My boyfriend doesn’t like period sex, he’s almost 24, and I respect that; but am I wrong for suggesting other alternatives so we may both be satisfied?

[Anonymous]

I feel like there are many other opportunities to make sure I am getting satisfied, besides regular sex while on my period. I am most horny during this time, and even feel extra “freaky.” He even admitted he intentionally sexually ignores me during this time. Yet he still expects blowjobs, (and I love giving them,) but not if I am going to be sexually ignored for an entire week. I feel disgusting for something I cannot help, because of his words and actions. Any advice or suggestions (especially from a male?)

[Red_Arrow]

Period sex is different, obviously. It takes some adaptation for some things (oral especially), but it is still great feeling and worth the extra efforts. If a guy does not want to give his gal pleasure during this time, then he should not be getting any from her. Period! (excuse the pun) The problem is serious enough that you brought it to this forum, so I think it is serious enough that you reconsider if you want to spend the rest of your life like this.

Personally, if I am horny, I am horny. I am not going to deny myself the pleasure. And if my SO is horny, I am not going to deny her the pleasure. This it over seriously.

[Asker]

Very great point, and I certainly agree. Thank you☺️

[Red_Arrow]

* Think it over seriously.

[slatyb]

I find his attitude rather close-minded. I have had period sex and given head when my partner was menstruating. Period sex can be a bit messy, we put a towel down to protect the bedding. But it was mutually enjoyable. If he's unwilling to even try this, it may be a sign of things to come. What else is he going to be unwilling to do? Change a diaper?

Think about whether this is something you can live with or whether it's a fundamental incompatibility. You don't want to be frustrated for one week/month for the next 35 years.

[slatyb]

by the way, you should totally not be giving him BJ while he refuses you. He needs to suffer equally. Maybe that will bring him around.

[Asker]

Exactly right. Thank you for being so honest and helpful, I really appreciate it. I hate to sound demanding or perhaps petty, that is not my nature. But this isn’t the first time I’ve tried to pry for an excuse as to why he won’t or just discuss other options but he avoids even talking about it. I love open communication, whereas, he is very to himself. I just like to know his thoughts and opinions, like a good girlfriend should?

[slatyb]

Avoids talking about it? That's death to a relationship. It may be difficult, but honest open communication is vital to a happy partnership. It sounds to me that you may have outgrown him.

[Asker]

That’s my worst fear is finding out we are not a match, although it feels sometimes we are so strongly connected emotionally and through soul that we are meant to be. I obviously love this man, (I proposed to him and his reaction was everything I hoped.) Unfortunately, we can’t predict our future☹️

[slatyb]

Best wishes. I think you need to get this period sex thing worked out to your mutual satisfaction before you get married.

[Asker]

Couldn’t agree more. Thanks again for your input 🙂

[Anonymous]

There are guys who consider sex during periods a dirty act, forbidden by religions and ethical teachings. Nevertheless both guys and girls now- a- days don't care. It is true that during such time many girls desire more sex.
If your guy doesn't like to penetrate during periods, you both can go for anal in doggy style so that he plays with your clit, or you yourself can d it. Similarly, boob fucking with your fingers on clit can satisfy you.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend doesn’t care lol
He still goes for it.

[TripleAce]

Ewwww

[Asker]

I wish that were my case! I think it would turn me on more if he would just grow a pair and get used to it! We’ve had period sex quite a few times before but now all the sudden, “it’s too gross.”🙄

[TripleAce]

Lol Wth a girlfriend it isn’t a big deal I do agree. it is gross but we are ok with it because she’s our girlfriend and we love her But even if that is so, some might still become averse to the idea lol it’s possible. Just like some girls don’t like giving blow jobs. Oh there is a lot of girls like that huh

[Asker]

I love sucking my mans D and making him feel like one in a million, seeing him enjoy himself is my biggest turn on!

[godfatherfan]

Sorry but he shouldn't get sex at all if he won't have sex with you during that time. I could never have sex during that time. The thought of it repulses me so much I want to gag. Guys just are not used to what is going on down there. I thought that I finally got my head around it when I was in my early 40's, but nope, I couldn't go through with it. But I would not ask my wife at that time to do stuff for me. That wouldn't be right. He has all the tools he needs to take care of himself during that time. So he will be fine.

[Asker]

Thank you for your input🙂

[The_Dean]

I don't care whether or not someone's on their period. Sex is sex, no matter if there's extra fluid involved or not. Let him wear a condom if he's such a germophobe, put a towel down, and go to town on him.

