Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why do so many guys try to stick it up my butt without asking?

First off please don't judge me too much. I have had a rough time, lost my job and my boyfriend and now I'm working as a waitress to get by and I decided to simply enjoy myself and this way of life for a while to get over the shit and before can really pick myself up again.

So yeah, I drink and party a lot right now and when I work, I'm in that same scene. I've had quite some drunk hookups. I'm having the way too much fun for my own good, but honestly, the attitude of some guys worries me. Last week I had three hookups and yes, all three times I was really drunk. I do realise that it's normal that the sex in these situations is rough and emotionless, but all three of them at a certain point just started fucking me in the ass without asking or even warning me. Luckily I can take it and at the moment enjoyed it. But afterwards I felt really bad about the fact that they just assumed they can do that and didn't need to ask for my consent. I honestly feel a little used and disrespected right now. When a drunk girl let's you come home with her to have sex, you can't just do whatever you want. If they asked, I'd let them anyway, but it just seems a little fucked up all three of them just went for it.

Why do guys do this? Am I overreacting? Is it maybe so common that anal is on the menu during a one night stand? I haven't known the "single life" for a long time, so I'm pretty new to this.
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • You need to understand that the guys who are drinking and "partying" (i. e., drugs) and banging drunk girls in one-night-stands aren't exactly the kinds of guys who are going to follow social etiquette, nor are the they type to feel any responsibility for their actions. In their minds, you're a slutty drunk girl who has casual sex with a bunch of guys, so they don't value you as highly as they would more conservative girls (not that these guys probably value those girls all that much either), and they basically assume that they can do whatever they want. That's the culture of that partier/drunk ONS crowd - which is a specific subset of people and not a reflection of normal/average guys.

    I'm not condoning what those guys did or the way they did it, but you need to realize that you put yourself in that situation with that crowd of people, and you really shouldn't be surprised at the outcome. Those guys do NOT respect you (or most people, for that matter), and if you went willingly along and didn't scream at them the second they tried to penetrate your ass, they just assume that it's all good. Again, not saying it's right, but that's the crowd you are dealing with - that "scene."

    You aren't going to change that culture/scene, so the way you protect yourself is to avoid it, or at the very least, expect it and take steps to put yourself back into control (like, not being drunk, and/or setting boundaries and expectations before you jump into bed with a random guy). Obviously, you'd be better off dealing with a higher class of guys in the first place, but those guys probably aren't awake and ready to have a party at 2am after closing.

    • Yup.

  • When you have two drunk people having NSA sex, I'm not sure you can expect the level of respect you're talking about. You can take it up the ass and like so just go with it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well darling first of all you dont need to be on the back foot no matter what lifestyle you choose coz people are not coming to your care neither they did when you were down so just be confident and own what u do and what u like
    As far as anal is concerned i can tell u from my exp which i have quite a lot lol... guys tend to like and get into anal these days a lot more than before. Maybe its coz of social media or just a new trend but they do want it and would u believe many only want anal and dont want to push it in pussy
    And i will suggest you to set the terms with them first like what you are expecting and what they are allowed to do. I dont mean to offend you but you can charge them and this way they won't overdo anything even a little bit and if you are in the moment and you are enjoying it then u can just let them do more as a bonus hehe that's what i do lol
    And yeah dont get too drunk to lose senses lol

    • Thanks for MHO honey

  • Well, the thing is, when you mix casual sex with alcohol, a lot of dudes are going into it with the preconceived notion that if they're already fucking you, they don't have to ask. It's kind of confusing for both parties because yes, considering anal is often preferential for some and not for others and can be quite painful, a man should ask, but on the flipside, this woman is already allowing him to fuck her and seems willing and happy, why would he assume otherwise?

    This is why I often suggest people don't engage in hookups if you're not coherent enough to state what you're not okay with.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 33

  • Well, be a whore, get treated like one.

  • Look at the men you're attracting at the moment. You can't expect a dog not to be a dog. You're hurt and vulnerable right now. You're letting fuckboys into your life, that will act like fuck boys. It's good to have a good time and honestly you sound like you need to let some steam off. But it doesn't sound like you respect yourself very much right now, so guys like that are gonna prey on that. Have your fun and then sit down and evaluate yourself.

