Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Nude Family Photos? Good or bad idea?

Brief background - my girlfriend and I have lived together for 11 years and have three children together boys, 9 and 8, and a girl 5. We don't want to be married and that caused a bit of tension with both traditional Catholic families, but especially with her dad, very Catholic and a Navy veteran.

Over the years, things have gotten better - though never perfect with her dad, though he mellowed considerably when he got grandchildren. I would be the first to say that he is an amazing grandfather.

Anyhow, when my girlfriend was expecting our first, at about 7 months pregnancy, I took a few nude shots of her and us together, because frankly, I thought she was beautiful. A few were sexual, most were not. We looked at them and put them aside. That was that.

About a month after the baby was born my girlfriend, bouncing off what I had done, thought it would be beautiful to have some nude shots with the baby. So we hired a photographer who came to our home, and took some shots - a few outside in our secluded backyard, but most inside.

There was NOTHING sexual in any of these. There were a few of us holding the baby together. Some of me holding the baby - who was also naked - or him sleeping on my chest and such. In some of these just of me chest up, in others you could see my penis.

With my girlfriend something of the same thing. Plus a few of her breastfeeding.

In all of these there was nothing explicitly sexual. The idea, besotted new parents that we were, was that it was natural and beautiful and the whole idea was artistic. We did not post the photos or share them with anyone else - unless you count the photographer. They were just for us and to us illustrated the natural beauty and love we shared. We looked at them now and then and then put them away.

Well, long story short. My gfd's dad was over the other day and for some reason we were going through our photo albums and he discovered these 9 year old photos. He about had a stroke and a furious argument ensued.
Perfectly fine - natural & beautiful
Vote A
Not a good idea - should not have done it
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
We have calmed things down but he was not happy. So, bottom line, did we screw up? You cannot un-ring the bell, but should we have never taken the photos. Alternatively, was it perfectly fine and just something that we as a young couple shared to commemorate the natural beauty of our love for each other and our new baby.
+1 y
Just as an aside, they say you never wake your second child to see him smile and we did not do anything similar with our next two children. Frankly, it was just something two new parents did to commemorate something special and beautiful. Were we right or wrong? P. S. Placed this under the "Sexuality" category as I thought it might get more attention. Frankly, I thought it should be under "Family & Friends." What say you?
0 2

Most Helpful Girls

  • Personally I don’t see why genitals need to be involved... I get the skin to skin for chest photos but being fully naked does kind of leave it open for interpretation on the sexual focus for me.
    I had maternity photos done, some of them were naked but everything was covered. After my baby was born we recreated them with the baby, as a before and after but still there were no sneaky peeks (I’ve attached what I mean). I guess I just can’t understand what value having photos of your genitals with your baby gives? It just seems like a crop it out kind of opportunity, we all get naked with our kids but do they really need a very visual reminder of that?

    Still though, as a parent we choose what we think is best for our kids 😊 he can be as weird about it as he wants but it’s none of his business

    Nude Family Photos? Good or bad idea?

    • These are beautiful photos and I really regret mentioning that my genitals were in some of the shots. It was really not that blatant.

      Here is an example, though this is not me, that was available, of all things, on ebay. www.ebay.com/.../121993776093

      There was one photo where I was a bit more prominent, but it - pardon the pun - does not really stand out. The eye is drawn to our baby in my arms. (As an aside, the photos my girlfriend and I talk when she was pregnant were more explicit, but her dad did not see those.)

      Anyhow, thanks so much for a response. Honestly, we thought what we had done was tasteful and beautiful and we really were taken aback.

    • Sorry, this is the one:

      www.ebay.com/.../121993776093

    • Lol eBay of all places. It’s not hugely graphic or in your face ( ugh, the innuendo 🤦🏻‍♀️) and I can see the artistic merit - a big issue is socially we are so ingrained to not sexualise or expose children to sex that images like these will often make anyone but the parents see penis then baby... a parent sees a beautiful shot of a tender moment that just happened to be naked

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  • It is really fine! Do not worry about it! Having been brought up as a naturist, there is nothing wrong with nudity, even as a child. In fact, it made childhood "experimenting" irrelevant and pointless.

    Carry on with any photos you like. It is your immediate family's decision, and no one else's. Nudity is a beautiful state and, like us naturists, can be disassociated from sex. Outsiders and "textiles" find that hard to understand.