[Asker]

I would have to agree! He also dislikes condoms. I still respect his decision, but wish he could see how upsetting it can be to feel so disgusting, especially to my own fiancé.

[godfatherfan]

That is beyond fucking disgusting.

[Asker]

What part did you find disgusting, sir?

[The_Dean]

If you aren't willing to be a real man and get down and dirty for your girl, you don't deserve her. Don't be a pussy.

[Asker]

Thank you! And the worst part is, I don’t even like anal but he loves it so once in awhile I let him go for it. I bought him an anal training kit (to use on me, hoping this was a kinky and thoughtful gift to spice things up!) He then asked if I would use the dildo on him while he masturbated and I watched, which is fine and all, but I was at the same time hoping he’d be more excited to use it on me?

[The_Dean]

He seems selfish to be honest... sex is very one-sided it seems. If you can't get him to change his mind, or if he's too stubborn, are you sure you're willing to live with this?

[Asker]

After all, I am very kinky and willing to do anything for him. I was even eager to try the training kit so I can feel at ease and in less pain when we have anal. To this day we’ve used it on each other the same amount. Once each and I was so sure he’d really enjoy it and was upset that he wanted to use it first? Is that wrong of me to be let down by his lack of appreciation. Again, I don’t really care for anal, the gift was for him to enjoy with me, so he can have anal more.

[The_Dean]

Where I'm from, a man using a dildo on himself is a little bit (I mean a lot) off-putting for most women. Anyway, I get where you're coming from, and it feels one-sided in your sex life. Again, as I said earlier, this might be a dealbreaker if you hope to have a good, fun, and healthy sex life...

[Asker]

Which I think is everyone’s goal! To feel beautiful/handsome, sexually satisfied, and being able to communicate about these issues would help a lot. I know that anal play can make an orgasm feel amazing (I’ve felt this personally.) His lack of enthusiasm to use it on me made me feel like my effort went unnoticed.

[TripleAce]

Well if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t like it
Don’t be spiteful and be like oh well then I won’t give him blow jobs lol. His dick isn’t spewing out blood and bodily fluids non stop the whole time

It’s gross. Maybe he will give in some time but I don’t think you have a right to be mad about it lol

I’ve been with a lot of girls that don’t give blow jobs. And it’s totally fine if that’s her

[Asker]

Having a period is not gross. I think a woman who doesn’t enjoy sucking her man isn’t very generous, and that’s just my opinion. I’m willing to try anything even if it’s not something I think I’d enjoy, if I know my man would enjoy it i suck it up anyway.

[Asker]

Also I don’t think you read my entire question. I added in the fact that there hasn’t even been kissing or any other affection besides sex, oral, etc.. this is what I see the problem with. Is steering clear of me entirely, and I am his fiancé of 2 years.

[TripleAce]

In that case you might have a bigger problem lol So then what? After you are finished he becomes a husband again?

[Asker]

If I am interpreting your comment correctly, then that is just silly. It isn’t all about sex for me, but when I’ve made it known the lack of intimacy from his side has upset me, and he still has the audacity to ask and elect blowjobs almost everyday, while I’m being sexually ignored is unfair, even though I love this man with my heart and soul.

[Asker]

Expect*

[jimyee]

He certainly shouldn't be expecting bjs. I'm not sure why you want him to do though, if he won't have sex he's obviously not going to finger you and given the proximity, he probably wouldn't be willing to play with your clit.

[Asker]

I don’t even get a makeout session is my problem. It’s totally and utter distancing himself from me. We’re engaged and have been together 2 years. I guess I’d assumed he’d be over it by now and respect my cycle because that plays a role in conceiving his children in the future.

[jimyee]

Yea, that's a pretty big red flag (no pun intended🤣). You might want to seriously consider if this is actually the person you want to marry before you do.

[Asker]

That’s what I’m afraid of. I just like to ponder and try to fix the issue before all else fails, and our relationship must come to an end, so I can at least say I tried🤷🏻‍♀️

[SngBirdy]

Im not really sure how horny girls can get, but is it that hard to abstain from sex for a week?