    • Although I never got the definition of a "fuckboy" (maybe I'm too old for that) I get what you mean. But I do still respect myself. I'm doing this because I want to for a while. I'll get serious again when I'm through with this. I'll get a serious job again sooner or later and I'l find a nice guy to settle with. Just not right now. It' just nice to have the freedom for a while to give into my guilty pleasure. it's the type of guys that I would normally stay away from cause they're assholes, but end up thinking about when masturbating. Now I can experience my wet dreams in real life for a while and when I'm done, it goes in the vault and stays there ;)

  • You're acting like a whore but expect these asshole randoms to treat you respectfully? Hahaha, you're too old for this shit. Respect yourself first.

    Besides, anal is easier when you're drunk

    • Now why are u calling them assholes... she agreed to have sex.. they did.. stop being a saint since u have done many wrong things in ur life too..

    • You don't know what I've done in my life, first of all. I've never made the kinds of stupid, unsafe decisions this person has made. They are assholes. She's not pulling high grade, quality men. These are men that are desperate enough and willing to take advantage of a drunk woman who obviously has problems. Anyone that fucks randoms is a piece of shit in my opinion. There is no defending these degenerates

  • What the fuck, you consented to have sex with them but not to be sodomized. Make them get consent first

    • how do I "make them get consent"

    • I guess you can't make them but you can tell them beforehand "anal is off the table"

    • But it's not off the table. They just shouldn't assume it's ok without asking.

    • Show All

  • I don't know maybe they miss? I tend to ask politely "miss does arf vow want it in the pooper"

  • It was in the heat of the moment don’t over think it

  • i can only assume that whilst you were drunk their own social filters were also impaired but i have to say its very disrespectful of them and i certainly wouldn't do that too you just because its a one nighter

  • What your saying is right but it sounds like you are just having stupid guys fuck you and expecting respect from them?

  • Lol it just means you choose the same type of guy 3 times
    What a coincidence
    Bet you’re not sleeping with the nice guys, clearly 😛

    • Well i guess there is some truth in that. It's not the type of guys my dad would want me to hang around.

    • Lol ya These kinda guys do that kinda stuff Thats kinda how they go there in the first place lol

  • These guys simply don’t respect you, you’re a cumdumpster to them so they don’t ask for consent.

  • You act cheaply; so you are treated cheaply.

  • Drunk and your not in your right mind. A lot if times you do things without thinking when drunk

  • No anal is definitely not a normal thing on the menu. You might be know as the girl that takes it up the ass or they’re just too drunk to notice lol. Hopefully is just the second one

    • Well those three guys do know each other. They constantly hang around the same bar. But it would seem a little fast for that to go around so fast.

    • No, not fast at all.

  • its because guys dont give a fuck about girls or how u feel, we secretly hate them, we only like their bodies, because theyre hot, but we hate them personally, so we jus shove it up ur ass for our own personal pleasure, and if it makes u feel violated or disrespected we dont give a shit

    • and u know why we dont care about u females? cos ur all bitchy cunts, y'all used to be nice and tolerable early 2000s and mid 2000s... but ever since the smartphone era u have all become snobby egotistical cunts who think u run the world

  • you seem to have a bad taste in men xD that's all i can say about this.

  • Because we want it. Pretty simple. Anal is normal sex.

    But it also requires some preparation sometimes, and is something he should ask you about first.

  • Because you date douchebag guys

  • If you’re that worried about that used feeling the next morning, then stop being such an easy drunken slut.

  • Maybe it slipped...

    • Haha who knows

  • -> sex in these situations is rough and emotionless,
    ->I honestly feel a little used and disrespected right now.

    Female contradiction at its finest. They're not supposed to ask you about anal. That's not how it works. If the guy wants it then he'll get it and there is nothing you can do about it. It is called masculine behavior.

    • Yeah, I still think there is a big difference between masculine behaviour and fucking me in the ass without asking.

    • would you ever ask a guy to stop pumping just when you're about to cum? It's the same thing. He won't ask you if he wants to bang your ass. You decided to fuck with him and he'll do it to get the most pleasure out of it.

    • God, I hope you never get to have sex with someone. Pretty fucked up mindset, dude

    • Show All
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