If you deem yourself to be "lesser" than 98% of women on earth, you will never allow yourself to be loved by anyone. Which is sad. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE deserves to be loved not only by someone else... but by themselves. Completely and entirely.

    You are not a monster. You are not "lesser" than 98% of women. You are YOU and you deserve to be loved. Not "in spite" of the perceived flaws you believe you have, but because we are NOT just a culmination of perceived flaws. We are PEOPLE. On the INSIDE as well. There are two sides to attraction. Physical, and who we are inside. No matter what anyone looks like, love of vanity without love of inner beauty is empty as hell anyway. It is WHO YOU ARE as a woman that matters. Never let ANYONE or any part of our harsh culture tell you are less than anyone else. Because you are not.

    I could go on to encourage you and your self-worth as a woman in spite of everything you have said about yourself, but I fear it may all be for naught. My advice for you is, over time, to try to learn how to love yourself enough to be loved by you, as well as someone else. Their love and attraction to you is not about someone else. If they thought they should be with someone "more attractive" (whatever the hell that is for any given person), then they would! They would not chose you. But don't just assume that.

    By saying "you know what guys like" you think you have us figured out, but I assure you, you don't. You're wrong. Put yourself out there and you'll be surprised at how so many of those things you said about yourself, most guys don't even care about anyway. Perspective is a hard thing to look beyond. Oftentimes the things we think about ourselves that we think turns off the other sex, doesn't.

    "We are our own worst critic."

    ^That saying is almost clichéd by now, but no truer words have been uttered. We are oftentimes our own worst enemies when it comes to our own self-esteem.

    Learn to love your body and then none of this will matter anymore. And if you open up enough to allow a guy into your life and he loves you, all of this will no longer matter either because he loves you for who you are - as well as your body - and none of this will matter because you allowed love into your life. Never deprive yourself of what you deserve.

    • Just as a side note, for your consideration, please read these two posts (you'll have to look for my posts within each link). The first link was my first post here on GAG, but the second one in particular may be of interest to you.

      And for the love of yourself, please don't go comparing yourself to the woman in the first link. It's also worth noting that if you get to know me, I actually have a VERY wide range of women that I am attracted to, so I actually don't have a specific body type/body part "preference" at all. If you've seen my posts, you'd know, so please don't assume anything or compare yourself to her or what I may. After all, assumptions are just a reflection of our own insecurities. 😉

      With that said, please have a read:

      I'm sorry to be asking that but are my stretch marks very noticeable? ↗

      Is it true, if you lose weight your boobs get smaller and your stretch marks go away/fade? ↗

    • *to her or to what I may have to say about any given person Don't know why that got cut out.

  • Can I ask you some rather personal questions? I don't think you'll mind but it always better to ask. You're very self-aware maybe too much so. They see it as a bad thing because they don't think you know what you're missing. In their defense how could you know you wouldn't like sex?

    • I know I would but I don’t have the body for it. If I had a better body, I would have sex.

    • Okay then have sex. I'm not going to say you'll find someone who wants to spend their live with you. But you can definitely find someone who would love to fuck. I'm not conventionally attractive either I still fuck frequently lol. I've even been lucky enough to find women I consider beautiful who find something about me irresistible.

Most Helpful Girl

  • As far as sex, it's your body and your choice. But, I do hope you see yourself in a better light. I've seen girls with bodies similar to yours have awesome sex and fulfilling relationships.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3

  • It is not a good or bad thing. You get to decide what you want to do as far as sex. Others should mind their own business. The body is just a shell that we fit in, it is the person inside it that counts!

  • It's your decision. However, your partner should find all of those thing beautiful if they truly cared about you.

  • It’s not bad at all

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