If a woman can only orgasm from receiving oral, then is it fair for her man to expect oral in return, even if he's already orgasming from penetration?

[PinkMichae]

I think it's very unfair to expect anyone to give them oral sex. Some men and women don't like giving oral. So you shouldn't expect them to do something they are either grossed out by or are uncomfortable with.

There are other ways to make a woman orgasm that can't have an orgasm from penetration. He can stimulate her clit with his fingers or a clit massager.

I think it's even more unreasonable to expect your partner to give you oral because it's what you prefer when you aren't willing to give it yourself. If your partner likes to give it then great. But you don't give them expectations. If a man tried doing that to me he would find himself in the no sex zone effective immediately.

[MissKittyz]

It isn't about being fair or not. It is about pleasing yourself AND your partner. Sex isn't supposed to be a selfish act where you only care about your own orgasm. It is about exploring each other's pleasure and body. Especially if you guys are dating. maybe during casual sex, sure, you can focus on your own pleasure and that's fair. But in a relationship? It doesn't hurt you to try to please your partner as much as you can

[tenukitanuki]

Who cares about this imaginary fairness? I hope your men leave you for being selfish and contorting facts to meet your whims. Why would he stay if another will lovingly provide what he wants, a mirror reflection of your own selfish desire?

Honestly, you likely don't care and just want any form of praise and attention. This whole question is like a shrine to your own justification, any disagreement becomes transmuted into a strawman fallacy.

Freudian obviousness. You get off only from oral because it is like worship and you crave that. It's mad obvious. Just become a Domme and bother the men who want to deal with mental illness as a fetish.

[hellionthesagereborn]

No. Its not fair to deny your partner something that will please them. Obviously their are limits of course, but if your not trying to make your partner happy then you really shouldn't be with them. If he can only orgasm from say anal sex and she doesn't want to do that, should she have to do that or should she give in? You have to work with the person and their is going to be some give and take in that. Its about compromise and sacrifice.

[lumos]

I don't think sex should be about orgasms, expectations and what's "fair". If you go into sex with that type of mindset, it's likely that you won't find it very enjoyable, and in the end it wouldn't surprise me if sex just became a competition for orgasms. And that, to me, sounds extremely sad.
To me, sex is about enjoying yourself but also making your partner feel good. Instead of seeing it as a competition where you're only looking out for yourself and making sure you have your "win", it should be seen as a fun activity you do *together* with your partner. That's why sexual compatibility is important, what one person considers "fun" might not be another person's definition of fun. And that's why you can't go into sex having expectations. You can't expect everyone to like what you like, and have them compromise for you. Instead, you should try to find a partner who has the same sexual needs and wants as you do.
If a woman doesn't like giving oral, then she shouldn't have to feel obligated to do oral. But if the only way she can orgasm is through oral, then it would make sense for her to look for a partner who enjoys giving oral and doesn't mind if he gets it or not. If she's with a man who likes getting oral but hates giving it, well, then she has picked a partner who's sexually incompatible with her. There's nothing "fair" or "unfair" about the situation, because she always has the choice to move on and find someone who's more compatible with her sexual needs. You can't force someone to perform oral on you against their will, just because that happens to be the only way you can orgasm.
At the end of the day, sex really is just about having fun. As long as you feel like you're getting what you want out of it, and you're happily making your partner feel satisfied and wanted (within your own comfort zone of course), then you have a healthy framework for what enjoyable and good sex is. Then you'll realize it's not about what's "fair" or who's having more orgasms, or who's getting orgasms more easily. Sex can be super enjoyable without orgasms too, as long as you're having fun together. Keeping any sort of scoreboard instantly kills a part of the fun. It's all about communication.

[GFNimbuscloud]

Option B kinda makes me sad that you perceive oral as an unpleasant activity. Some girls are into oral, either the act itself, or just the idea of giving pleasure to their partner. Honestly, I don't think I'd want a blowjob from a woman who doesn't like giving them.

