I don't like doggy style?

[shootingstar112]

I think there's something wrong with me. I don't like the doggy style position because it doesn't have any closeness or intimacy. It doesn't feel pleasurable to me because I need clitoral stimulation. And it tends to hurt easily in this position. Also, my ex raped me in this position. He pressured me to do it all the time when I don't like it for the reasons I just said, and then once he did it even though I didn't want to and I told him I was in a lot of pain and he didn't stop. It was horrible. I didn't like the position before this experience. I feel like there's something wrong with me. Do any other women not like it? And is it a problem for guys that I don't think I can ever do it again?

[ChetAtkins]

I feel sad for you. But if you don't like that position, then why are you asking if you're wrong for feeling that way? How could you possibly be wrong about the way you feel?
I was married to a rape victim, so I get it. It's a fucking train wreck. But your question seemed to focus on the sexual position, and Chocolate was trying to give you some advice. I get that it was a misunderstanding, but she really is a good person.
Are you wrong for not liking that? NO! Is it going to haunt you later? YES.
You're going to have your work cut out for you in explaining that to guys in your future, in such a way that doesn't make them feel like they're monsters for wanting that. The ball's in your court. Just have good communication skills and he'll understand.

[shootingstar112]

Chocolate told someone who was rapped in the doggy style position that they should try it with their head on the pillow. Stupid! I mean, I don't want to make anyone feel like a monster. But my ex raped me in that position and besides that I was pressured to do it all the time. So if a guy asked me to do it again I would be depressed and not want to have sex at all.

[ChetAtkins]

I hate to be critical of other people's questions, because I know what it's like to have your question picked apart. I've asked a simple pole question with two options, and stupid people can't figure it out. But this is where I think your question jumped the track. You talked about doggy being painful. So that was what she was focusing on. You should of focused more on your trust issues, and left the pain part out. She would have either avoided your question or given you different advice. I know what this is like. I've been there. It's a living hell. The rapist didn't just rape you, he raped every relationship you will ever have. You are already experiencing this, so you know what I mean. I hope he rots in hell.

[shootingstar112]

You hope he rots in hell, and yet if you were my boyfriend would you expect doggy style and ask me repeatedly to do it? Isn't that what guys do?

[ChetAtkins]

You're confusing me with your dumb-shit boyfriend.

[shootingstar112]

All my boyfriends pressured me into doing this

[ChetAtkins]

Then explain to them what happened to you. If they don't get it, then they're as dumb as a box if rocks.

[shootingstar112]

So you would be okay being with a woman who wouldn't do anal or doggy? Would other men be okay with it?

[ChetAtkins]

Men aren't nearly as complicated as women.
If he wants pizza, and you make a counter-off of tacos...
He'll be all over it like a chicken on a June bug.


Stop worrying. You're your own worst enemy.

[shootingstar112]

thanks

[Losalt]

Doggy is among the most popular positions for men.
That doesn't mean that you *have* to do it though.
While I'm sure there's *some* men out there that don't want a girlfriend that don't do doggy you can probably make up for that in other ways with most guys.

I'm sorry you had that experience.
I hope you'll change your mind some day though as it genuinly can be quite a nice experience for you girls too.

[shootingstar112]

I don't see how it is nice ever. It doesn't feel good, there's a complete lack of connection, it hurts. Its a position for men.

[shootingstar112]

Your response was good except for i hope you'll change your mind. That's not the focus now. I'm not interested in deciding to start doing it. It was never good for me and even worse after I was raped. I hope I can have a normal relationship, not necessarily do this

[Losalt]

No, it's *not* a "position for men". A lot of women genuinly enjoy it. After all, mammal sex evolved with that position to start with... As for the connection, well there being a connection or not depends a lot on your mindset while having it. And I hope you'll change your mind because you're losing out on the positive aspects of it. But I fully understand *why* you don't feel like trying it out again anytime soon. And like I mentioned, you can make up for it. I suggest looking into pompoir and kabazzah. And ok, doggy isn't your thing, but what about spooning, is that ok for you? As for your rape, yes, it's clearly a bad experience and I'm very sorry that you had to experience that. That said, you still *choose* how you think about it to some degree even if it might not feel like you do. It takes a lot of effort as you have to overcome long throdden pathways in your brain to do so. But neuroplasticity is a thing.

