Exactly what is the difference between finding women attractive vs seeing them as sex objects?

Obviously when you find a woman attractive is because you obviously think she's hot enough to have sex with. So logically speaking wouldn't this count as sexual objectification?

Exactly what is the difference between finding women attractive vs seeing them as sex objects?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • So I read through the girls' opinions cause I really didn't know how to answer that. I came to the conclusion that the objectification is the difference. Same as personification to objects is treating/talking about an object as though it is a person, it would follow that objectification is treating/talking about a person as though they are an object. So, the issue isn't what we think of their body, it's how we think of them. You don't have any regard towards a can's feelings or intent, and it's just a can made of metal. Some girl called Stacy you ought to keep in mind has feelings and intentions, and is a human with a body not a large piece of flesh.

    ~Examples~
    Personification: the can wondered if anyone would notice it was wearing a new label. (Added thought)
    Objectification: Stacy had on a sexy dress. (Irrelevant thought)

    Personification: the can was happy to be useful for once. (Added feeling)
    Objectification: Stacy was actually useful for once. (Irrelevant feeling)

    Personification: the can's rigged head and hollow body made it skilled in cookie-cutting. (Added human-ness of body)
    Objectification: Stacy is hot enough to bang. (Irrelevant human-ness of body)

    • its not objectification though if you haven't met her!! Of course you're gonna make a generic comment about her appearance, especially if she's sexually attractive to you, but if you haven't met her you can't do anything else, if you dont know the inside then the only thing you know is the outside so there's nothing of any substance that you could say about her!!

    • @derek2017 That's why I put 'irrelevant' instead of 'missing' for that stuff. Even if you don't know what they are thinking/ feeling/ etc.. you know that they still have those things. You may make simple assumptions like that they probably want to be talked to politely or they look like their in a bad mood. Just like with any other human. So it's not objectification unless you just completely leave out that part and only account for looks or stuff. Ya it doesn't make much of a difference if they just walk by. But if you're paying attention to them and it hasn't even crossed your mind to take into account more than their looks, you may just be seeing them as a pretty object rather than an actual person. I don't know that much that's just me theory.

  • Mentally, the difference is negligible. When you're a man who finds a woman attractive, there is almost invariably a sexual element involved. Keep in mind that, if you are female, you can not understand what it is to be a man who desires a woman. I don't understand the way women see men either, and I don't pretend to, so it gets a little tiring to hear thoughts that come quite naturally to us dismissed by some people as sexist and wrong.
    I can't stop myself from feeling the way I do; it's not something I choose. As men we have a responsibility to focus on the things we can control: namely, our behavior. We can choose how we process these feelings and how we treat the women in our lives. I choose to treat them with respect and refrain from sexual actions or comments, unless I'm involved with a woman and she consents to that sort of thing. I'll never understand guys who catcall, bother women who clearly aren't interested, or treat them like inflatable dolls. That's where I draw the line.

    • the main reason why females dont understand that is because they only find you sexually attracted if you got something worth massive value that will benefit them in the long run. they all have prostitute encoded in their DNA

Most Helpful Girls

  • The difference is: finding someone attractive and treating them like another person with respect because you understand they have thoughts, feelings and ideas. Objectification is just treating them like a toy with no regard for the fact that they are another person. That's the difference. There's really no need to treat someone like dirt just because you think they are sexy, hot, cute or whatever. A hot guy could have no shirt on that doesn't mean I think I'm superior to him.

    • so why do so many women claim you are sexually objectifying just by you thinking they're hot?

    • I'm sorry, but if a female is capable of talking normal with a hot shirtless guy, then she's a lesbian.

    • @twerk4me as you serious? No it's just means that we can appreciate a person isn't all about their body, and they have an actual personality too

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  • I think the main difference between the two is when someone finds someone attractive they still treat them like an actually human being with respect for them and their feelings. While objection is just treating that person as a toy with no regards for that person or their feelings.

    • This is largely a personality trait some people have. Many people will not treat any person that way regardless. So really it comes down to the girl picking a guy that is quite a bad person.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Let me disagree with you.

    You can perfectly find someone attractive without sexualizing that person. Not everything revolves around sex.

    I find some elderly actors attractive because they have character and personality but i would never cross my mind to be sexually interested in them.

    I fail to understand why everybody must be seen solely as a sex object and not valued for his/her other features.

    • Not saying I have any problems with you disagreeing with me. But you'll be surprise how many bimbos who loving acting like sex objects to attract dudes with money status, validation and other free freebies sound just like you

    • Perhaps they act like me but I would never have such a low esteem of myself to allow any one to be sexual with me if I did not care for that person. I am more sapiosexual than physically attracted by any guy, regardless of his looks, fortune or social status. I don't need to be a hoe to know my values.