Technically I think it's 'fair' to make her cum if she makes you cum. I fucking hate score keeping in relationships though. If I'm gonna go down on someone, it's because I want to, because I find it fun and exciting to be able to elicit reactions from her, and because I want to give her pleasure. I don't ever want it to feel like an obligation, just like I don't want her to feel obligated to slobber on my nob. When sex becomes a chore, I'll stop having sex.

I don't know that I agree that penetration is the best way to make a guy climax. I definitely disagree if you're applying it to every guy. I was reading an article by a sex therapist about how she hand her husband rarely ever had intercourse, they preferred giving each other oral, and it made their sex-lives better. If we're talking about averages here... maybe, but I don't know enough, and wouldn't put money on it.

Also, I see that you constantly have trouble with being accused of being a troll. Not to get all up in your bidness... but I'd totally just ignore those people, I don't think they're worth your time or frustration.

[JackSmy]

My first thought, is that is it BS, that she can only orgasm from oral!! Seems like nonsense, to me!! More likely, she can only orgasm from oral from the one she is with!!
Maybe he is a 'One Trick Pony' and she needs a Stud, that knows how to show her things about her body that she might not know, and that guy obviously doesn't!!
Anyone thinking that relationships are a Zero-sum game, are doomed to fail!! Relationships aren't about 'Score-keeping'!!
I hate receiving oral, but I love giving her and giving her squealing orgasms!! Fair? FCK yeah!! She loves it, I like doing it for her!!
She teases me with what she wears, and some think she is a 'slut', but we know each other, and it works for us.
Fair? Doesn't apply!! Who thought up the concept of 'Fair' anyway?
Life isn't 'Fair'!!

[WalsallGuy90]

Sex, like most things in life, is all about give and take. If you want to have good sex with a partner then you both need to be communicating what you both want and what makes you both aroused, and if it happens to be that a particular act gets one of you off but not the other then yeah, it's unfair to expect the other person to do the thing that they aren't comfortable with just because you're doing it for them. I would never expect a girl to give me oral just because I've given them the same, but I would expect her to tell me what she likes and I would tell her what I like, so we both know how to make sure the other is enjoying it all. Outright expecting something isn't fair to the partner and shouldn't be the case.

[sensual123]

I give a woman oral sex because I enjoy giving her pleasure. I would do it even if I didn't get anything in return, even penetration. I enjoy giving oral sex for it's own sake, exploring her clitoris and taking time over it. There is no pressure of performance, no thinking how long am I going to last, just a slow focusing on her arousal and - if she does orgasm - the satisfaction of knowing that I did that for her.

Oral is a nice way to start sex, to give the woman pleasure first. If we start with penetration and I cum before her, then I finish with oral so she's satisfied. But if I give oral and she doesn't want to do anything else in return that's her choice and I'm happy with it.

[ImagineSketchy]

Sex wouldn't be fun if only one side gets something that they enjoy. Oral isn't always the best way to pleasure the female genitalia. Each woman is different. I've met multiple that flat out did not enjoy oral on them whatsoever from anyone they have been with, both male female and/or anything in between. Some just like fingers, some actually get off very well from penetration, etc. Based on the alignment of the clitoris, as it is the "pleasure buzzer" and where most pleasure comes from; if it's close enough to the vulva entrance, penetration could be rather effective for them. Again though, each woman is different, the general layout is the same, but the details are different, like a car. They are all unique pieces.
Again, it just wouldn't be right to deny something in sex purely because they have another way of getting off. It just isn't fun. If you love them, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just do it if it doesn't hurt you, etc.

[slatyb]

What's "fair" is unimportant. What is important is what you are both willing to accept in a relationship. If he wants oral sex from you, and you would prefer not to do it, there are only three possible outcomes: you stay together and he goes without, you stay together and you give perform oral sex, or you break up. I do not advise you to stay together if one of you is going to be constantly frustrated or resentful. Sexual compatibility is important. If you can't find a mutually satisfactory arrange, then it's better to just say "We aren't sexually compatible" and separate. Good luck.