[shootingstar112]

'Mammal sex evolved with that position' First of all, not all mammals have sex in this position. Dolphins do not. And in many ways humans are more similar to dolphins because were are straight, not on all 4's. Secondly animal sex is about reproduction, not pleasure. It is often rape. If female mammals did enjoy sex, it would not be in doggy style, thats for sure. I don't have an interest in changing my brain to be into this position. I never was into it even before I was raped

[shootingstar112]

Also, most importantly. Humans aren't animals. If we were, it wouldn't matter that I was raped. Most animals don't have sex because they love each other and its often not consentual.

[Losalt]

"'Mammal sex evolved with that position' First of all, not all mammals have sex in this position. Dolphins do not. And in many ways humans are more similar to dolphins because were are straight, not on all 4's." True, but dolpins have had way, way, way, way more time to evolve to sex that doesn't involve four legs then we have. The ancestors of Dolphins left the sea between 50 and 60 million years ago. *Our* ancestors didn't become bipedal till 7 million years ago at the *earliest* assuming that Sahelanthropus was bipedal and assuming it was walking and assuming that we're related to it in the first place... We don't have 100% *confirmed* bipedalism till 4 million years ago. So, 4 million years vs 60 million years... Yeah, I don't think comparing us to dolphins is accurate here... "Secondly animal sex is about reproduction, not pleasure. It is often rape. If female mammals did enjoy sex, it would not be in doggy style, thats for sure." Humans *are* animals. Our sex is also about reproduction. That said both among humans and among many other mammal species a female can and *will* turn down males quite often. In many cases for instance just walking away from a male they're not interested in having sex with. And trust me, they *do* enjoy it every bit as the males do, but only when they're in heat, while we like the bonobos have evolved to use sex as a social glue on top of just reproduction. "I don't have an interest in changing my brain to be into this position. I never was into it even before I was raped" Fair enough, that's your right of course. I'm just saying that it's your loss.

[Losalt]

"Also, most importantly. Humans aren't animals. If we were, it wouldn't matter that I was raped. Most animals don't have sex because they love each other and its often not consentual. " Of course we are. The difference between us and other species of animals isn't bigger then the difference between other animal species. The only reason we walk around with the illusion of uniqueness is that our closest relatives all died out while other species that we study generally speaking have several related species still living. As for animals and love. Kind of hard for us to say *anything* about that since we can't communicate with animals and therefore can't study their feelings and thoughts. As for how prevalent consent is... Depends on the species and the enviroment, culture etc. For instance chameleons are generally quite loving suitors and wouldn't dream of nonconsensual sex, but chameleons that live in the desert tend to do non-consensual sex because they're so rare that they can't afford the risk him her turning him down.

[Anonymous]

Just preference I guess, but I get that it's annoying as hell. Every guy that fucks me wants to start banging from behind as soon as they can. And I notice from their behavior that that is what they've been waiting for all night. They lose control, start slapping, grunt a lot louder and usually cum in that position. I think my entire sex life exists of 50% doggy, 30% blowjobs and 20% for all the rest. That might say more about me and the guys I have sex with, but still.

[shootingstar112]

Right, the difference between me and you is you allow yourself to be treated like a toy. Sorry.

[Opinion Owner]

why do you think I let myself get treated as a toy?

[MlleCake]

That doesn't mean something is wrong with you. You just like what you like, and don't like what you don't like. It's your body and you get to decide.

[partydelights]

You're a depressed and angry girl. I feel your pain.

But I truly hope that you can learn to survive the rape.

Do it not just for yourself but for your future husband.

Doggy style is not something fetish or taboo. It's a natural sex position and could be very intimate.

I can't offer much advice, but I like to suggest, choose vulnerability. This can come from a man you can trust. Seek such a man out and work with him to free your mind of the past.

Doggy style can give you man a lot of pleasure. So learn to enjoy it not just for yourself but for your man.

You will then find sex and relationships more fulfilling.

[AustinMan]

Clearly you and doggy are a bit estranged. I can only tell you my perspective while being as respectful as possible. i am genuinely sorry for what happened to you.

For me doggy is about a number of things.
1) I'm an inveterate bubble butt man and I love to look at hers. Doggy is the best position for that. I have found that if I vary the angle as I thrust, I can stimulate her clit and hit her G-Spot, much to her delight.
2) I'm a very dominant, somewhat aggressive lover which my ladies love, Doggy is a very dominant position for him and a very submissive position for her and a lot of hers love that about it.
3) I have a bit of a sadistic side sexually.. One of my favorite forms of foreplay is spanking and using my magic fingers on her while she's over my knee.
4) Finally, I am a huge fan of anal sex. Doggy readily facilitates that.

