Guys, Caught my boyfriend masterbating in the shower, is this normal?

A couple days ago I walked in on my boyfriend masterbating in the shower, with his phone. either he’s done this all along and I just didn’t know, or it’s a new habit but my mind is stuck on one thing, Is there something I’m not doing right, is it because of me? From what I’m thought, out sex life is great. No complaints besides sometimes it take me longer to achieve an orgasm because of my antidepressant. And I could where maybe that could effect things, but that’s really all I can think of. I buy handcuffs, different lubes, sex toys, etc to spice things up all the time. I’m just not understanding why when you have a healthy sex life? The part that bothers me the most, is that he was watching stuff on Instagram. So now every morning I check to see if he’s active while he’s in the shower and guess what, he is! Lol. We live together, have been in a relationship for almost 2 years. Is it because it’s easier, quicker, and there’s not someone else to pay attention too? or are there people out there that prefer their hand instead of the real thing?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • So I would suspect your boyfriend is mostly just having a pavlovian dopamine short circuit looking for good masturbation material. Instragram has a veritable buffet of partially-mostly naked women he can flick though and apparently he got in the habit of doing that and jerking off when he was a teen. Lots of guys do this with Tinder (swiping like crazy then not messaging anyone is a good indicator).

    The SSRI meds have some significant drawbacks, less pleasure from sex/inability to achieve orgasm being a relatively minor one. Maybe do some reading on alternatives as the long term outcomes on those medications are significantly lower than placebo over the 1-5 year timeframe. Exercise and proper sleep both increase your depression scores by 5-6 points compared to the 1.5-2 of an SSRI medication that will fade over time. I don't meant to shame you or anything just giving you information to make an informed decision is all. Also GP's have a tendency to straight up lie and say things like they have no-limited side effects which is demonstrably false. It also predisposes you to bipolar disorder.

  • To know for sure (because everyone is different), ask your boyfriend, but don't take this personally because most likely, it has nothing to do with you or your sex life. To sum it up, especially if he doesn't have time right then and he's horny, it's exactly like you said, "Is it because it’s easier, quicker, and there’s not someone else to pay attention too" (or worry about, worry meaning about you or him "performing"). There's just no stress or worries at all. He can just do it and get it done and over with. If it were me, I'd be having you in the shower with me lol, but depending on the circumstances, if you're not able to right then, etc. But I can guarantee almost it's nothing personal, so don't take it that way.

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What Guys Said

(10)
  • How do you masturbate with a phone? Put it on vibe?

  • He's allowed to do whatever he wants with his own dick in private. Why is it so offensive that he wants to jerk off? Quite controlling of you

    • Because why need too when you can have sex with someone who’s less then 10 ft away?

    • You clearly have boundary issues. He just wants to get off without the chore of getting you off. It's that simple.

    • You're thinking about it wrongly. Masturbating isn't necessarily a substitute for sex, so you being there and willing isn't a factor; it could be habit, it could just be a way to get rid of a pesky unwanted boner, could be that a little self-loving is simply what he fancied that day. Not every boner is worth having sex with, and the truth is that sometimes it's just easier and quicker to crank one out. You should only be worrying if he actively refuses sex, and prefers to masturbate. I guess you could worry that he's looking at other women too, if that's a thing.

  • I prefer my hand over having sex.

  • Many guys masturbate in the shower, but to Instagram... I don't know... Just ask him and confront him with that, not in attacking or anything, just to know what's going on

  • Men masturbating is normal but to intergram is a new one to me to a porn site yea or nude pics what's he looking at on instergram

  • Yes pretty normal... we jerk it all the time... u should have helped him.

  • Quite normal behaviour and nothing to worry about. But if you need to be in control of all his orgasm so try introducing a cock cage or chastity device to your relationship lol.

  • Yeahh it's pretty normal, no biggie

  • Yeah it's completely normal, sometimes we just need to do it by ourselves it is different from having sex for us. Support him and send him some nudes or something so he can use them he will become even crazier for you!

    • I send him nudes, he never says anything back.

    • Well then he is a bit strange sorry... Guys usually love nudes when they need to masturbate, it makes them feel special when you girls send them, and excites them... At least for what i know from me and friends of mine...

  • It’s normal to masturbate in the shower