How much of my body should I allow him to touch?

He woke me up by grinding against my butt (a. k. a my tailbone) during finals week. I had 5 hours of sleep every night and this was my one night to sleep in. I got a bit annoyed and told him to stop because I'm trying to sleep. He then calls me a liar. I get up and walk away saying I'm not lying and he says I'm leaving because I know he is right. Mind you he grinds on me a lot and I usually let him unless I'm sleeping or on my way out the door. I give him sex usually whenever he wants. He doesn't pleasure me ever and usually it is uncomfortable or slightly painful how hard he grabs at me or grinds on me. He says he never has the freedom to touch me unless I agree to make him cum or something. He also is mean to me which is why I'm not really sexually attracted anymore and I know this is wrong. Also yes I have communicated this with him many times in detail. Sometimes he's understanding, sometimes not. But it never changes.

But here is what I want to know: how much should I ever allow ANY person I might date to touch, grab, grind on my body? Where does the line draw? When am I being prude and when should I say yes or allow it? I don't know where to draw the line.

Personally how I FEEL is that I wouldn't every really want someone to grind or grab at my tits and butt (some soft touching here and there is totally welcomed) when I'm doing normal stuff in the kitchen. I'd want to feel emotionally connected and for it to have a little more romance. I'd want to start off by kissing and slowly lead our way to more intense stuff like grinding etc. Is it weird that I don't like it unless I am already doing stuff with the person?

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  • The things you mention that you like seem very reasonable. You welcome his touches when they are gentle an loving, even if you are not particularly in the mood. And if the touching does not put you in the mood, then he should be happy with what he is getting. It really sounds like he is using you, not caring for you. If you talk to him about this and he does not change, then you should probably get away before becoming deeper in the mess.

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  • Well I think that she should let you sleep, or otherwise you might need to sleep in separated beds all together, as for if he grab at your tits and butt while you in the kitchen, I don't seen why you have such an problem with it, and you really seems to not allowing him to touch outside of sex, even though to claim to usually been giving him sex whenever he wants, he might want to enjoy grabbing your tits and butt when there is not going to be sex right after that, he seem to like your tits and butt very much, and he is not necessarily doing it for a foreplay, also he likely feel like he should have an full access to your body, after you already had sex with him, multiple times.

    tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SleepingSingle

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    • 4d

      I mean "I think that he should let you sleep."

    • 4d

      If your not going to believe that I let him do it most the time then what's the point of answering. Also like I clearly stated, I'm okay with touching, his touching is uncomfortable and painful because it is rough.

  • You should only allow him to touch you in ways, and at times, that the touching arouses you and makes you feel adored. What he is doing is about pleasing himself, not about adoring you. I don't know why so many guys struggle with this, but when he starts to touch you, it should be a very gradual thing. He should gently, and slightly touch you, entice you to come into his arms and then slowly let things get rougher and more intense. The grinding should only start as him touching his pelvis against your butt.

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    • 4d

      Wow it's so good to hear a guy around my age say this. What you said is what I want. I'm glad not only I feel this way.

    • 4d

      Bearing that in mind, I think you may want to get away from that guy... he doesn't seem to care about whether or not you enjoy what he's doing.

    • 4d

      Okay. Thanks for the advice.

  • ... I Might Date...
    "Get him Out right now!!!"
    No Date nor a Mate!!! xx

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    • 4d

      He is using you. xx

    • 4d

      That's what I always thought, that he's using me. But he gets mad saying I'm assuming things when I say that.

  • First things first, you need to communicate about your sex life. If he ain’t pleasing you, address it. Tell him what works and what isn’t.

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  • Why are you with this guy? What is keeping you with him? Why are you staying together?

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  • Lose him he will become abusive

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  • Don't allow him to touch body ever.

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