Is being a 50 year old virgin strange?

[YogiBear2k2]

OK, as the tile says, I am a 50 year old virgin and never had a girlfriend or seen a real life woman naked. I am straight, even to the point in I do not like men very much, specially in porn. I find them too brash and bullying. I don't even use the urinals in the men's room. Anyway, that's beside the point. I do watch a lot of porn (probably too much,) but, like most people, I also have sexual fantasies. I would love to even see a real life woman naked, even if it does not mean having sex with her. I am kind, generous. I love romantic comedies and films where boys and girls fall in love. And especially weepy films. I cry like a baby at them and do not care who knows it. Perhaps that is the problem? Perhaps women do not like men who are not typical guys? You know, come home expecting food on the table. Never help around the house, never do anything to help her. But, that is not me. I will ALWAYS help anyone if I am able. I always give to charities (when I can afford, too,) always help around the house, love D. I. Y. I have tried dating sites but with no luck. SO, s do I still have hope or should I just give up because it is too late? Thank you so much for reading and replying if you are able to.

[Effably]

Yup. Its strange. There. Said it. And we might as well admit that because any woman you date will ask you why. That is not to say they (or people in general) will view you as some sort of freak or failure, there will simply be a curiosity that you need to answer. There are some good and some bad answers.

Reading your description I more or less instantly took a problem with your suggested excuses. Because they did not sound like a potential explanation to me but rather some make-believe you tell yourself. Women have no problem with a caring, empathetic man. Especially as we climb a little in years those qualities become very sought after.

You are very obviously reaching out and trying to be honest and I admire that. Really. That'd kickass mate. However the reason that you're a virgin at your age is you. Almost certainly it is you waiting around for things to happen and not taking enough initiative.

Now as for moving forward: If all you want is some experience there are some very easy alternatives that you might not like.

If you just want experience without directly paying for it you are actually a bit of a unicorn and a novelty and that alone might very well be enough to land you a night with someone more kinky.

And if you, as I suppose you do, want an actual lasting relationship with the whole package then you need to re-evaluate your methods and how you portray yourself. I believe at least one definition of idiocy is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome.

[YogiBear2k2]

Fair enough. I disagree with part of your answer and I will explain why. A bit of a long winded answer, but, as you were very kind enough to give me a long honest answer, I will answer you back with a long, but honest answer. When I was 18/19 I was at a thing we used to have here in the U. K. called a Youth Club. Kind of like a disco for teenagers. Anyway, there was this girl who was always bragging about not having any problem with men. She would date any man just so she could say she wasn't single, because being single back then was looked upon as pretty weird. Anyway (I kind of used that word too much but, hey ho,) one of my friends back then said we would give to £10 (which was a lot of money back then,) if she would kiss 8 of us guys on the lips. I happened to be number 6. Anyway (there's that damn word again,) she agreed and we all stood there in a line. She did the first 5 no problem, but, when it came to me she just flat out refused to do it. She said she would be sick if she kissed me, and then went on to kiss the other 2 no problem. Now, you would think that I would be hurt or my ego shot, but, no. Actually I talked to her afterwards and she apologized, but said that even she had limits and I was it. I told her not to be sorry and said I completely understand and we left it like that. Suffice to say she never got her £10! And I have about 5 more stories of the same sort of thing, but I won;t bore you with them here. As far as pay for it there is no way! I would like it to because the woman liked me not just because I bought her. And as far as (quote,) "I believe at least one definition of idiocy is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome," (unquote,) I used to, but you can only do that so many times! Anyway, (that flipping word gets everywhere!) thank you for your in-depth reply!