[Asker]

Personally, yes. I have a high sex drive and I give in return what I expect. I can go days without, but prefer to be close and intimate. Also having conflicting work schedules can be a huge pain!😪

[SngBirdy]

Hmm im just weird, but i can abstain from it for weeks without issue, no matter how horny i get and even if my girlfriend is right next to me. You have to see it from his side. Do you want to force him to do something that grosses him out? Obviously your situation sucks. But its just something both of you dont agree with eachother. Thats just how it is, but forcing him to do it is a bad idea. For both of you

[Asker]

I’ve never forced him to do anything. It is a sucky deal for sure! But not worth making him do something he’s not comfortable with. He’s voluntarily had period sex before quite a few times, but his opinion of it has since become more negative than before. Thanks for your input 🙂

[eMaNnUeL]

Maybe suggest wearing a condom? The reason guys don't like period sex is cuz no one likes getting someone else's blood on them. So maybe that might help?

[Asker]

I totally appreciate your input! Just don’t understand how a guys mentality is that something that comes from our vagina is “gross” yet the same guy can insist on blowing salty jizz in my asshole? Just contradictory, and doesn’t make much sense, in my opinion.🤷🏻‍♀️

[eMaNnUeL]

I don't see it as contradictory. What is and isn't considered gross is completely subjective to the one dealing with it. For example, no guy finds pussy juice gross, but that's not the same as blood. I actually did a poll for only women to ask how'd they feel if their boyfriend and a bloody nose and wiped the blood on them. The number 1 choice is that they'd hit their boyfriend. So clearly no one likes getting blood on themselves. Don't see why it coming from a vagina changes what it is

[Asker]

And that’s your perspective. I really don’t think blood is that gross especially being that I’m in the nursing field. I understand your point, however.

[eMaNnUeL]

Not just my perspective, that's the consensus from the survey I did

[Asker]

Ok your argument is that someone wiped nose blood on someone else, that is immature and gross, yes. Also, it’s unnecessary, nor is it funny? I’m talking about vaginal blood and sexual intercourse. Those are not correlated whatsoever. Your one survey still has no relevance.

[MarketData]

When I can't find a willing sex partner I usually just have a quick wank (US: masturbation).

[Asker]

I’m fine with flicking the bean even on my period if that’s what it takes but I was hoping a makeout session from his part would show he is into it and doesn’t find me repulsive. If that makes sense?

[MarketData]

On the one hand you're probably right, but on the other hand not liking period sex doesn't mean he finds you repulsive.

[Asker]

When he verbally expressed to me that “it’s gross” and admitted he does avoid me at all costs and does his best to avoid anything even so much as making out, I do sincerely feel gross. He’s aware I have bad self esteem anyway, and this case doesn’t help matters. I would never want him to feel low about himself or “gross” “disgusting”, etc... now that he knows it’s upset me he would rather sit in silence than apologize for making me feel insecure and reassuring me I’m not gross, he just doesn’t feel comfortable.

[MarketData]

That's more of a relationship issue then.

[Asker]

I’m just not sure of the best approach to discuss this topic and coax him out of his shell a little without prying too much, or being pushy.

[Anonymous]

Maybe suggest doing some toy play.

[Anonymous]

News flash!

Your boyfriend is a prick.

[Asker]

So I’ve learned!🤦🏻‍♀️

[Opinion Owner]

If you figure out your are setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery and decide you want the whole package come on over and Ill cook us some dinner. Ok so Im not the whole package either but hey, its a free lunch dinner..

[Asker]

I hate to give up on somebody that has such potential, and we’ve invested 2 years with one another, but I will consider your offer for future reference. Thank you🙂

[Opinion Owner]

Well you are the one who is paying for it aren't you? He doesn't give a fuck, this isn't a problem for him. Blow jobs every day and 1 day in 4 he doesn't even have to make an effort. You think you are pissed off about this after 2 years with your fiancee? How do you think you are going to feel after 20 years with your husband? Like you missed out on something? How do you think the rest of your relationship is going to look after x years of not having your needs met? I dont want you to have to bin something like this either, but this is a fucking problem and you can either address this problem now or you can address it when your life is much more complicated and you have children a mortgage and a shared bank account.

[Asker]

Very true, thank you for this honest advice. I have so much to weigh out and think about before I can make a decision. I’m a very forgiving person and tend to let people mistreat me because of my giving/caring nature, and therefore get taken advantage of a lot. Have a blessed day, and thanks again.🙂

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah no worries, take care.

[Anonymous]

Non-penetrative fingering. Rinse out, fresh tampon, lotiony attention to your clit. Like when most girls fap.

[Anonymous]

Anal sex? Not much else you can do.