Do you ever have sex without being horny?

Question

I think I have never had sex while being horny. Yes I get horny on my own, if I watch stuff or just randomly and very occasionally while kissing someone. I don´t know if it is because I anticipate it and all the sudden when it is going to happen everything shuts down, or that when I am with someone and I know its going to eventually happen because it is what they seek and I get then turned off. So you might be thinking... then why do you have sex? And this is quite embarassing but I want to get it off my chest, I feel lonely, I sometimes need attention and someone to desire me to boost my confidence and selfesteem. I don´t know who I am without functioning in that matter, my self value. And its messed up, and of course its easy to say, work in yourself, okay I tried, I don´t know how and I end up doing the same shit. And my excuse is just that I should be able to have casual sex and have fun, but deep down I am seeking for a partner, and everytime I have sex with the guys I date/fuck with I feel empty, unsatisfied and ashamed. I do use sex as a form of attracting guys, I do use sex to try and keep a guy interested in me. I give 100% while having sex if I want you to be my boyfriend, I make everything so surreally perfect people don´t totally forget me. But I don´t bond with them any further, because this type of just seek quick sex kind of guys have very little to offer or the ones I do like are unavailable emotionally. I also tend to go back and have sex with the same people all the time. I dont like go out and fuck someone and forget about it, I meet a guy, date for a few days have sex continue for a few months, stop, have sex with one "ex", have sex with another "ex" blablabla meet a guy... I also tend to become willingly, like intentionally their therapists and try to fix them and see what did them wrong and empathise with guys even if they are bad or do me very wrong.

Do you ever have sex without being horny?

LuvYouAll · Accepted Answer

I have been in a similar situation as you when it came to having sex and not feeling horny at all. For me it all boiled down to not having enough of mutual trust and emotional connection with my partner. I still had sex with them but I didn't really enjoy it. At least I got enjoyment from the fact that I made someone I liked feel good. Even with my current boyfriend, who I love to bits nowadays, I had the same problem for almost 6 months into being sexually active with him.
I also used to use sex as kind of a bargaining chip. I would get love and attention and my partner would get sex. It really isn't a good way to make yourself happy though. You should find someone who doesn't ask sex for attention and love, but just wants to be loved back. With a person like that you will most likely eventually get turned on while having sex with them. But knowing you don't really seeem to have the best past experiences it might take quite a while for that to happen.

MayBlythe · Accepted Answer

Many times. I'll never say no to my fiance (Unless I'm doing something important)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well I get in the mood when happening. My marriage is sexless now but for years before that it was nearly sexless. And what sex there was, was entirely on her schedule. So pretty much no connection between me being horny and sex. If she was ever up for sex that was the time whether I’d been at all horny or not, because I wasn’t going to waste the chance.

partydelights · Accepted Answer

Married. So I experienced both side of the scale. From very horny hence kept initiating sex... to not horny at all but just fuck to satisfy her.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I recall not being in the mood a few times, but once she convinced me it was in my best interest, I was aroused.

Exterminatore · Answer

I’ve done that before. She wanted it. I’m tired. No biggie. What’s the worst that’s gonna happen? I’ll have an orgasm? In those situations though I ain’t doing the work. She can ride me or whatever. I won’t put in a lot of effort in those situations... which albeit are rare, but I’d never turn my girl down.

syncheart · Answer

If I was with a beautiful and sexy woman, I would be horny for sure!

thothahuramazda · Answer

Ya I had to perform and it was so boring she was a fat girlfriend and so the lust wore off and I had realised what I had done to my self. CRYS WHY GOD WHY did I do a fat chick nooooo!

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

Well since I can pretty much be horny whenever, I gues the answer would be no.

s2firestar · Answer

Nope. It's hard to fuck when you are not horny. Not having a raging erection and all. For me, this is never an issue.

OfDeath · Answer

That's kind of difficult for a male.

Gedaria · Answer

YES, When wife was in the mood and I wasn't, they just don't take no for an answer,,, not saying I didn't enjoy it in the end …..

AimeeKyle · Answer

Sometimes. If my significant other is in the mood and want some attention, I will certainly do it…. It would be a rare occurrence if I didn’t get in the mood even after getting going though.

Mariaangel · Answer

Noway

nudeNhorny · Answer

It's possible for women, for men it's completely different, without being horny it's difficult to achieve erection which is necessary for penetrating, but however we are always horny anyway so it's not a problem for us 😜