How can I tell my SO that I am not sexually satisfied without her feeling very bad?

I feel lately I am putting more effort than her.
She can easily get turned on by me, for me it s harder. So I feel she s not up for it anymore 🤷🏿‍♀️
Maybe she thinks I am still not comfortable for her to get sexually with me I dunno. I just feel weird to ask for It, I want her to want to do that on me if I am shy.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Ok. So it is harder for you to get turned on. How much harder is her work to get you to the same place she gets too easily?

    The bigger question is... are you giving her input to help her get you there or are you jus sitting back and letting her guess how to get you going?

    How can she deliver on what you want if you won't communicate and ask for what you want and tell her also how to best do "her job" to satisfy you. I though girls would also understand their lover's aren't mind readers.

    If you are communicating your wants, needs and technique preferences and she isn't getting the job done then what is she doing different than you requested?

    You said you are putting in more effort lately, did she put in satisfying effort previously?

    I'm saying this with no bad intention... but... if you don't communicate with your partner what your needs are then you deserve what you get.

    I am constantly asking for feedback on my partner's needs.

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    • 5d

      No no worries I am not offended at all.
      Thing is she s my first, so be never been sexual with someone before but she was so she s more aware than me. And I am more if a bottom and she s more of a top. But lately she s asking me to go down on her several times and so get her there but she barely tries to go down on me. I still never got really turned on with her to actually cum. And I guess the issue with me is because it s mental and I overthink. So I like things to go slowly for me to ease up to it and get turned on in order to get there. But she just kisses me a bit and ask me to go down on her several times then she tries a bit with me and stops.
      I tell her a bit what I like bit I think I need to be more articulate about it but I am scared to offend her.

    • 5d

      Ok wow. I never thought a girl would be so clueless about satisfying her lover (I'm talking about her, not you). Especially since she is the experienced one. Sometimes their experience really isn't that much. I don't think she is as experienced as you think she is.

      Ok, you shouldn't have to tell her she needs to spend more time down there. I don't quit till she's satisfied and I don't just do it for a while and think, that should be good enough. If she doesn't get off, my job isn't done. If you aren't pretending to be satisfied then she isn't a very thoughtful lover. Yes I've been with plenty of girls who have mental blocks to orgasm, especially through oral, even though oral is the best way. You need to tell her she isn't getting the job done. Can't believe a girl can be this clueless with another girl.

      When I go down on a girl I assume she has a mental block and I know a good amount of my time down there is just to be there a while and to let her relax and not overthink things...

    • 5d

      and the oral doesn't really begin until I sense we are past her mental blocks and are now finally building her to orgasm.

      With what little time she is down there, is she any good if she did it longer?

      I can't believe she isn't making sure you orgasm and isn't asking if you are. That is oral sex 101. You shouldn't have to tell her that.

      But ok, so she doesn't check to see if you are satisfied but if you tell her and she still doesn't deliver than she's a tool.

      A girl on a girl and she doesn't really make sure to satisfy, what a waste.

  • It's alright to ask your partner about your sexual needs. Some might take it in a bad way and it's fine too, just talk and tell her how much you would appreciate it because she is the only one you want to do it with. Just talk and ask her, it won't be a huge problem. Ask her if she want you to do other things, it's about giving and taking at the same time.

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  • Don't say that you are not satisfied, say that you see an oppurtunity for you both to be more satisfied with a little change. #BusinessTalk

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  • Simple

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  • Ya it’s easy for her huh.. lol, Ya I bet it is...😂

    Just tell her casually
    If it doesn’t come out in a serious tone she won’t feel alarmed about it. Just talk about it casually as if you are working with her not against her

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  • Sounds like there a lot of barriers there. You just need to talk about it and be honest with yourself about whether she does it for you.

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  • Never be shy to tell your sexual needs or wants to your partner

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  • You've been having this issue of unequal interest for as long as I can remember...

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  • Why not leave it a bit longer than your normally would. Let the sexual frustration build a little

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  • Haha.. The fear of motivating a girl..
    You feel it..
    Another huge difficulty men face

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  • Dump the bitch, and pump another bitch.

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  • Next time you 2 have sex show her how you like it

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  • Maybe you should try dick... just sayin

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  • Just show ut on her on bed

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