Sexual Relationships
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Should I ask my boyfriend to get tested (again)?

So me and my boyfriend haven’t been dating really long but we’ve done stuff but we haven’t had sex. A little while ago I wanted him to get tested because he’s had 3 sexual partners. He told me he was never opposed to getting tested but just offended by some things that were said in that conversation (about details of his sexual history that aren’t important in this question). Like I said earlier, He’s only had sex 3 times with 3 different girls (prior to us dating). And has alway used a condom. However, he told me one time it broke and the girl just told him to go in bare (no condom). This was 3 years ago so any symptoms of some STD or infections would’ve shown up by now. We both feel like we’re ready to have sex soon or in a little while because it’s hard for us to have privacy (not important details). I feel weird asking him to get tested again since we haven’t talk about it in a while. I totally trust him but like I mentioned before it was 3 years ago, but some STD, like herpes don’t show up for a while or don’t show any symptoms so people don’t know they have it. We’re obviously going to use protection like condoms (and birth control to prevent pregnancy) but I’m scared that the condom could break. I really like him and would stay with him even if he had something minor because I really like him, obviously be very careful when we’re having sex. But I’m just scared. Ultimately should I ask him to get tested again? Also I’m a virgin and he knows that (pretty obviously when we were doing stuff), but should I get tested as well so I don’t make him feel bad, even though feel like its a waste of money. Also I want to give him a blowjob but feel uneasy because of this. Sorry that this is long af but I need help!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Totally reasonable for you to ask him to get tested. You can be somewhat careful in how you approach the topic based on your previous conversation, but basically just be direct with him... it's your first time having sex, it has nothing to do with not trusting him but just want to be overly cautious and that it'll make you more comfortable sexually, and if he's a mature dude he'll totally understand that. Offer to go with him to the doc if that'll help!

    • And yeah if you ask him if he'd like you to get tested that might make him feel more comfortable about the whole thing. I have a different question but kinda similar that I'm curious to get your opinion about. If you don't mind will you send me a message from my profile page or give me a follow so I can message you to try to explain?

  • A person can get a STD even if wearing a condom. While condoms do a lot to protect, they don't stop every kind of STD, and of course, being as one he used broke, then he could have gotten a STD then too. Also, not everybody who has a STD has symptoms, and they can carry the disease for years without knowing they have it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Get tested as well, even if you feel like it's a waste of money. Go get tested together or get your resuts first and then ask him to do the same. Getting tested should be the norm, so he shouldn't get offended by that. Make it look like a routine normal thing to be done before having sex for the first time.

  • Actually, not all STIs have noticeable symptoms.

    Just simply tell him that both of you need a full panel of STD tests done, set a date for the testing. Take no shit about it. Just say "this is happening". Don't get into the "why" of it.

    You should both also get your Gardasil vaccinations.

  • Sure. You both should. Just schedule physical exams and request the blood tests be done. My guy and I both did prior to deciding condomless sex.

    • Do u know if you could go to planned parenthood for this? And if it would show up on the insurance bill?

    • I’m not sure but it’s certainly worth the toll free call Planned Parenthood tel:+1-800-230-7526

    • Thank you

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 7

  • Are you willing to get tested, too?

  • What does it matter how many people he has been with? You should always get tested before sleeping with someone new.

  • You can ask him and he should be okay with it, however I doubt he has anything. And if he did have herpes with no symptoms you would not contract it anyway I don't think...

    • nevermind you can lol

  • Ask him to get tested, if he is offended by it he can get over it.

  • Have him get a test and you offer as well. Virgin or not. REmind him that any one of those girls could have lied or didn't know. Symptoms can be a year or longer depending on what you get.

  • Lol you can ask him to get tested but I doubt he has anything.. I'd be offended my self though.. I'd probably demand you get tested too..

    • Is this private message?

    • What do you mean?

    • How do u pm someone?

    • Show All

  • The fact that you offered to get tested too is big. That way it doesn’t sound like you don’t trust him.
    He should agree to that. When all your questions are answered, it’s time to have some fun.

  • Never hurts!

  • Both go together so it is not a big deal. He is most like probably just fine. People worry so much about it.

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