Guys, My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me?

Hi and thank you in advanced for reading and eventually giving your take on my problem! Sorry for possible spelling and grammar mistakes since English isn't my first language.

So me and my boyfriend have been together for six years and four of those we have lived together. I'm 21 years old and he is 28. My problem is that it seems that he is not very interested about having sex with me. We do have sex few times a month, but even more often when we are about to have sex this happens;

We are laying in bed/couch etc. and I'm touching him and eventually start giving him a hand job, meanwhile i also pleasure myself. But very often when i ask him in middle of the hand job if he'd like to have sex now, his answer is that he would like if I'd continue a bit longer. He says that we can fuck soon, but it rarely happens.

I have asked him why that is and his response is that it's really arousing when he can feel me touching myself and him at the same time. Tough I still wonder that maybe he just doesn't want to have sex with me. Maybe it's easier for him to think some other girl at the same time when he doesn't have to see och feel me?

Maybe it's worth to mention that he often gets a boner just by touching my ass or when we hug really closely. But if he really finds me attractive why wouldn't he want to have sex with me?

//Wonderingg

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm... It could be a mental thing. I have autistic tendencies and have to have things a certain way to be okay... Or super horny. I used to turn my girlfriend down when we got together after work as I needed to feel clean and have a shower, do to get round it I started going to the gym after work so I could shower... We talked about it now and she gets my ticks. Perhaps try and see if he will open up

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What Guys Said 10

  • Maybe he is bored of having sex. Try spicing things up and being spontaneous.

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    • Maybe would have been good to add this on my text, but I'll write it here. I have tried to talk with him about trying new things, buying toys etc. He says he wants it too but always says "later". I have even read good articles about new sex related things and linked them to him, but he won't bother read them. When I spontaneously start kissing and touching him, he usually rejects me. Thanks for your input!

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    • He does study at the university and is away quite many hours. He says that he doesn't watch porn but I doubt that, because once we were laying on the couch and we were watching something from his phone, he had searched some porn and I asked him about it, but he basicly exploded. Said that he hasn't watched and that I accused him of it, tough I didn't. He blamed it on a virus. I have also told him many times that it's okay for me if he watches porn or we can even watch it together. But still he strictly denies it.

    • Uh ok. He could be drained from University. Sometimes if a guy watches porn it can mess up his sex drive. If he is watching porn I hope he watches it with you one day.

  • i think he must still find you sexually attractive but for some reason has lost interest in actual sex with you or infact anyone. maybe he is using porn a lot behind your back or has a lowered labido for some other reason. best thing you can do is talk to him about it

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  • Well... you should probably read this, sis.
    Girls-- If He Doesn't Want Sex, Something is Wrong. ↗

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  • just get a taser and saddle him if he lets ya then you gonna have to do all the work and make it pretty good for him to make him want to intimate with you more often. If he doens't let ya , just shock him untill he likes it ( don't do it the berries, hurts too much to get off on it ) . What i'm just force a kink on him, might do good

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  • how have you been together so long and not had sex? most women would have walked on long ago if not got any.

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    • Wasn't like this until recently (1 year). We do still have sex, but it's not as often now as it was before. I'm not planing to walk since we work great together otherwise and he is a wonderful person. And the sexual things are not non-existent, just different.

    • just find a way to spice it up a bit :D

    • or ask if you are ok getting some on the side :D

  • GAYDAR PING!

    You've got a judy.

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  • ohhh what did you do?

    you fucked up

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  • Change of interest on u.
    Maybe

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  • May be he scared of getting you pregnant

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  • I'd fuck with ya

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