Questions?

[shootingstar112]

I couldn't care less about your dominant aggressive lacking in intimacy sexual desires. You didn't even answer my question.

[AustinMan]

I did answer your question. The women I'm with love it. They like the deeper penetration etc. It would depend on the guy if he could give up doggy.

[shootingstar112]

Great, thanks for confirming that I'm not normal. I hate myself enoigh.

[Scaramanga]

Why should there be anything wrong with you for not enjoying a particular sex position? We all have preferences.

[shootingstar112]

Because the guys I've been with tell me all other girls like it, but to me I feel no pleasure and I don't like not feeling close to someone when I'm having sex with them. Especially after I was raped doing doggy style.

[Scaramanga]

Understandable. People are different. "All other girls like it" is not a good reason why you should. That's kind of like saying "all other girls like pineapple on their pizzas, so..." You're different. That's fine. I doubt you're the only one, anyway.

[shootingstar112]

So do you think all other girls like it? How come it feels good to other girls if it doesn't touch your clit, it pokes your cervix, and its not intimate at all? I really feel bad about myself and not normal.

[Scaramanga]

No, I don't think that. Yes, I have heard many women say they liked doggy, or that it was their preferred position. But not all women. Bodies vary. You apparently don't enjoy doggystyle. That's fine. There are other women like you out there for who intimacy is very important. Then there are women who want it hard. That stuff varies.

[shootingstar112]

He should have raped the women who want it hard, not me. They would have been fine with it apparently.

[Scaramanga]

I think wanting it hard is different from wanting it unconsensual.

[shootingstar112]

If anyone ever did it to me 'hard' it would be consensual because I wouldn't agree to that. Which did happen to me. So apparently women consent to things that to me I would never consent to.

[shootingstar112]

woudn't be

[Scaramanga]

Sure. People consent to very different things. I mean, some guys specifically request needles be put through their penis head. I'm not sure I know why. But people have different kinks. I'm sorry you were raped. That is terrible.

[shootingstar112]

If a girl doesn't like doggy style, maybe she's just going to get raped at some point unless she's lucky and ends up with one respectful guy her whole life. I think a lot of guys want it so much to the point they do it when the girl doesn't want it. Thats my exes made me feel

[Scaramanga]

I hope that is not the case. I would like to think it isn't. I think it depends on what types of guys you date. But sure, there are bad dudes in the world.

[shootingstar112]

I hope so too

[Scaramanga]

Don't let people push you around. If not for your sake, then for theirs. If you stop them pushing you around, you're kind of helping them to behave better.

[shootingstar112]

I don't know if thats true because me and my ex broke up instead of me agreeing to things I didn't want to do, now he's hooking up with girls a lot and being gross.

[Scaramanga]

Lol okay, forget what I said. At least you're rid of him.

[funguy90]

there's nothing wrong with not liking doggy. Everyone has certain positions that they like or don't like. Clearly this position also has other implications for you and why you might not like it. It's clear that you're more of an intimate clothes person when it comes to sexual intimacy. Some people like it more rough some people like it more sensual you're clearly just one of the more sensual ones. Nothing wrong with that. we just need to make sure you communicate that with future partners to make sure that both people are having their needs met and it's pleasurable for both of you. Especially with knowing your past and how certain things can upset you or trigger that flashback communication for you is going to be especially important.

[boggboss]

No there is nothing wrong with u you simply don't like it lol

[shootingstar112]

But my exes told me all other girls like it.

[boggboss]

And are u them other girls if i like meat and u don't is there somthing wrong with u? Come on hun don't let yourself be told how u should be

[shootingstar112]

But my ex would show me porn, that most porn is doggy style. And he would pressure me to do it when I didn't, and threaten to leave me. The fact that he didn't want to be with me because of this, makes me think its really important to guys and I'm weird.

[boggboss]

2 things porn ain't real life and you ex didn't not like or respect u you was only there for his entertainment not because he liked you don't be a clown and let him convince you that your weird or broken because u don't like doggy people have differnt likes none are wrong or right

[shootingstar112]

I'm not being a clown, its been over a year since I broke up and I have a very hard time with this

[boggboss]

Then you are showing a weakness in your confidence and personality that will prohibit you from being in a healthy relationship

[shootingstar112]

I can't be in a relationship because I replay being forced to doggy style and anal sex all the time, and being yelled at, over and over again. Its not weakness, I'm confused.

