Do you enjoy inflicting pain in the bedroom? If so, what do you enjoy about it?


I enjoy the fact that the recipient is experiencing pleasure
Vote A
I enjoy the fact that the recipient is in pain and suffering
Vote B
I enjoy the recipient's pain AND their pleasure
Vote C
I don't enjoy it but I would do it for my partner if they wanted
Vote D
I don't enjoy it & wouldn't do it
Vote E
I'm asexual
Vote F
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • My girlfriend and I tend to a rough kind of sex. Not in a BDSM "chains and whips" way. Rather in a primal and animal way.

    We tend to be like two animals breeding in a field. There is with that licking and a bit of biting and scratching. However, it is not to inflict pain. Rather it is - and this is hard to describe - an expression of our natural animal instincts.

    What makes it beautiful is that we are sharing ourselves as we are. Not just naked in a physical sense but in an emotional sense. We are seeing each other at our most raw and instinctual and we are accepting each other.

    In this, the biting and scratching is a natural expression and is not meant to inflict pain. It is more a reaction to the physical and emotional intensity of the moment. In that moment I am just an animal breeding in a field. I am doing what nature intended for me and am seeking to impregnate a female and sire offspring. (Actually, my girlfriend and I have three children.) For my girlfriend, it is that instinct to subordinate herself to a dominant male and bear offspring.

    That comes off sounding way more "clinical" that I intended and, as I say, it is hard to describe. In that natural way we end up, somehow crossing a line and it becomes deep and emotional and romantic and loving. As I say, we are accepting each other as we are - our most base instincts - and we are accepting each other without judgment.

    In all this, the idea of inflicting pain for the sake of pain is just not part of it. When we bite or scratch, it is never with the intention of inflicting pain for its own sake, and honestly, I don't get any pleasure from that idea.

    For what it is worth, I suppose if my girlfriend wanted it, I would do it, but it would not really give me pleasure. Seeing my girlfriend aroused makes me horny and gives me an erection, but that is so at cross purposes with the intensity that inflicting pain for its own sake, that I am not sure it would not ultimately be a "turn-off" for me.

    In my past I have been with women who enjoyed whips and such, both on me and me on them, but even there the point was not the pain but the sense of being subordinated to the other person. Of having one's naked body basically being used simply for the pleasure of the other person.

    Even in that situation though, pain, beyond a modest level, seems to cross the line. VERY long way around, voted "I don't enjoy it but I would do it for my partner if they wanted..." but it would not be a plus in my sex life.

    • P. S. Just have to add. Sorry for the long belabored reply I wrote, but it was a really good question. I'd never thought about it. There is, as I wrote, an element of pain in my sexual relationship with my girlfriend. The paradox being that it is not about the pain. Never thought of that before. Great question.

  • I'm not a sadist - I don't enjoy inflicting pain that's experienced as pain (i. e., in a negative way), but I *do* enjoy inflicting pain that's experienced as pleasure - for example, spanking a girl, or pinning her wrists back, or pulling her nipples, or biting her shoulder. Many girls experience tremendous pleasure from this kind of pain and ask, even beg for it. And so I'm all good with that. But if it isn't turning her on or giving her pleasure, then it does nothing for me.

    • I'm with Oracle. " inflicting pain that's experienced as pleasure " best way to say it It's all about a girl pleasure for me

    • @OrangeBoy2 Yeah. There's a difference between pain and suffering. Some pain is perceived as suffering (which is unacceptable in the bedroom) whereas many people perceive certain types of pain as pleasure, & I think it's acceptable to enjoy that kind of pain in the bedroom.

    • I'm on the same page as you. Just be there for your partner, listen to her and give it with love.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I enjoy inflicting pain. Biting, scratching, slapping, tying them up. Allllllllll that good shit. I’m also into receiving too.
    I like having power over my sex partners, having them beg for more or less. And only I put them at ease. I love pushing past limits. Just to see how far I can go. I once cut someone during foreplay and it turned us both on. Probably the best sex I ever had that day.
    I just really enjoy the process of making someone comfortable with the uncomfortable. Because it builds a different kind of trust and a different kind of intimacy that I value more.

    Still—being on the receiving end is just as fun and rewarding.

    • Did you vote?

    • 👍🏾

  • Not for me. I don't derive pleasure from pain (mine or someone else's). I derive pleasure from pleasure.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

8 29
  • I enjoy both the fact that she's getting pleasure but also that she's suffering at my hand. Why? Who the hell knows? It's not like there's a why.

  • I take absolutely ZERO pleasure in inflicting pain on someone I love. That's not what I consider a "good time" at all. 😕 It's not something I would do, even if she asked for it either. That's not anything I'd ever want to be a part of. For me, it is a matter of respect and not wanting to go on some degrading power trip like that. For me, love includes a deep, mutual respect for each other and intentionally inflicting physical (or emotional) pain on someone is not a part of that for me at all. I respect a woman's body and her physical, and mental wellbeing far too much to ever want to inflict pain on her like that. That's not who I am as a person at all. I have no interest and I'd never under any circumstance. Ever.

  • Personally, no. But I do enjoy when my boyfriend inflicts pain to me in the bedroom.

    • I have never understood this do you know why?

    • @goodlongman I think it's probably because pain & sexual arousal activate similar brain regions, so for people who enjoy receiving pain, it's simply a matter of their brain interpreting pain as pleasure, due to shared brain pathways.

    • WOW very enlightening... thank you

  • I'm a Sadist and I love girls who are into inflicted pain, pleasure, and discipline.

  • It's all about control

  • I enjoy some roughness but I wouldn't refer to it as pain.

    • yes this i like

  • I don't like inflicting pain, really, and I'm not crazy about it myself, but I love the game of edging a girl's vagina and getting to orgasm, then stopping. there is something awesome about a spasming pussy, throbbing clit, and her little humps when deprived of her release - for a while. It's the same for me, since I am not releasing, and I want to badly, and am hard as a rock. I eat her pussy until she is ready, they sometimes tease and stop, making her ache and pulsate, sometimes grab my head and pull it down. then I love to finish her in a giant orgasm. Then I finally finish. so it's torture to me, too.

  • Only to the extent that it brings someone else pleasure.

  • No. I don’t.

  • I don't enjoy it & wouldn't do it

  • I enjoy it to a very limited extent. For example, light choking, slapping, and general rough sex. I find I take enjoyment out of the domination aspect of these acts, moreso than the actual inflicting of pain itself.

  • Yes I do. If I'm giving him pleasure then he gotta bear a bit pain as well.

    • How do you administer the pain?

  • I like receiving pain

    • I have never understood this do you know why?

    • @goodlongman in part yes I do. But yeah I can't climax without pain

    • WOW thank you

  • E. No pain. I do like "inflicting" pleasure in the bedroom. When I bring her to dazed, incoherent mumbling from oral, it may look like she had been in pain... but she hadn't.

  • As a regular fetish player i inflict pain regularly. there's a skill involved which is learned over time whereby you read a situation and look for micro tell tale signs whether to go harder, softer or stop

  • NEVER !

  • I don't! (Unless it's done TO me)

  • I am a sadist (on top of being a sociopath). However I gain absolutely 0 joy inflicting any type of damage or pain towards those, who I care about.

  • I'm that one asexual boi.

  • No I don't enjoy inflicting pain on a female in the bedroom, if I was into that I'll just put her in a headlock in a wrestling March and ask for her to say uncle lol

  • Show More (17)