Boyfriend Can't Stay Hard or Cum While Having Sex With Me?

Question

We have always had great sex. I can say, hands down, he is the best I've ever had. Before him I have never orgasmed during sex and although I don't everytime we do have sex, it has been more frequent. BUT lately (as in the last 2 months or so) he can't stay hard or cum while he's inside of me.

I usually end up having to give him a blow job or hand job to get him off.

I have talked to him about it and he says he is attracted to me and I know he is. He told me that sometimes he's just so stressed he can't perform. But... how can he stay hard and come when I give him a bj or hj?

He's not that active, he doesn't eat super healthy, he is a little bit overweight and he's 36, but he doesn't smoke or drink, and he does have a high sex drive. But all these things were true 3 months ago as well and then he could perform just fine, so I don't understand.

It's really affecting our sex life. Lately when he wants to have sex, I don't even feel up to it anymore. I'm too afraid that we'll be half way through and he'll go limp and I'll have to suck him off or jerk him off or something. I usually don't mind, but I just want to have sex and feel good and have him inside me until he comes, instead of having to stop a few minutes in, half satisfied and having to sit there and suck him until he comes.

What can I do? What can he do?

_dardorsama_ · Accepted Answer

That's totally normal and it happened to all of us

Sometimes we're just to stressed to maintain our erection for a long period of time and would go soft in the middle of sex session

And if you're wondering why would he start having an erection afterwards from a hand job or a blow job it's because the sensation is different and the penis is receiving a heavy stimulation with us doing anything with is perfect in that sort of setuation so we don't suffer the blue balls afterwards

Look this setuation is only temporary and he well regain his full potential over time but you must endure it and make him feel it's totally normal and you enjoy finishing him off

Otherwise it he might feel bad about himself and think of himself less than a man and would take him longer time to recover

In the meantime make sure he eats right but healthy and get plenty of rest and stay hydrated

markscott · Accepted Answer

It might help if he stopped watching porn. Porn is unrealistic, and if a guy trains himself, by repeated watching of porn, to expect what happens in porn, it can decrease his sexual excitement with real sex, and a real woman. It's a little like buying narcotics from a drug dealer, and taking large amounts of narcotics. The addict is then unable to respond normally, to normal amounts of narcotics that a doctor might prescribe. Also, he is getting a little older, and heavier, and not eating well, and apparently not taking good care of his body, and this can reduce sexual performance and ability to cum. As well, you might experiment with different positions, to find ones that give him more stimulation, compared to others. For example, often, doggy style gives more stimulation than does some other positions.

Jenny4455 · Accepted Answer

Weight gain could be part of the issue. Does he watch porn? This can happen quite often to guys who watch a lot of porn especially if it's more extreme stuff

gio_isaac · Answer

He could be watching too much porn. That's usually when we get into limp mode. As embarrassing as it is to say, I have experienced it.

drdidier2 · Answer

If you are close enough, suggest visiting a sexologist together. Even though we want to be helpful here, s/he will be much more helpful. I can't even understand whether it's more his physiology or psychology that makes the problem.

lillz10 · Answer

Ask him to cut down the porn

IainG81 · Answer

Think it's probably nerves he's building it up as a problem in his mind. Trying hard to make it happen which only makes it less likely the only way to help is for him to relax and just enjoy it.