My boyfriend has never given me an orgasm, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

We been dating for 5 months and had sex after one month of dating. I don’t find the sex that good and we use a lot of lube because I don’t get that wet. I really like this guy and the relationship is great. He’s my first and I’m his but I’ve never Had an orgasm. I haven’t told him this because sometimes when he touches my sensitive bits I squirm and so he thinks it’s an orgasm. If I tell him now he’s never given me one I know it’ll destroy him.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever given yourself one? Or put in the effort during sex to get your orgasm yourself? Or do you just do the dead fish routine, roll your eyes, expect him to do everything and then say "it's all his fault" for YOUR OWN sexual dysfunctionality?

If he couldn't get erect, have an erection, summon a single drop of pre-cum, or ejaculate, even one single time, when you'd been having sex with him and devoting all your efforts to it for a full four months, what would you think?

How would you feel about it? Would it really 'destroy you'- would you be blaming yourself? Or would you be able to simply face facts and say "it's impossible, this guy's obviously either asexual or gay, and he's only in this relationship because he's using me"? Especially if it turned out he'd been hiding it from you all that time for the sake of convenience, making out that "I didn't want to tell you that I don't get the tiniest bit of pleasure or arousal from fucking you, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings"?

[Asker]

I alwys give myself one when I do masturbate. Most of the time it’s me who puts in effort. I go down on him all the time, whereas he’s done it 3 times to me in the 4 months and even then he’s only licked me for like 10 seconds. Another thing is that he gets nervous and loses his boner, even when he’s in me and I have to work again to help him get it back. When he loses his boner he gets mad and frustrated and it’s stresses me out.

[Dargil]

Fewer than 25% of women ever have an orgasm from intercourse alone. Oral can be very effective but skills are important and some girls are reluctant to receive it for various reasons. I have delivered "my firsts" with this.
Four-fingering. Turning foreplay into the main event. ↗
Tell him you got it from some innocuous place like Cosmo so he doesn't think you learned it from doing it. If you will relax and get into the moment, you should cum from this.

[Asker]

I orgasm from clit stimulation. I’m pretty sure I can if he licks me there, but for some reason he doesn’t like it. Even when I ask him to he gives me three licks and done.

[LuWe22]

What makes you orgasm? Penetration, clit stimulation, vibration? Figure it out and show him how you like it

[Asker]

I rub my clit for 10 seconds and have the best orgasms when I’m alone. When he does it I don’t.

[LuWe22]

So what is he supposed to do then? Don't you get aroused and wet from him?

[Asker]

yes I do, but he does it very hard

[LuWe22]

What should he do to help you?

[Asker]

Honestly, I want him to go down

[LuWe22]

I like that too. My boyfriend likes to go down on me. He just do it perfectly. If you want it just ask for it

[Asker]

I ask, but he does it for 10 seconds and stop. Later into the relationship he said how he doesn't like it and never going down again.

[LuWe22]

Thanks unfortunate, but nothing to change. If he don't want to you have to accept it.

[GB2000]

Get on top and grind the fuck out of his dick. You should be able to come

[masterkamasutra]

Use the dick to its limit.

[GB2000]

Of course. We don’t want to damage it

[masterkamasutra]

Use it till it won’t blow out all the cum.

[Roooni]

Don't tell him as for sure it will kill his self confidence and hence his future lol
However gotta find who's the problem here.
From the question it sounds like its his fault and his performance is just awful.
Then you say you don't get wet ! Clearly you have an issue as well that is preventing you from getting aroused. Gotta consult a doctor in that area. An you gotta open up with your sexuality with him. Dont leave it all on him.. make yourself reach orgasm with him !

[Asker]

Getting wet is not my issue mainly. When I do it alone I get very wet. The thing is I get wet when he goes down on me but he doesn’t like going down.

[Roooni]

Im a little stumbled now.. If he doesn't like going down on you like you deserve and go hard and rough when needed (all the time lol) then what does he like!! Is he the selfish type who only cares about satisfying his own self which literally won't take time if a man wants to.

[Asker]

he just thinks using his finger for five mins and then making me suck him and then shoving it in does it. We had table sex a few times and I really enjoyed that but he wanted to stop because the table kept hitting his thighs.

[Roooni]

Lol okay so here's the thing my dear. I see a problem in communication here and mutual understanding of each others physical needs. Some people are a match, some other are not but capable of working on it cause they get each other and are into each other and last but not least some are simply not a match. You two need to talk it through if you two or you gonna continue in this relationship point on the line. He does get well you gotta hit his ego a little so that he get it. You also gonna have to open up more sexually and let it go. Let your instinct take over. For some reason you don't sound fully relaxed and fully you with him. Just the fact of making love and i mean love with someone you love or by the very least someone that turns you on, should make you wet. Getting wet only via clitoral stimulation is kinda not normal. Its almost as if you ain't into him and he gotta do this in order to get you there. As for him well he gotta change you ain't a vessel just to unload lol.