[boggboss]

If you have allowed yourself to believe that you are weird because your ex told u so I'm sorry hun but u are lacking in self love and confidence that is weakness u can try to change the words but in your heart you know it to be true

[shootingstar112]

Its not lacking self love. It seems like most girls like it. I don't. I feel like there's something wrong with me.

[shootingstar112]

I've had more than one guy ultimately break up with me because I didn't like doggy style and anal sex. How could I trust I'm good enough?

[boggboss]

How are u not lacking self love and confidence if u think having differnt sexual taste is weird that is stupid

[boggboss]

My girl don't like anel so you know what happens we don't do anel do I care no because doing it wouldn't be enjoyable for her these are simple things u had partners that broke up with you because they didn't care for your enjoyment

[shootingstar112]

Trust me I love myself. That's why I am happy not being with my exes anymore. I'm just worried any guy I would be with is going to pressure me to doggy style and anal sex because they all have, and its weird I don't like them

[boggboss]

Simply put if a guy loves u he won't pressure u into any type off sex

[shootingstar112]

Also my exes left me because they could find other girls that do this stuff. I just feel like option 2

[boggboss]

Well there is nothing more I can tell u past what I have already said

[shootingstar112]

Okay, well thanks for your advice i appreciate it. Have a good day

[Dargil]

There's nothing wrong with you. I entirely agree.

[ChocolateCheesecake]

If it hurts, you're either not turned on enough, or your butt isn't high enough in the air. Your head needs to be on a pillow.

[shootingstar112]

I don't want to put my head on the pillow. I would never have sex with someone with my head on a pillow and my butt in the air.

[ChocolateCheesecake]

Welp, your loss.

[shootingstar112]

Also, I am not turned on by doggy style. Even if I were turned on, when a guy brought it up, I'm not turned on anymore.

[shootingstar112]

I think you're kind of a jerk to tell me its my loss when its my feelings and I'm asking if there's something wrong with me.

[ChetAtkins]

Have you ever had a wedgie?

My mom had a brand new one she bought on the home shoppers network. She gave it to me, and I gave it to a friend. I wish I would have kept the damn thing!
Not all wedgies are bad.

[shootingstar112]

@ChetAtkins I would never do that, I can't face away during sex. Its way too difficult especially after being rape din doggy style. I was never into doggy style anyways. A pillow wouldn't fix the problem

[ChocolateCheesecake]

@ChetAtkins lmfao

[shootingstar112]

Chocolatecheescake you seem like a rapist psychopath

[ChocolateCheesecake]

You seem like a cunt

[ChetAtkins]

If you look at the picture, you don't have to face away from the person. And these things weren't advertised for sex, they're for watching TV.

[shootingstar112]

Dude you just laughed with someone who said something inconsiderate to me. You're a jerk, accept it and move on.

[ChetAtkins]

She was laughing at the wedgie, not you.

[ultimega]

I think you both misunderstood each other.

[ChetAtkins]

@ultimega This is a classic example of when a question isn't really a question. It's an attempt to receive affirmation. Chocolate should have said, "Yeah, I'm the same way." Then she would be a hero.

[ultimega]

Hmm...

[Losalt]

Shooting. You're overreacting to what Chocolate was saying. Calling her a "jerk "was uncalled for, she was trying to help.

[ChetAtkins]

@Losalt Chocolate is as sweet as pie. Her heart was in the right place, but that's not what the asker wanted to hear.

[Losalt]

@ChetAtkins Laughing at her and calling her a "cunt" wasn't exactly helping things either... Both of them have room for improvement.

[bethgurl]

ME EITHER 😝😝😝😝

[shootingstar112]

good to know im not alone did you also have a guys you were with pressure you to do it when you didn't want to

[bethgurl]

Yes when I was in college this guy called me every night to come to my dorm but I was on my period. So I told him no several times. Eventually I gave in and He got a kiss from me. I hated it and I brushed my teeth for weeks. Later I found out i had MONO. Oh and this guy smoked weed.

[Pink2000]

After the first time your ex forced you into that position, why didn’t you leave him?

[shootingstar112]

It did end pretty soon after, and relationships aren't all bad or good, its not so simple

[Pink2000]

But you said he “pressured you to do it all the time”. Why even continue to be around him.

[shootingstar112]

We're not together anymore and your comments are irrelevant and unhelpful

[Pink2000]

I was just curious.