[Drumlin2001]

Never too late. I was a 35yr old virgin, didn't see it changing.
For me it was a real difficult thing to be honest and open with someone. I was fortunate, i got a second chance with soemone i'd had a connectikn with. Still, I had to dig deep to come clean about everything (i'd never had a kiss or any othet sexual activity). She gave me time to work things through, was a hard journey, worth it though. And even though she did end up breaking my heart a bit, i was a different person from the experience. I've now been with someone new for 9 months and we're going good

[Soft4u]

I'd say being a 50 year old virgin is unusual, not strange or making the assumption there's a problem with you in anyway. It happens for various reasons, you're not in a relationship or married not by choice by never having the opportunity present itself. There's so many guys and girls not in relationships for no other reason than not finding the right person to tie yourself to for long term.
If I were you I'd never give up, giving up a day before it happens would be sad, you never know what's around the corner.
Believe me there's a girl out there waiting for you all you need to do is find her.

[YogiBear2k2]

Are you her? :-P) No, seriously, thanks for the reply. Well they do say, apparently that there is someone out there for everyone. Love you profile picture, by the way.

[Soft4u]

I guess the most important thing is not to give up, maybe get out more or go places where it's populated by girls. Your first sexual encounter will be amazing, and quick so try to enjoy it.

[Soft4u]

Thank you!

[Just_a_human]

I think it's pretty cool to be a 50 year old virgin. You've gone this long without it. I think libido goes down at a certain age so in a few years you probably won't even care.

[Year3000]

That’s sooo sad and not cool at all

[Year3000]

I would usually laugh even but feel pity for any real 40+ virgins

[Just_a_human]

@Year3000 I wouldn't see it as a big deal, I'd think it was cool

[Just_a_human]

@Year3000 what's wrong with being a 40 year old virgin?

[Year3000]

Sex develops character and he won’t have a family just die alone with nobody by his side.

[Just_a_human]

@Year3000 how does it develop character?

[Year3000]

Because it’s emotional and risky it brings men to themselves.

[Just_a_human]

@Year3000 what?

[Year3000]

You need to be a guy to understand just hear me it does develop character.

[Just_a_human]

@Year3000 When I see "develops character", I see "it inflates your ego so you can be more of an A-hole". At least that's how I interpret it.

[Year3000]

Why do you think that? Interesting.

[Just_a_human]

@Year3000 Observations in a change of personality after engaging in sexual activity, mostly inflation of arrogance mostly, but this may be because they're young. It might be different for older males.

[YogiBear2k2]

LOL, yes you are probably right. Perhaps I think I want it more than I do. But, as I stated in one answer, it;s not really the sex part anymore, it's the companionship.

[YogiBear2k2]

@Year3000 Really, why is that? Why would you laugh at someones inabilities? That's not really fair is it? Are you saying you are perfect and do not have any inabilities? Everyone has them. Nobody is good at everything. But just laughing at someone with an inability not to be able to do something is hardly helping. But, hey, that's cool. We all can have opinions right? No-one is right or wrong. Everyone has different reactions to the same problems. Some laugh, so ignore, some help etc. That's what makes this world a nice place to be in (sometimes!)

[Year3000]

I said I wouldn’t laugh

[Year3000]

There is nothing funny about that it’s soooo depressing

[YogiBear2k2]

@Year3000 Thank you so very much! And thank you for your support! This is THE BEST response here so far! Your banter with Year3000 was brilliant! I am a guy and even I don't know what he meant! Perhaps he thinks having sex makes him more manly? I just hope one day he grows up and realizes that women are people to, not just sexual objects. There to please a man whenever he wants it. I hate bullies. Thank you! Your response has really cheered me up! :-) I wish I could give you 3 thumbs up!

[YogiBear2k2]

Sorry, that was suppose to be for Just_a_Human. Not that your answer wasn't OK , but her answer was the best so far. Thank you again.

[YogiBear2k2]

Thank you so very much! And thank you for your support! This is THE BEST response here so far! Your banter with Year3000 was brilliant! I am a guy and even I don't know what he meant! Perhaps he thinks having sex makes him more manly? I just hope one day he grows up and realizes that women are people to, not just sexual objects. There to please a man whenever he wants it. I hate bullies. Thank you! Your response has really cheered me up! I wish I could give you 3 thumbs up!

[YogiBear2k2]

@Year3000 Yes, Sorry.