    • Thanks for your reply. We don't view it, as you do, as a lifestyle issue. (Though we actually do have some friends who are naturists and we have been to a naturist camp. The people were as friendly as welcoming as could be.) That said, we did see it as a beautiful way to remember something natural and wonderful in our lives and, as I say, I thought we had been tasteful and respectful of that beauty. Your input, from that perspective, has been enormously helpful and we thank you.

    • Thank you for MHG!

    • My pleasure. You earned it with a thoughtful and courteously expressed response. I truly appreciated it.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Seeing them without knowing why they are taken or the reason why you and her did them would enrage anyone.
    Maybe keep them hidden away in a special album people can’t find or just explain why they have been taken.

    • Well, as I say, we put them away and it was only by accident that he found them. It was not intentional and we never shared them with anyone other than each other. Why should it enrage someone? They were tender and loving. Not sexual and explicit.

    • I guess people see naked kids and naked adults (even if they are family) and assume bad, or maybe cause they wouldn’t do it assume it’s wrong

    • Okay, thanks. I guess I can see getting the wrong idea, but he knows us both - especially his daughter. Beyond that, as I said, the photos were artistic and not sexual. Even now I look at them - and it has been a long time - and I just see the people I love as nature intended us. It is hardly sexual though it is intimate I guess. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

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  • whay works for some doesn't work for others do I wouldn't hang them on walls people will think of my of you

    • Thanks for responding. As I mentioned, they were actually something that we had stored with other photographs and really had not looked at in quite a while. We certainly were not hanging them on the walls. That said, good advice.

    • forgot question you adked is in right spit family area get you lots of pissed people

    • Thanks - and I guess so. It really is strange. As I mentioned, my girlfriend and I thought the photos showed something beautiful and natural and innocent. Obviously, there is a sexual component - but it is between my girlfriend and I and, frankly, is how the baby got there. The focus of the photos is on the baby. The nudity to show the openness and the innocence and, as I say, the natural beauty. Two people in love and loving the life that they made together and that is the greatest gift two people in love can give to each other. In fact, I look at the photos now and am still awed that my girlfriend loves me so much that she would give me such a beautiful gift. (Now three times, actually.) I just don't see what was so bad about it. Thanks again for your reply.

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 5

  • I think the fundamental issue here is not whether it is, "good nor bad, but thinking makes it so". That is to say, I don't think it's bad, kind of cool and a good idea IMHO, but also, I'm a nudist and the majority of the USA and world population is not and frowns on nudity, public display of genitalia, &c. From my perspective, this is sexually repressed and "bad" poppycock, but that doesn't change the fact that it is mainstream ideology.

    So, it's "good" in that it's totally natural and beautiful.

    It's "bad" in that you are a freak/outlier from the mainstream and it's not popular, so it's therefore "wrong", because it's not what everyone else is doing.

    Nude Family Photos? Good or bad idea?

  • You did nothing wrong *and* you should not have let your father-out-of-law see them if you wanted to keep a good relationship with him. Yes, it is his fault he is overly hung up about such things, but you knew he disapproved of you living in sin already. Having a child is a miraculous and beautiful thing and, despite our white-washing, it actually does have a lot to do with genitals and naked bodies. Still, being right is not always enough.

    You were raised Catholic? Catholics seem to have more of a sense of humor about nudity than other Christians I've met. A Catholic once told me, with a wry smile, “If God had wanted us to go around naked, He wouldn't have given us clothes!”

    I wonder if your father-outlaw would be amenable to a youthful-innocence defense. "Mea culpa, we knew not what we did, and would never do it again." You don't need to feel ashamed of your photos, but just give him a plausible reason to forgive and forget about this.

    • Well, as I pointed out, it was not our intention to have him find the photos. That was an accident. Also, while my "father-in-law" and I have never really gotten along - he is not happy that his daughter and I are not married for starters but are happy just living together - I don't doubt that his heart is in the right place. As I mentioned, whatever our differences, he is a superb grandpa and I know that he loves his daughter. That all said, thanks for your input. We honestly did not feel we had done anything wrong and thought the photos were natural and beautiful with a sort of gentle purity. In that connection, I suppose my "father-in-law" is a Catholic without much of a sense of humor I guess.

    • I am glad to hear he loves his daughter. That gives me hope that things will work themselves out in the end. Likely, he'll find a way to just forget it ever happened. Or, you can try my Eden joke on him and see if he gets the irony. I should say, I think your father-in-or-out-of-law's opinion is less important than what you and your partner think. I hope you are not doubting yourselves for doing what felt right at the time and cherishing the photos of a new family, dressed in love, as God intended.

