When it comes to your online dating profile picture, how much time do you typically put into looking good for the picture?

Question

Many men complain about how OkCupid studies show that women rate men lower in terms of physical attractiveness. I say it's because men don't put as much effort/time into their physical appearance as women do.

ChurchOfIron · Accepted Answer

It's not because women are more shallow than men, but it is because women are naturally only default attracted to the top 20% of men. It's the same thing on Tinder or other dating apps.

The thing is, women do not base value on appearance as much as they do "demonstrations of value." So, yes, when it comes to physical appearance, women have very, very, very, very high standards and are only immediately drawn to the most attractive of top tier men. 80% of women are going for only the top 20% of men.

Other men must "demonstrate value". Signs that other women have okay'd him. Signs that he has a social group. The types of clothes he wears. The places he has visited. Etc, etc.

Physically speaking, men are much more realistic in their views of female beauty. If you see the OkCupid stats, you see that men rated 50% of women as "below average attractiveness." This makes statistical sense. But, do you think that 50% of women simply didn't put that much effort into their appearance?

I believe you're side-stepping the issue. It's a very real one. But, again, it's not because women are shallow. It's because women are looking for other qualities aside from the physical. Which you can view in a positive light, yes? Only being attracted to men who have good lives. On the same hand, it is somewhat shallow, because you can be pretty sure women aren't looking at men who are less progressed in life than they are. That makes sense, and there's nothing wrong with that. But one could view it as shallow.

Meanwhile, we could say men are significantly more shallow, because they're basing their decision *mostly* on physical appearance, most likely.

Now, for some reason, we think this is more shallow than rating someone based on their *mental* appearance. However, they are really both God-given traits, in a sense, so I don't see the difference in shallowness.

But ultimately, humans are shallow. That's besides the point. It's *understandable*.

And this is something men need to understand. And women, too. Women are not men. They do not think like men. They do not guage value like men do. We are looking for different things. And no, women aren't only looking for that paycheck [but it helps]. And no, men aren't only looking for the physical [but it helps], but a lot of them are.

I'm a pretty attractive man, but I am not in the top 20%. And my experiences over years of messing around with dating profiles. Yeah. I don't think it's a result of effort put in. It's a result of fundamentally different natures. Women cannot calculate a man's value accurately with pictures. They need words and body language.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I spent several hours on my profile and pictures, initially. I reviewed and revised it periodically and I also asked a female user who was not interested to give me some candid feedback on her reaction to my profile. I had great success with online dating and I am now living with a woman who I met on POF.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

I've never done online dating but I have to agree with men online not caring to much about their appearance. I noticed this just by simple looking at online dating profiles out of curiosity or the ones that talk about it on youtube. This guy had on a hat with sunglasses on and a hoodie yet was complaining about women not saying anything to him for two years. Well why would I contact or even reply to you if your're profile picture says "it's not that deep, im just here for the hell of it". I'm saying they have to dress like they are going to the red carpet but at least spiffy up a little bit.

DianaWest · Accepted Answer

i don't have an account. i'd rather meet the person in real life. you get all sorts of psycho on the internet. psychos can be met in real life as well, but i dunno. it's a tad harder to fake everything when you are staring someone in the face as opposed to through a screen. but to answer your question: i always look like shit in most pics, so i dunno. i'd need to spend a looonnnnnggg time. probably half an hour at least. because i've been told that i look better in real life. like hella better. Thank God.

Paris13 · Answer

"D" For DYNOMITE PIX. xxoo

CharlieBadger · Answer

I just use pictures I already have that I think look good. Most often taken by someone else.

Study after study shows that women prefer men who are not smiling and who are not looking at the camera. Those pics are hard to capture of yourself.

SandyRay · Answer

2 minutes. I know women who on a scale of 1-10 rate a guy who's a 7, a 4. But the women are 4's and rate themselves a 7

DarkxAngel20 · Answer

Online dating is useless. It’s better to meet a partner in person from the start.

Electric_Dreams · Answer

"but really it's because men don't put nearly as much effort into their physical appearance, as women do."

You can't possibly know that from this brief study. You've essentially discovered a scrap of information by asking a very small number of people, and then have decided that the information you've found directly correlates to men's struggles on dating sites.

A fact is that most women on dating sites receive rampantly abundant messages, while most men receive very little. Most men send out a lot of messages but get very few if any responses because of how fierce the competition is, because of just how many other guys they are competing with.

Dating sites are a vapid, shallow complete disaster in my opinion. I just think the whole principle is terrible, so I don't use them.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

My fiance gave me a large collection of pics he took of me. They're all in an unzipped folder called "Use These" which is available through our network server.

sarahburberryy · Answer

I don't take dating on-line seriously.

Secret6620 · Answer

Don't use dating apps.

coachTanthony · Answer

Once people stop taking selfies in their bathroom toothpaste stained mirrors... then they might have a shot. This goes for both women and men.

LoU_Hades · Answer

I never needed online dating, hence I don't look really with serious intentions on pictures at such sites. For me takes it less than a second to determine if a person is attractive or not.

princessfromjupiter · Answer

For tinder I used to recycle photos from my Instagram and for Instagram I would be pretty serious because I have a very aesthetically pleasing Instagram 😂😂 lot of art & architecture so the occasional selfie needed to be art as well you see

J2ohhhhh · Answer

My whole life, I guess. Eating healthy, drinking water all day, not smoking, going to sleep early, do sports.

Shark_61695 · Answer

I don't take selfies and generally only have photos taken of me at events where I have to put effort into looking average. I also find casual photos more attractive than the same pose in 5 different outfits infront of a mirror.
I always look fake when even attempting a prepared photo.

AnimeMan205 · Answer

Sorry, I don't date... yet.

Giggletr0n · Answer

I am not very photogenic so I just keeping hitting the camera button until I get a good selfie, against a plain back drop

genericname85 · Answer

i don't take pictures for dating sites specifically. i just take good pictures that happen anyway, so there's no "extra" work i put in for the dating sites.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I just find a picture where I look normal and that's it

bhavy24 · Answer

5 min or less

Jamie05rhs · Answer

One second. I looked at the camera. My friend clicked the button. That's it.

clampfan101 · Answer

I try to make myself look nice, but not beyond my usual look. I don’t want to give unnecessary expectations.

When it comes to your online dating profile picture, how much time do you typically put into looking good for the picture?

Most Helpful Guys

Most Helpful Girls

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Latest Questions