Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Semen retention ruining my sex life?

My husband practices semen retention and he tries not to ejaculate. What he does is when he is about to cum he stops, takes a break and then continues again. This makes me go to reset mode again and my arousal completely goes away. It's totally frustrating. I spoke to him about this that am not happy with him practicing it and he says that I should understand that he would achieve long term health benefits with it and if am not satisfied then i better indulge in self pleasuring. I have lost the sexual pleasure from my married life from past few months. What should I do when communicating my frustrations to him does not work? What's this stupid theory of semen retention?
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't think it's such a stupid theory.

    Bear in mind, that despite scientific desperation to prolong life, most peoples' bodies are seriously breaking down in their 50s and 60s. 1 in 2 people are getting cancer. Sure, we may be living longer, but not living longer healthily. The statistics on chronic disease rates are eye-watering. You might consider it spiritual mumbo jumbo, but the Taoists didn't think it should be unusual for a person to live healthily and almost perfectly functionally (including sexually) until they are 100.

    Also, the advice isn't really to stop ejaculating, but not to force ejaculate, or not to ejaculate for the sake of ejaculating. Essentially, quality over quantity.

    I do think there is something in this theory. It goes against 'common wisdom', but look at the world around you. Surely even people themselves aren't stupid enough to think we're living in anyway wisely.

    Theoretically, semen retention should be far better for the female, too. The man should not get tired and weary from sex (a common problem) after cumming, and should want sex pretty much all days, even as he gets older. What more could a woman want?

    However, I should imagine this could be practicised poorly.

    This seems more like a communication issue really. You've been become entrenched, and you're not willing to understand each other. Surely, there must be some compromises somewhere. Someway you could make it work for both of you? Even if the practice is beneficial, one wouldn't want to become a slave to it by denying pleasure. Also, to say that you should pleasure yourself. How is that helping intimacy. That just helps a relationship break down. Can't he give you oral sex?

  • Semen retention ruining my sex life?



    I don't know what crazy fake liberal pseudo-science your husband has been reading, because ejaculation is widely understood to be important for reproductive health for men. I suspect someone watched Dr. Strangelove and didn't realize it was satire...

    • Fuck this crap completely. It's ultimately destroying my married life. Am at the pinnacle of frustration and to be frank I sometimes am not able to concentrate on my daily activities.

    • You need to have a calm but frank and honest conversation with your husband. This is a real problem, and not something he should easily dismiss. in my opinion, you should get some relationship/marriage counselling, so that you have a third party to help mediate. The hope is to fix this before the nuclear option (divorce) is necessary.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don’t know why men make such a big deal out of stamina and retention. I’ve been with guys who look like they were going to have an aneurism to keep from ejaculating. For some reason some guys think the longer they last during intercourse, the more of a stud in bed they are. There’s a happy medium in there. Sure, a guy whose trigger trips way too soon can leave a woman wanting. But a guy who treats sex like an endurance competition or marathon just doesn’t get it. When the sensation for me went to reset or just wasn’t enjoyable, I’ve told guys I’m done. Take it out. Masturbate to completion. Do that a couple of times then he’ll get the message.

    • I will surely do what you said but would it really matter to him? I don't understand how does he get any sexual pleasure when he is abstaining himself from ejaculating. It's like a few strokes in and out and when am starting to enjoy it, pause and then start again. I sometimes yell out of frustration but no effect on him.

    • If your comfort and enjoyment matters to him at all, it will. And it IS about your comfort and enjoyment too. Have the talk, and if he persists, tell him to take it out when it becomes not enjoyable. Personally, if he keeps up what he’s doing, I’d tell him to find another vagina, because I’d be done.

  • Go to a therapist, or at least to a close and trusted friend or family member you and he can talk to. It may be embarrassing, but what's happening now is just stupid.
    If it were my husband, I would slap him upside the head to knock the sense back in him, or I would make him not be able to bear retaining it, if you get what I mean.

    • Thank you. I got it what you meant but as soon as he is about to ejaculate he will use some techniques to not lose it like deep breathing, pinching some sensitive regions of his body and he doesn't cum. It's totally frustrating.

  • I think its time he sees a urologist and then a couples marriage counselor. If he refuses then I would slap him with divorce papers faster than he can say ejaculation.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 16

  • This guy sounds pretty weird, not to mention selfish. Cumming inside a woman is the ultimate for a guy.

    • I thought of planning kids with him but it seems that's not gonna happen soon. It's so frustrating tlfor a woman to go back to reset mode during sex.

  • I've never heard about that. Doesn't sound healthy at all! Maybe a doctor can tell him that?

  • That's called, Tantric sex. Sting loves it!! Supposedly, it give a guy a greater orgasm and more cum when he DOES finally let go. I'm pretty sure women can do it, too.

  • I think he should do a better research. Semen retention can cause health issues, at least when you do it oftenly.

    • But he says it has lot of health benefits and I don't really understand this crap what he is practicing.

    • It doesn't have any health benefits. He should know that.

  • I can understand if someone wants to last longer but to not cum at all? That's pretty weird

  • I don't understand, he's weird and should change his mind, blowing the sperm out is the main goal for sex, the man reaches the ultimate pleasure and relaxation and the woman orgasm seeing her man's sperm and will surely be aroused to the max... also this ain't healthy to keep them inside...

    I'll never practice such things...

    • I agree with you. I don't really understand what pleasure he derives if he is abstaining himself from ejaculating. Also it's not helping my cause either, its been months since I have had an orgasm.

    • Sorry to hear this, you should seek help and try to change him cause this can't be going on like this...

  • Apparently you married an idiot. Make him eat you out I guess. if he refuses make him practice his crackpot shit with his hand.

    • I don't really know what to do. Am still quite young and if it goes on like this then I can't see things getting better anytime soon.

  • I can last a long time so its an eruption in the end with her satisfaction but I would not be able to call sex complete without cumming.

  • I do the same thing... I stop and start eating something untill my heart rate and cock pulse lowers then I start tearing it up again.

  • That’s ridiculous, I don’t know what his game is... Mine is seeing my partner completely sexually fulfilled.

    • Would going to a marriage consultant help?

    • Yes, it couldn’t hurt

  • He is very selfish

    • Yes in this regard he is selfish but at the same time he cares me in other things a lot. My married life is good but I am found wanting in this which I believe is an essential part of married life too.

    • l understand but you need to talk with him about this matter as you are still young

  • there is many tricks alternate to this, he is fool and must learn other stuffs, try to teach him and hope for best.

  • Sexual health benefits? Ejaculating regularly is more beneficial for prostate health !!

    He sounds very self centred and is an extremely selfish lover who obviously couldn't care less about your sexual needs.

    Time to tell him my way or the highway !

  • Semen retention has no health benefits. Rather the contrary. Regular ejaculation keeps the prostate healthy, less risk of prostate cancer.

  • The retention is to retain his energy force and be able to maintain erections indefinitely.
    Have you talked about an open relationship?

    • So how does it make sense when his wife isn't sexually satisfied. I didn't yet speak about an open relationship, but would that really help?

    • He does it because he does it. Expanding the playing field might help.

  • Go online to get information on this, and then present him with the facts about how unhealthy this practice is.

  • Never heard of it or health benefits. It sounds a very odd way for him to behave and doesn't appear that he's very considerate of your enjoyment either. Surely the whole point of sex is to ejaculate. I think most men would try to make sure they did, not didn't do that.

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