Sexual Relationships
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Why am I not able to masturbate?

I'm an 18 year old virgin and I've recently decided to try experimenting with masturbation, but nothing seems to work. I've heard it's supposed to be great and many women achieve an orgasm, but I can't. Touching myself feels good for a little while, but then it's like the good feeling just goes away and then the touching just feels more irritating than pleasing.

I've tried fingering, clitoral stimulation, and an electric toothbrush (yes, it was sanitized and is only used for this purpose), but nothing ever works. I've even tried mutual masturbation with a few partners over voice chat and video chat so I can get turned on, but that doesn't work either. It just ends with the guy always finishing and me never being able to get beyond a certain point of pleasure. Plus, I feel like I always disappoint my partners because they insist "oh, I'll get you to orgasm" every time I tell them that it's not likely.

Is something wrong with me? What should I do? I feel like I've tried everything and something's just wrong with me or not working right. I'm beginning to worry that I'll never be able to orgasm or experience pleasure even during the first time I have sex. I can get mentally turned on and really in the mood, but whenever I try to act on it, I don't get any sort of payoff.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Hum...
    It might be a mental blocker.
    Don't try so hard to have an orgasm.
    Just relax and enjoy the pleasure that you *do* get.
    If your clit gets to sensitive you could try to just put a finger on either side of your clit hood not actually touching your clit to give a more indirect and less intense stimulation.
    Also, try to google the human sex map and see if you got any kinks (it's just a small selection of what's out there, but it's a good starting point to start a conversation about what you're actually into).

    At any rate, stop thinking about your clit as the main sexual organ in your body.
    It's your brain that is.
    If you end up with a boyfriend and still can't cum you might want to talk with a sexual therapist for some advice.
    But my first and foremost advice remains, just relax and don't worry so much about cumming.
    If you try to hard you just won't cum.

  • Maybe you aren't getting wet/lubricated enough and the friction is making you sore? Try using just a little lube on your hands or toy to help. Or try a vibrator. One of the clitorial ones would probably be best if you can't properly produce the fluids to protect your region.

Most Helpful Girls

  • When I use clit sim. I start to feel irritated too but I keep doing it and I end up having an okay orgasm. Clit sim is my least favorite form of masturbation. I usually get under the showerhead or bath faucet or hump my pillow. Those are my favorite forms. I recommend the showerhead to anyone. Just turn on your shower or bathe faucet and let the water flow directly onto your clit. Changing the water pressure and watching porn while doing it helps too.

    • Whenever I try to do anything with my clit, it just feels like an uncomfortable tickling feeling and I can't really get past it. And thank you, I'll try the shower thing.

    • Yeah, you're not the only one who doesn't like it. I hope the shower thing works. It's the best thing in the world for me.

  • There is nothing wrong with you!! I used to have the same problem (now I masturbate almost every day!) Just be patient with yourself and try not to have any resistance to what you're into. A big block for me was accepting my "kinks" and exploring them. It will happen when you're ready. No rush! :)

  • There's nothing wrong with you. A lot of the time I just feel frustrated doing it, too. It's hard to be satisfied with just yourself. Try buying a dildo.

    • I just don't understand how my partners can do it just fine but I can't. It's really frustrating and disheartening. Unfortunately I don't have access to dildos or vibrators or anything like that because I live with some very nosy people.

    • you could find something that's long and thick enough, but I don't know what other than a dildo.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 8

  • You may have to find a guy to do the touching for you. I know it sounds odd, but actually having a naked guy stimulating you may get things going.

  • You can try using sex toys (dildo, vibrator etc), try grinding, shower head can be great

  • It happen to me you just have to find a right person is all i am still having problems like that

  • In order to trick your body into getting pleasure for masturbation sometimes you got to have a partner and if you don't want a man as your partner if you're comfortable find a female partner that's my best advice

  • First try to relax you never get orgasm if you are very confused. finger you pussy slow using a big dildo and speed up and watch a lot of porn and at the same time do it.

    • I can teach you how to get multiple orgasm if you want

    • I don't enjoy porn and I don't have access to vibrators or dildos due to being in a shared household :/

    • Use your hand to finger yourself.

    • Show All

  • You just aren't

  • See a doctor

  • Maybe it's just not something you're into.

    • I really want to be into it. I can get mentally turned on but I just can't ever act on it, at least not on my own.

    • Okay I'm trying to think of how I maybe able to help you feel comfortable about it. But I can understand because even though I'm 33 I'm still a virgin so maybe it'll be a little easier to talk with someone who at least is coming from a similar background.

  • Buy a vibrator, do it alone, without anyone else taking any part in it, create a relaxing setting, do what turns you on, and masturbate without trying to orgasm.
    Stop as soon as it stops being pleasurable, just enjoy it for what it is, don't put yourself down for not achieveing an orgasm, and do it again when you're in the mood, and only then.

    I think you're putting too much internal and external pressure on yourself. You need to stop trying to "achieve" something.

  • girl same

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