Most Helpful Guys
because you are normal, human, and you have needs for love, connection, respect, value, belonging, and yes... sex. you are at the age where you should be making kids... our society got all messed up and so those chemicals going off in your body aren't being satisfied. It's probably a jumbled mess.
The anger... rage... are real emotions coming from within, something is wrong in your past and its distorting your now. So it's time to do some work on yourself. You can cleanup this mess so you feel good, stable, loved, etc.. without meds... those are jus suspenders, preservatives and crutches. sometimes needed short term, but don't love them. A feeling of love and belonging is the answer.
I got a little lost in how you wrote. You were traumatized as a child, very likely. So one has to ask... what went wrong and when? If you convey more of your behaviors, could probably figure out when it happened, help you move forward in better way.
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Most Helpful Girl
If you never had a boyfriend that's your problem, I say that bc it's the first thing you mentioned.
There are decent guys out there it takes awhile tho to find one, don't get discouraged or you'll never be content.
Believe me there's a guy waiting for you, you might go through several guys until you find the right one.
So many guys are fakes if you get involved with a guy pay attention to what he says, make sure it matches what he does.