[lightbulb27]

I've heard this before. I think it may be the relationship is good part that is the problem...

Love and Lust are counter forces, study up on that and try to build some mystery, suspense, and take time to warm you up.

takes time to learn. beyond that, who knows...

I think you have to tell him but not sure how to do that, it will bother him. do it very sweetly and sexy...

[Asker]

What do you mean by the first sentence where you say "the relationship is good part that is the problem"

[lightbulb27]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ierRipP-7JA&t=6sDesire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa0RUmGTCYY&t=3s

not saying it is the only component. Time and practice, learning your rhythm. I assume you can orgasm on your own, and if you were porn addicted that is another issue.

[wankiam]

can i ask when you masturbate do you cum from penetration or is it mainly clit stimulation that gets you to orgasm? i just wondr if getting him to wear a cock ring with a clit stimulator would help

[Asker]

Always clit stimulation

[wankiam]

well there is maybe a clue there then... not all woman can orgasm from penetration and it seems you may be one of them. it wouldn't be to hard for your man to understand if you explain this and im sure you could adjust what you both do in bed to make sure you both have fun. like i said him wearing a cock ring, which insidentally will give him a more solid erection or simply either of you playing with your clit while you he is also penetrating you

[Asker]

Yes I do play with it while he penetrates but often to orgasm I need to stretch my legs and put them close together so it’s disturbs his progress

[wankiam]

ah yes i had an ex girlfriend that liked to masturbate like that too... fortunately we combined sex and masturbation quite a lot because i cum better from wanking too

[Asker]

so what do you suggest

[wankiam]

well you could talk to him about this problem and see if he is happy to find compromise. maybe he would enjoy helping you to masturbate as part of your love making

[Asker]

I'll try that, thank you.

[JohnAlaska43]

get on top of him and move the way you need too. Also not every woman orgasms. Dont fret try new things.

[Asker]

I ride him all the time but I don’t know how to orgasm from that

[JohnAlaska43]

Well if its not working try a diffrent angle or position. Again you might not. Dont feel bad but you can't think about when you will just enjoy. If you worry about it or stress you won't be comfortsble.

[Drumlin2001]

A relationship is based on honesty. Talk to him, and keep practicing

[jessture]

So you've chosen to lie. Stop lying.

[Asker]

Not lie exactly.. I just never really told him because he's very sensitive.

[jessture]

Lmao... welcome to what guys deal with...

[Desconhecida]

Buy a dildo...

[masterkamasutra]

LOL 😂

[LiamSaw]

He needs to get his head between your thighs and use his lips and tongue as you direct him to the pleasure points!

[Asker]

he said he doesn't like going down

[LiamSaw]

Then he's a fool... there's nothing more exciting or as pleasurable as giving oral and hearing the results of the pleasure you're causing!

[Asker]

sadly I know, I love receiving it though! oh well.

[LiamSaw]

Dump him, he'll never be able to pleasure you he's too selfish!

[LiamSaw]

lol... you need to visit me... I love giving oral and you love receiving it... a match made in heaven!

[19irish76]

Too much lube so too little friction.

[Asker]

We stopped using lube after some time.

[19irish76]

That’s a start

[masterkamasutra]

Failed dick!!!

[TinTan88]

You should experiment with your guy and tell him what you like and dislike. Only way to grow as partners is to communicate. And let him have to input as well so it both parties would have a more enjoyable experience next go around. Dirty talking, fetishes, foreplay or etc. y’all can make it work

[Dantheman101]

Take control

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Dantheman101]

Get in position that will help

[Anonymous]

Open communication is the only way. If the relationship is gonna work, you've gotta be able to frankly communicate during sex.

[Anonymous]

Show him how to give you one?

[Asker]

I tried but his pace is off

[Opinion Owner]

Well rome wasn’t built in a day, continue showing him until he gets it - he will, you don’t just give up at the first struggle.

[Opinion Owner]

If you don’t get that wet yet you say you’re attracted to him then it sounds like maybe you have a psychological block, do you struggle to relax and really get into it?

[Asker]

I do relax, its just that the foreplay is short lived and I need him to go down on me to get fully turned on

[Opinion Owner]

So why aren’t you telling him this instead of us?

[Asker]

I do tell him. Can you not be rude? IF YOU DONT WANT TO ANSWER LEAVE.

[Opinion Owner]

Nobody is being rude. You’re being overly defensive. Typical of young girls. If you can’t handle it, don’t ask.