Feeling competitive against white women for white men's attention?

Question

My family is touchy about white people in general, which made liking white boys growing up, insanely awkward, to the point where I shut romance out completely.
I am mixed, (THE FUCKING IRONY RIGHT? My grandma is white, but the "white people ain't shit, so I married a black dude," kinda white, produced biracial children who produced mixed children,) with beautiful features that attract men of all varieties. It is still uncomfortable to explain to black men who approach me, that I have a preference without a condescending argument about how white men aren't that great, or how I hate myself and all black people suddenly...*rolls eyes*... or the opposite of crushing on a white guy - who doesn't date outside his race.
I do not find "wiggas," attractive in the least; I like kosher, suburban raised, happy with their whiteness - white men lol - who typically date white women, naturally.
Its not wrong to date your own race, its difficult filtering through however. I get stuck in this odd insecurity before attempting to talk to a white dude that I like, that I am 2nd or 3rd or 4th, etc, choice in his mind compared to white women (#1,) and all other similar races.
Similar as in having european like features, same hair, lighter skin, etc.
Black women look different from the other ethnicities from our hair to our build, that maybe its too extreme a difference to feel like a white man would love me like he would other races of women.
I struggle to think the white guys who have approached me, take me seriously or might just have a fetish. Or they have a grill and talk like a drug rapper... which is a huge red flag and turn off.
So I get all dressed up and go out, but shrivel into a ball of fear and insecurity about a real future with a white guy.
Im just not as pretty as the other races of women.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

So your family is racist. Not uncommon.

Your preference is to have an upstanding, stable, non-thug... but your family expects you to continue the cycle of garbage. Check.

Your feeling that you compete with white girls is no different than all other white girls. Girls compete with each other for male attention. Which is why most younger females expose as much of their body as possible in public.
The best way to get a stable white male is to avoid the black female cliches.
Don't be aggressive, loud, violent, or "ratchet".

If you are a classy mixed-race girl, trust me, a lot of white males will find that attractive.

Thatsamazing · Accepted Answer

"I'm just not as pretty as the other races of women" is crap and I'm sorry you feel that way. A person's physical beauty is not determined by their skin color.
Anyway, I do think that I notice some people obsess about this kind of stuff to an unhealthy degree, and I can see that you think about it a lot-- do you think you're overthinking it at all? Why not just 1) see a dude you think is attractive and 2) talk to him? and maybe 3) something will happen. That's literally how it works.

Hhiek · Accepted Answer

Honestly i prefer Lebanese men but you do you white men are boring

boggboss · Answer

You are simply being insecure hun

Dargil · Answer

I like kosher, suburban raised, happy with their whiteness.
*That would be me. I have long since liberated myself from racial angst and if she's reasonably attractive, has a stable, cheerful temperament and likes me, that's all I ask. I don't give a flip about melanin or other details.
I'm just not as pretty as the other races of women.
*Of course you are. And besides, good enough is good enough. I don't need a runway model.

winterfox10 · Answer

Eh, from my experience, white women don't seem to pay me much mind. I know that my experience is odd, as a white guy, but white women just don't care about talking with me. They just simply don't care. Darker skinned women seem to love me and will happily dote on me all day. The town that I come from is extremely white (probably over 90%), which made for a lonely teenage me hahaha.

So I guess my point in saying all of this is that you may feel like you are competing with white women, but the reality is that most white guys would rather spend their days and lives in the arms of a woman who appreciates them, vs the arms of a woman who happens to match the beauty industry's insane (and constantly changing) standard of beauty.

WhoDatGuy · Answer

It's not the race we're attracted to. It's the person. Sorry but you gotta stop playing the race card.. Maybe they just weren't that into you

red_knight · Answer

If it's depressing you so much have you considered moving to a more open minded area

NovissimumVirorum · Answer

I too am competitive against white women

Ben228 · Answer

You are attracted to who you are attracted to, simple as that. People need to stop being so sensitive when someone has a preference.

Example, I'm white but I find myself easily attracted to Asian women, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't find anyone else from any other ethnic background a potential life partner if their personality is right. What matters is that I find someone who I am compatible with, regardless if she happens to be who I have a preference for or not.

Anonymous · Answer

Why? Why should you care the race of a man you're in to?

Anonymous · Answer

Do girls really think so?

Anonymous · Answer

I'm white. When I dated black or biracial women I talked to them just like anyone else and didn't worry about racism. Either they liked me or they didn't. Just step with confidence and you'll be OK. Lots more white guys are interested in you than you may realize.

Feeling competitive against white women for white men's attention?

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