[ultimega]

Well it's unfortunate what happened but there loads of other positions out there you can try and so long as your partner is considerate if your feelings.

[Browneye57]

Simply communicate this to your partner. Done deal. You don't have to go on and on about it, just be clear about your needs and wants. If he doesn't wish to comply then dump him and find one who does.

[genericname85]

i don't like it for the same reason xD nothing wrong with that.

[Lindalot]

If you don't like it, don't do it.

[shootingstar112]

But look how many guys here think its important How can I not?

[DiegoO]

Your reaction is normal although you should consider going to therapy and find a support group. Who ever get to be your boyfriend has to be comprehensive, at the same time you gotta be in peace with yourself otherwise you won't give your 100% in any relation you begging.

My ex didn't like it neither. Hmm, honestly she didn't like other things. I couldn't understand why. After a 3 years relation I want to believe she didn't suffer sexual abuse, but it was a LDR. I know for sure I don't know many thing from her.

[shootingstar112]

Thanks. Also why would your girlfriend have suffered sexual abuse? From you?

[DiegoO]

Not from me 😐, but she was very insecure about many things, and she viewed having something sexual as a problem. There are other things she said that got me wondering. Can I PM you? I rather mention the other parts in PM.

[Anon-ymous1]

"Is it a problem for guys that" Well... yeah maybe. It depends on the guy. I know I wouldn't want to be with a girl that was sexually restrictive. I hear what you're saying about what happened to you, and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, because it's fine-- it just isn't going to be compatible with a lot of guys, no. But that doesn't mean that it's not possible that you will somehow find a guy that's okay with it, because who knows? maybe you will.

[shootingstar112]

Maybe I will? wth i guess it is a problem i can't do this

[Anon-ymous1]

Yes... maybe you will. What's the problem here

[toddthemod]

Really? Yes it is the most commonly liked position by females... but not universal.
Plus given your experience with ex boyfriend why in hell would it ever equal a way to share love with a partner for you.

Nothing wrong with your preferences. As to a partner of he is caring at all and knowing of this will enjoy all other positions you guys can share together. Like cowgirl or missionary... both allowing gaze into each others eyes... hearing each others eager breaths... kisses while he is deep inside u...

[shootingstar112]

Yes, my exes also told me most girls like it. That's why I think there's something wrong with me. You're just confirming that. Guys have left me because I won't do it. They can always find someone who will. I don't know how I can be in a relationship

[toddthemod]

Those guys are shallow and stupid if that's the truth or using as an excuse to cover for other reasons. Answer me this... you have no problem with cowgirl? Sitting on a table while I (hypothetical... lol...) thrust between your legs? On yr back with your ankles around my neck ( my god I love that one... deep inside that way) Umm... let's see? You give/receive oral? Stroke yr partners' cock with your hand? Swallow? Dunno if everything there is good with you but so much more is possible that one position should not be a dealbreaker.

[shootingstar112]

yes i do all those things

[shootingstar112]

i mean i never did the table thing, but i would. i wouldn't swallow but i like giving oral

[toddthemod]

See you're into a lot of hot things. No one is into everything. For instance, I like my asshole licked.. but only every so often and always after clean wash in the shower... my girlfriend gives to me... but not her thing... I'd like to... but no... other tgings she wants... and I give to her

[DizzyAster2]

Ain't nothing wrong with that.
There is no wrong position in sex. I didn't like doggy much either, but I came around to it. lol

[shootingstar112]

Yes, you came around to it. I don't think I ever can. I tried, it sucked, and I was even raped because I didn't want it and he did it anyways. Now I hate it.

[DizzyAster2]

Then, don't do it. You can explain this to your boyfriend about it. Also, there are other positions that can simulate the doggy style for HIM while NOT being that for you, like spooning.

[shootingstar112]

Spooning is not at all like doggy style. Spooing I'm being hugged. Doggy style I'm very far away and it hurts

[DizzyAster2]

See?

[shootingstar112]

See what

[Beriham]

Do what u like girl

[TonyRyanAgain]

I wouldn't have a problem with that, it's fun and i love how that angle feels on my cock but no, it's not a requirement.

[bananathunder]

it's not my favorite either... I actually prefer missionary or some variant of it. I like kissing and being in control

[shootingstar112]

Okay but technically any position you can be in control

[bananathunder]

@shootingstar112 that is true but I feel most in control in certain missionary positions

[shootingstar112]

well you know sex really shouldn't be about control.