Why doesn't he make eye contact during sex?

[Anonymous]

(Please read all) I've been seeing this guy for 3 months now (almost 4) and we've been sleeping together since the second month. I have noticed a pattern of him not making eye contact during sex and now it's starting to bug me...

He either stares at his penis going in and out of me or has his eyes closed. I feel he looks at my eyes for a quick second or two and that's it.

I'm not unattractive but it's hard to feel like he barely looks at me because he's not attracted to me anymore or if he's picturing other girls. I'm an A cup, so it's not like he's staring at my breasts only. I don't get it because when we're not having sex, he's super affectionate. He cuddles me, likes to hold my hands, touch my lips, etc. We cuddle after sex too but I don't get why there's no eye contact from him. He also takes long to orgasm. So I'm starting to feel self conscious and bad

[yuviii2012]

See girl there may be multiple reasons... may be he has habit of masturbating in same way as he used to and same is carried on now... next can be he thinks it makes u uncomfortable... some guys pay more focus on insertion technique and movement to see penis... Some like me close eyes and feel the pleasure... its not like that... b open nd chill girl... there are more reasons still confused u may get me back for help...😊😊

[Asker]

So you also close you eyes during sex?

[yuviii2012]

Yep in bjs also... its feeling you get in whole body we feel it nd its tuf to control especially when girl rides on top... its heaven...😊😊

[FunkyMonkee]

No idea! Probably some personal hang-up. Have you tried talking with him about it? When I'm having sex with my girlfriend, I not only make eye contact, I make lip contact and verbal contact telling her that I love her!
I've discovered in the past 15 years or so that porn, for instance, is SO much better when it's between two people that actually love each other AND profess their love for each other!!

[Asker]

No I haven't spoken to him about it. To be honest I'm really nervous to and I'm afraid he'll think I'm crazy or something

[AustinMan]

It's important how you talk to him. Here're some suggestions I laid out in a My Take I wrote awhile back.

How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

[FunkyMonkee]

Okay, questions: Are you his first sexual partner? Why do you WANT him to finish quickly? Most women are pissed off about guys that are done before they (the women) even get started!

[Asker]

I'm not his first sexual partner. I don't necessarily want him to finish quick but every guy before him has finished quick, so I feel maybe this guy isn't so into it as much. I don't want him to finish quick but sometimes our sex lasts long and we're both sweaty and tired. Two days ago it lasted about an hour. Is that normal?

[FunkyMonkee]

Okay, did he have a lot of sex before he met you? I'm thinking, if he's new to it or relatively new, he's watching his dick go in & out of you BECAUSE it's new to him, he needs VISUAL confirmation that it's HIS dick that's inside a vagina and he just enjoys full knowledge that it's HIM doing it and not some guy in a porno he's watching. In time, that may wear off and he'll start looking at you instead of his dick. If it doesn't, he's just one of those guys that really likes watching his dick go to work in you. Guys ARE more visual-based than girls. Maybe you can watch it with him and even make a few comments on it: That looks so neat going in and out of me, doesn't it? Look at how far into me you're going! WOW!! Maybe even ask him to tell you what it feels like to be in you. As for the duration, be glad he takes his time! Those other guys are the kind girls usually complain about! "He gets in me and is done in 90 seconds and I have to whip out Mr. Tonka Toy and finish myself off while he rolls over and goes to sleep!!" It's those quickie guys that aren't so much into it, at least as far as it being you. To them, you don't have to be good at it, you just have to be THERE! I'm not 100% sure it's normal to last an hour. As long as you're not sore from it and enjoying it, so be it! I'm not really a quick shot, but I don't last more than about 10 to 20 minutes. Partly it's because I just figure it's my job to "fill her up" so, after SOME kissing and what have you while I'm in her, I just figure it's time for me to explode. But, even if I DON'T last long enough for her to cum, too, I make SURE she cums after I'm done my going down on her.

[AustinMan]

Have you talked to him about this away from the sex?

[Asker]

I have not. Should I? I'm nervous to

[AustinMan]

How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

[Asker]

Thank you for this

[rudude]

Maybe, just maybe, it's because he's gotten the idea that girls don't welcome eye contact. I've gotten the idea myself that some girls don't like it, but then I already knew that some girls did.

[zippididooda]

When I was single I never realized that a woman might like to be looked at while she was being f'ed. I also liked to see it going in and out (mainly because I could barely believe it was happening). Our parents in those years (the 60s) taught us that sex, particularly for women, was shameful. And so when I was doing it a woman she'd likely be ashamed so for her sake it'd be best not to look. He must be going through something like that and I bet he'd be relieved to know it'd was OK to look at you. I'm also sure that's why he closes his eyes. Not because he's imagining somebody else but so he can't see the recrimination in your eyes. (Watching it go in and out of your vagina must be a voyeur thing he can't help but watch.) I'm sure he means no disrespect and you should stop feeling self-conscious about it. Please have a little talk with him about it. I bet his upbringing was similar to mine.

[muddguppy]

Sounds like he is concentrating or fantasizing in order to climax. He may be concentrating or fantasizing about you. So it’s not bad. Or if he is fantasizing about other stuff then he is probably masturbating too much. Or may have other issues that are affecting is ability to perform. For example, low testosterone, stress or blood sugar problems. Either way it has nothing to do with you. He obviously loves you a great deal from what you are saying. And just because you are an A cup doesn’t mean he isn’t staring at your breast. Everyone likes different things. I happen to love A cup breast. That’s the size of my SO

[girl_next_door_62]

I like to do BDSM... I dont often look at my guy when we are having sex

[reptocarl]

He can stick his dick in your pussy but you can’t ask him this?

[Massageman]

Don't worry about it. It's any of a number of guy things that have been fairly well-covered already.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Massageman]

Asked and answered. Read the other responses- they pretty well cover things.

[bklynbadboy1]

He dont want you to see him turn part bitch! Lol. That means you got that good good... lmfao

[rasotli]

i love looking eyes when i m in

[Anonymous]

Not looking in your eyes and being able to last a long time are connected. If I look in my girl's eyes for too long during sex, it's gonna be over in a short amount of time.

[Asker]

I'm not sure :( because when we first started having sex, he'd take a long time to orgasm and I did ask him about that and he said that's how it always is with him, even when he is masturbating and I'm not sure if he was lying to me or not to make sure I didn't feel bad