    • Thanks so much. You are very kind. Oh, and no, we don't have any regrets. We had not looked at those photos in a while and honestly, we still think they are beautiful. It is just that given that my gfd's dad is already not happy about us living together and having our children outside of marriage, we try not to upset the apple cart more than we have to. That said, it is nice to hear that there are folks out there - such as yourself - who understand where we are comin' from. We cannot - and would not - undo what we did. (Though as I say, we did not intend for him or anyone else to see those photos. They are something beautiful that my girlfriend and I shared only with ourselves.) Still, as you can understand, keeping the friction to a minimum is important and knowing that people see it as we did is helpful. Thanks again. By the way, if I could, I would give you an MHO. Really appreciated your insights - and your humor.

  • I think it's weird, but if you felt like it, I'm not gonna judge.

    • Thanks for replying, but why weird? The idea is that we are a family and that is something natural and beautiful.

  • I mean, there's nothing wrong with you two having them and keeping them to yourselves, you should have known better than have them somewhere her father could find them.

    • Thanks for replying. It was not intentional. We got to discussing family photos, went to the cabinet and pulled some albums down and in one of the albums was a bag with the photos. As I say, we never intentionally shared them with anyone.

    • Shouldn't have had them in there with the rest. 🤷

    • Well, that assumes that we knew that someday her father would be over and that we would discuss photos and that we would go to the cabinet and pull the albums - and specifically that album. Besides, honestly, I had half forgotten about them.

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  • I don't think the pictures were improper, but I do believe I would put them in an album with a clasp, or in the back of an album with a cheeky warning "Nothing but nature" or "Only what God has graced us with". Not loose in the same trunk as the other family photos.

  • I can understand it being a bit weird, I've taken a couple of pictures of her breastfeeding and wished I was comfortable enough to have a picture of us rather than just her, it was probably more due to bottom half nudity, though like you these pictures are currently on my phone and no one knows abou them

    • Yeah, we get it. However, they were tasteful and artistic and not at all lewd or sexual. Gosh knows, nudity is not unknown in art. (Think of Michelangelo's David, for example.) The reaction really surprised us. That said, we still have the photos and we still think that, in their way, they show something natural and beautiful.

    • I did a nude shoot of her with a professional and my nan reacted not angrily but like really shocked and weirded out about it... Well until she saw the photos and said they looked really nice

    • Well, you can understand a bit of surprise. It was just his anger that took us by surprise. For our part, we look at those photos and we see a man and a woman and their baby - natural and beautiful - as nature intended us to be. That may be just us and not everyone's thing. Frankly, when we tried it we were not sure how we would feel. However, it worked and though we did not do it again with our other two children, we look back on it as something sort of magical in its way.

  • I won’t say whether it was right or wrong to take the pictures but keeping them together with the public photos was a mistake. As with exchanging nudes (which we see referenced in gag often and I wrote a question on), once they are snapped, you can never fully control photographs or the eyes which see them.

    • You misunderstood a little bit. They were not online or anything like that. They were not even in a computer. They were in a drawer in a chest in our living room that no one, other than us, would have any occasion or reason to look into. It just so happened to be the place where we keep a lot of photos that we do not have in albums. It just so happened that as were going through the drawer that the photos - which we had not looked at in ages and that we had half forgotten were even in there - and they got pulled out. Slight outburst to follow. Even then, they were NOT sexual. The idea was to be a natural and beautiful family. Suffice to say, not all agreed.

    • I don’t believe I misunderstood at all “My gfd's dad was over the other day and for some reason we were going through our photo albums and he discovered these 9 year old photos.” Keeping those photos together with the public ones, was a mistake. Hence, you were not able to control the eyes which would see them.

    • They were NOT in a public place - unless you open the drawers in your house to anyone who happens to drop by. We keep the photos all in one place. It was pure dumb luck that we got to the bottom of the stack and there they were. You really can't call a closed drawer in a cabinet in the area between the living room and the family room public. At least not in this house. However, I'll be sure to drop by your house sometime.

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  • The whole penis thing is so weird.

    • Thanks for responding. Well, it was just that it was a longer shot to catch my torso. It does not emphasize my penis. In fact, I am holding the baby in my arms and am looking down at him.

    • I think we can all agree penises are, no matter the context, *so* weird. Still, it makes beautiful sense to me that a newly-minted mother and father might think it more pure to not cover it up for once. Also, I suspect the grandpa was freaked out not as much by having to see another guy's junk as accidentally seeing a photo of his naked daughter. That's got to bring up some mixed emotions!