[boggboss]

Lol it just goes hand in hand if it's just a random fuck then sure this ain't a issue but when having sex you consider yours and your partners enjoyment not just your solo objective to finish at the end off the day any partner would be a little disheartened if they have to give oral but won't revive any in turn

[0112358]

If we're counting fairness, does that mean men must stop stimulating women who can have multiple orgasms before they have a multiple, to keep things fair? Or if she orgasms 3 times, does that mean I then fuck her 3 times before she gets oral again?

What if she likes kissing then oral, is that two acts, so I can pick two acts? Why does the number of acts matter?

Maybe it's more fair to spend similar amounts of time on each other? If one partner wants oral, then more oral, well that's there choice, but if the other wants half one act half another, it doesn't mean they're being spoiled.

Realistically, if she's not enthusiastic about sex or oral and basically views any sex act on me as something she has to do in exchange for oral, I don't want to have sex with her, even if she's willing to trade. That's terrible.

[Anpu23]

First I REALLY dislike receiving oral, and to ask someone to do something that they don't like is fine, demanding it is another thing.
But sexually demanding an act that you won't do yourself is just selfish. If someone finds something pleasurable exchanging pleasure should be a gift. To say that they orgasm by... and that should be enough... his response could be that masturbation gives you an orgasm so that should be enough. Would you find that fair and equitable? Of course not. Why is it okay for you to put those kinds of demands on him?

[ChurchOfIron]

That's up to you. I don't give a fuck. You're already not sucking my dick, so it doesn't matter, to me. If my chick wouldn't, then I wouldn't either. *shrug* I'd do my best, but at the same time, it's a mutual thing, to me.

So, individual on individual basis. If that's your line, that's your line. And if it's my line, it's my line. Fairness is gonna be defined differently depending on the people involved. Clearly.

[Pamina]

Fair? If sexual favors are an obligation in a relationship, then there's something wrong with that relationship.

But that aside, I personally can't get my head around why someone wouldn't want to perform oral on their partner who they love and supposedly find sexually attractive. It just makes zero sense to me.

[LoU_Hades]

I gave once credit in matter of oral sex to a girl, I do often oral while foreplay to bring a girl to the edge. After I asked her for a BJ she refused and told me a story that her former partner forced her to this and she doesn't want do it. So I stopped to give her this favor, gave her finger and hand clit massage instead. Two weeks later she changed her mind about oral without forcing her to something.
However sex wasn't our problem at all.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is "fair" implies a sense of obligation to do certain things if your partner also does certain things. A good relationship is about WANTING to make your partner happy and satisfied, not doing something for your partner because it is required by some societal sense of "fairness."

[EpicDweeb]

... Gonna be honest... I hate oral sex. It doesn't feel that good and I don't like that I'm the only one receiving pleasure from it. I'd much rather give oral than receive it so I'd gladly give oral without expecting it in return... actually I'd rather she didn't give it in return =/

[TadCurious]

No I don't agree with you on that. Much better that the girl in your scenario work toward a more healthy acceptance of her male partner's penis and overcome her irrational squeamishness about having it in her mouth. She should aspire to the kind of healthy acceptance her male partner has for vulva, which leads to his willingness and desire to give her oral pleasure.

[George4love]

I do everything which give my girlfriend mind blowing orgasm, no matter it's her vagina inner or outside, her underarms, her anal hole i kiss or suck every inch of my girlfriend which give her real taste of sex or orgasm because I want she miss everytime me when she is alone at bed 🛏 💕 💕 💕 💕

[Junior42]

I would give oral and I would like to get oral i mean fair is fair in my opinion but u can't force her to suck ur dick but I've had a girl say i dont dont do that and i said i don't like to do it either but i still do it and she gave me head then I gave her head but her pussy smelled so bad I litterally only ate her outt for 1 sec I almost threw up

[curiousguy79]

I wouldn’t expect it in return but I love giving oral... That said I view oral as an appetizer for me I don’t typically want to finish in her mouth... Are you willing to give oral as long as he doesn’t cum in your mouth? Might be an acceptable compromise

[Shark_61695]

It's up to the man to do what he wants and the woman to do what she wants. If this isn't mutually acceptable, they has no right to demand the other person does something they don't want to.

It doesn't matter the makeup of the relationship, no one has the right to demand someone does something they don't want to.