[YogiBear2k2]

@Just_a_human Sorry, for some unknown reason (my stupidity,) I wasn't able to replay to you! But, hopefully this will! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWER! It was amazing and think you for the support! You have really made my day! I would love to give you 3 thumbs up if I could!

[YogiBear2k2]

@Year3000 Sorry. Not that your answer wasn't good, just the Just_A_Human hit the nail on the head so to speak with her answer! But, again, thank you and sorry. I am a noob and make mistakes. I am human, too, funnily enough!

[Riggers]

If it’s bothering you just pay a prostitute or an escort I guess

[YogiBear2k2]

No, I would never want to buy sex. And, to be honest it's not the sex part i really want, just female companionship. Thank you!

[jeffjeffjeffjeffjeff]

You might not like it, but you could try a brothel.

[YogiBear2k2]

No, I would never want to buy sex. And, to be honest it's not the sex part i really want, just female companionship.

[YogiBear2k2]

Thank you!

[JimmyInSpace]

Well what is the specific problem?
Erectile dysfunction?
Hard to talk to women?
Women don't find you attractive?

There are solutions. But can't say without knowing what the problem is.

[YogiBear2k2]

OK, one by one. 1. Erectile dysfunction? I would't know, I have not had the chance to find out. 2. Hard to talk to women? Definitely NOT! I much prefer talking to women than men. 3. Women don't find you attractive? BINGO! But, it is just looks, I have been told that quite a few times. Even when I asked my next-door neighbour out just before Christmas. She said sorry, I had a nice personality, but she didn't want to be seen with me. I totally understood. Thanks for the time to reply!

[JimmyInSpace]

Ok well what's the problem with the looks? For example if you're overweight you could lose weight (eat plants + Count calories.). Or you could just date a woman that is maybe not the most physically attractive but has a good personality.

[jacquesvol]

A co-worker married one.

[YogiBear2k2]

Aww that's sweet. I hope they are still together. And at least it gives me a little hope. Thanks!

[outside_Toronto]

Yes it is

[YogiBear2k2]

Thank you for your time to answer.

[OfDeath]

Who do you help around the house?

[YogiBear2k2]

My neighbors, when they ask me, which isn't very frequently, but when I lived at home I did the housework, the gardening and any D. I. Y that needed doing. Thanks for the reply.

[sasukeuchiha7]

Well it's not that strange cause monks do live their whole lives virgin.
Even Captain America was a 70 year old virgin.

[YogiBear2k2]

Yes, but, sadly, Captain America was a fictional character. And I doubt the actor who played him was a virgin! Thanks for the reply.

[sasukeuchiha7]

Ya I was just using the first random example that popped into my head. I'm just saying, if you have a proper reason for it you don't need to be ashamed.

[Straight_Shooter]

Yes, that's pretty unusual to the point of being weird.

[YogiBear2k2]

Thank you for the time to answer.

[Anonymous]

I would think it's not that unusual, probably more cases like this than we think but just not talked about much due to the stigma

[Anonymous]

Not responding to a single reply on here, might shed some light on your predicament.

[YogiBear2k2]

I know, but, sadly, I do have a life other than replying to peoples answers on here. And, to be fair it's only 7 hours. Not like it's been days! Are you anon for a reason? Have you got something to hide? Just a thought. I don;t understand why anyone would need to go anon on a forum? But, hey, I am sorry. It's your business. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

It's strange because you haven't just hired an escort. I decided it was too old to be virgin at 21.

But I bet you haven't made much effort to maximize your chances. For example physical appearance, getting used to talking with women and get to know them. You just rather assume it's because you are not a typical guy. And watching porn in your case is definitely a problem.

[YogiBear2k2]

No, I talk to a lot of women. In fact I talk to a lot more women than men. I have about 30 female acquaintances and only about 3 male, so talking to women is not a problem. I prefer talking to women. And, why should physical appearance matter? That's only if you are shallow. Surely, personality is far more important. Anyway, thanks for the reply.