    • @abananabag That's a good point. Thanks again.

  • Having nude family pics is very nice and memorable. We have plenty of such pics, all for personal pleasure.

  • I'd class this as a private family activity involving new parents. Not every society is so closed minded about nakedness, and so paranoid about abuse.

    • Thanks. Well, it is obviously something that my girlfriend and I would not have intentionally shared - and as I mentioned - her dad is not thrilled about our living together anyhow. (Though over the years, three grandchildren have mellowed him and, truthfully, I would have to say that he is a tremendous and loving grandpa.) Still, it took us aback because to us it looked artistic and natural and loving. They were not at all lewd or sexual. So as much as anything I was wondering - and I wrote this quite a while back - if people would see it that way or if the more negative interpretation would be the way people saw it. Honestly, I look at those photos now and all I see is two people very much in love and over the moon about their new baby. It really never hit me that it might be seen any other way. Thanks for your input. I am not sure I would draw big social conclusions from the episode, but it was a surprise.

  • I think it's fine it's your family 😀

  • Art is very personal. I say the eBay example and did not understand it, but naked art is not my style. If you say it as artistic and you love it, enjoy them! Do them again! If you are worried about people finding them make a special album to just enjoy with your wife.

    • Thanks for your response.

  • Ummm no.

    • Uhmm, no, "not a good idea" or Uhmm, no, "he had no business losing his cool"? Thanks.

  • Creepy as fuck.

    • Don't mince words, what do you really think? Thanks for replying.

  • What exactly was the reason for the anger in the argument... what was the issue with the nude pictures?

    It’s between you and your girlfriend what you do and don’t do right?
    Your children never have to know about them or see them if it’d weird them out (which if probably might).

    • Well, we have lived together for over a decade and all three children are out of wedlock and her dad is a Navy veteran and devout Catholic. (We actually attend Church too, albeit that we don't take the sacraments.) I think that part of it is that he is just that kind of a guy. Traditional and not quite in tune with where we are. Partly we understand it. It is more a matter of his reaction being so strong. The guy is not illiterate and certainly he could see that these were artistic and not sexual. (In fact, although he and I are not close, I would say that he has mellowed and that he is an excellent grandpa. As loving and gentle and fun as a grandchild could ask for.) As to our kids, they are young right now, but as they get older I would not go out of my way to show them the shots, but I would not worry if they did. They have seen mommy and daddy naked before - it is not a lifestyle with us, but we tend to be a little casual about it. (My dad was a doctor and he tended to treat nudity as just another day at the office and so I grew up with a more relaxed attitude than you see in most American families.) Bottom line, though, as I said elsewhere, I get it. Mostly we were just surprised at how strong his reaction was and the bruhaha that followed. Of course, as you may have noted, this was a while back and we are actually past it. Yet at the time, it was quite an outburst.

    • That’s what I’m trying to understand, the specifics beyond what you’ve stated as to why it was such a strong outburst. I can’t help you without knowing that. But I suppose all you can do is keep them private around others who don’t share similar views. Seems the only solution from this.

    • Yes, we are not entirely sure either, but definitely we don't show the photos to just anyone. Her dad would not have even see them had it not been just a coincidence.

  • No, very no bad not good idea.

    (Ps: you shouldn't)

    Nude Family Photos? Good or bad idea?

    • Loved your "Ps." I think you made your point. However, the why would have been more interesting.

      here is an example of the kind of thing I am talking about:

      www.ebay.com/.../121993776093

      This is not me, by the way. In any case, hardly obscene.

    • P. S. Sorry - here is the proper link: www.ebay.com/.../121993776093

    • Figured the why wasn't needed in my response. Much like me responding with "Don't" when asked if its a good idea to play landmine hopscotch. (Ps: your link loaded a e-bay error page.)

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  • Having your genitals on show for family photos is extremely weird and unsettling.

    • Thanks for responding. Well, as I noted, the focus was not on my genitals. It was just a few longer angle torso shots. Specifically a two of me standing and three laying on the floor - and in one case the grass - holding the baby in my arms or laying on my chest. We also had shots with my girlfriend down to her torso and as I said, breastfeeding. Does that make a difference?

    • Breastfeeding is fine, but I think having male or female genitals on show in a family photo is weird.

    • Well, here is an example of the kind of thing I am talking about:

      www.ebay.com/.../121993776093

      This is not me, by the way. In any case, hardly obscene.

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