Broken Condom = end of relationship? He flipped like a light switch?

[graciecurls95]

I met a guy off tinder and we really hit it off. The first time we met we talked for hours and we had amazing sex. And each time after that we always spent a lot of time getting to know each other. We spent the night together, he made me breakfast. He asked me about my thoughts on things. We seemed to have a lot of chemistry. He would talk about doing stuff in the future. He gave me like 5 books to borrow. He would kiss me randomly like on the cheek and forehead and he always always went in for a long goodbye kiss when we got to the door. told me i was the coolest girl he’s ever met and i was really fun to be around last time i saw him. He would text me everyday to ask how i was, and he asked hang out every time. I played it real cool and let him do the work, because i didn’t want to come off needy or anything. Last time he came over, when we finished the first round of having sex, (i was on top) my vag like gripped the condom. It was really really wet so i took it to the bathroom and saw there was a rip in the side of it. We went and bought plan b and i told him i wasn’t on birth control. I said if all else fails there’s abortion and he agreed. He stayed for like an hour and we just talked and laughed. He texted me the next day and asked how i was and if i wanted to hang out on Thursday. I agreed. Wednesday night he asked if i wanted to come over. I couldn’t so he said okay cool you can just come over Thursday.
Thursdays here and I’m getting ready to head to his place and he texts me saying “Sorry, I don’t wanna hang out tonight. Just wanted to let you know so you could make other plans” and i texted back saying “oh okay, are you alright or do you not want to hang out anymore” he texted back “Idk really, the other night freaked me out. I don’t want to have a kid right now and don’t want to do that stuff for a while. Sorry I’m just being honest”
Do you think he will come back and try again? Or was this probably just an excuse because he didn’t like me? Im lost

[curiousnorway]

Since it was tinder, it's a high possibility he only did it for casual sex. If he comes back, you should ask him about his intentions and if he wants casual sex only or a long term relationship.

Although he should be more careful, wasn't all good and casual sex is risky, he still had a good reason to leave you if he wants to. He used a condom and he probably put trust in you since you consented in having sex with him. Many women nowadays use birth controls. When you didn't use birth controls, the risk of getting pregnant is significant higher and abortion isn't fun. He may have thought he didn't want to be too impolite and therefor didn't want to ask you if you used some in addition to him not knowing how to respond if an unwanted pregnancy happen. Many times guys says they thinks abortions are okay simply because of it's considered feminist without being sure how it would impact them.

I'm glad you didn't get pregnant, but next time you're going to have either casual sex or pre-material sex, I think you should use birth controls like the IUD or implant in addition to condoms. Oral sex and anal sex are also good alternatives to avoid pregnancies. He did his part; using a condom. You didn't do your part; using birth control. Off course it could go terrible wrong. It's especially possible when not both of the parts tries harder to do it safely.

You consented to sex and you consented to the risk of a pregnancy, therefor you're fully responsible if you gets pregnant. It's your fault, not the innocent child's fault and therefor aborting away a life just because of it's "inconvenient" won't be a good solution. You're an adult, you should know that.

I wouldn't participate in casual sex like that and doing vaginal penetration. But if I was that guy, I would probably be disappointed if I knew the girl didn't use birth controls. I knows many "forgets" and therefor I wouldn't allow the penis to enter the vagina.

[Cammy137]

If he does come back, id have a discussion about intentions. If its just casual sex, that needs to be established. If its dating with the potential for a relationship, that also needs to be established.

[Secret6620]

You can do so much better. He literally left as soon as he thought there would be expectations. 😢

[graciecurls95]

Thanks for replying :)

[esotericstory]

Yeah imagine not wanting to take a risk in your life thats may be staying with you for the following 18 years.

[Secret6620]

Thanks for the mho 🖤

[Phanta]

The whole problem started when you got into this casual sex biz. He probably won't come back.

[ravenengr]

no, i think he was genuinely scared... either of having a kid, or worried he'd have to explain that to his gf/wife

[No_Sugarcoat]

Tinder ladies and gentlemen.

Honestly all the TV Shows and Movies and Youtubers and Society all makes fun of Tinder for what it intends to do and what it actually does for the people. You got it coming tbh.

[blythely]

Why didn't you discuss birth control plans night one?

[Mahof]

If he wanted to come back you shouldn’t. His true character just came out. I think he only wants you for sex.

[graciecurls95]

I needed to hear that. Thanks

[Mahof]

You are very welcome.

[blythely]

Duh?

[Valnac]

You definitely scared him.

[esotericstory]

he probably thinks hooking isn't worth the risk.

[Anonymous]

I'm lost either.