    • "I don't need to be a hoe to know my values." not saying you are but again you'll be surprise how many actual hoes use such statement

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  • The term is an endless source of confusion for me. For a start, I don't think I'm capable of objectifying a person. I'm wired towards the very empathetic side of the spectrum. So I can find a woman very sexually appealing, but that doesn't mean I don't want to get to know her, see her happy, etc.

    You know, I dislike star fish like many guys. But one of the reasons I dislike a star fish is because she starts to resemble an actual sex object, laying there on the bed and giving me little signs of emotion. I want to understand her mind and how she feels and find out if what I'm doing is making her satisfied. I want to communicate with her. A component of my own pleasure is seeing hers.

    And of course I've heard some crude remarks from both sexes towards the opposite sex while ogling their bodies, and one might think they're reducing the other person to an object. But I can't read their minds. Maybe they're just really attracted and expressing their dirty thoughts. They might still want to get to know the person, see them happy, treat them with dignity.

    It is a strange thing to me if a feminist can identify all but the most psychotic behaviors to the viewer as reducing a being to a sex object. Since they did they gain the ability to read other people's minds and deduce their intentions for them?

    So I'm constantly confused by this subject. Maybe there are some people out there who have sexually objectified others and understanding this might help them in some way to become more empathetic. I'm not wired in a way where I'm capable of sexually objectifying in the first place, so it's just confusing and largely a useless subject to me.

    • Since [when] did they gain the ability to read other people's minds [...]

  • Sexual objectification is women's bread and butter, much like economic objectification is men's. There's isn't a difference that makes much of a difference to the outcome.

  • As I understand it, women do not want to be thought of as objects to be fucked and then discarded.

  • Men get it up for sex not for abstract ideas about art. It’s said that most women don’t actually have sex with a man but with ideas about the guy like how powerful he is so you can see why they sound confused when lecturing men.

    Stop assuming that men & women speak the same language

    • "Stop assuming that men & women speak the same language" where exactly did I say that? I guess you misinterpret the whole reason behind this question. I brought this up because I believe "sexual objection" doesn't exist. I believe its just another term feminists use to shame men for feeling sexual attraction towards women. so i wanted to see women proof my point on this " It’s said that most women don’t actually have sex with a man but with ideas about the guy like how powerful he is so you can see why they sound confused when lecturing men." I agree with this 110% because I do believe that unlike us women dont just want sex. they want sex with the man that she will benefit off both in and out of the bed. to put it short I believe women have prostitute encoded in their DNA

    • It’s just that you wouldn’t have to say it except in response to feminist ideology. It’s all good tho

  • If they dress like that what do you expect. A person would have to be gay to ignore that

    • obviously but I'm trying to decipher the difference between actual attraction vs sexual objectification because I believe sexual objectification is yet another term use by feminists to shame us men for feeling sexual attraction towards women

    • I agree. All these women want is every man to ignore women and one day we will give them what they want. And they will learn what it's like to be ignored so badly that they will start to wonder why what happen.. I can't with for that day

  • sexual objectification is when you reduce the woman to a sex object & nothing more

    • so why do so many women jump the gun and assume you're sexually objectifying them just for simply showing some attraction towards them?

    • Guess she does not want to answer that

    • My thoughts exactly.

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  • It's the difference between asking: "Where has this been?" And saying: "Woo! I gotta get summa dat ass." Between admiring her natural beauty, and insisting she wear something kinky and degrading.

  • I would say where your focus is.

    • the first thing that attracts us to one another is physical appearance, the second thing though is personality, how is he/she like? But these questions cannot be answered unless you meet her/him and to want to meet her/him, he/she has to be physically attractive to you!

    • @derek2017 A sex object is when that's all you see upon close inspection. Biologically, we're all sex objects, but our personalities separate us from such.

  • I’d say sexual objectification is seeing something as nothing but a sexual conduit with no concern for their feelings or wellbeing outside of sex.

    • yeah but what if the an is a narcissist or just doesn't care about your feelings although he knows you're an actual person? That isn't objectification, thats just not giving a fuck about someone, which is worse actually but its easy to mistake...

    • the man*

  • A guy can see a girl as attractive, at the same times he sees her as a full person, with needs, desires, the right to choose her own way, etc.

  • A woman becomes a sex object in the eye of the observer when having sex with her is the only goal of a (real or imaginary) interaction with her.

    Guy sees hot girl and just wants to bang her = sex object.

    Guy sees hot girl, wants to bang her and wonders if she might make a good wife = not a sex object.

    This definition obviously is not set in stone and has some room for improvement. But I think it is a good starting point for this conversation.

  • Not quite. It's rare for me to see a woman in a sexual way. Usually when I find a woman beautiful I see her beautiful the way you see a wonderful sunset. A beautiful thing to admire.

  • "when you find a woman attractive is because you obviously think she's hot enough to have sex with"

    I disagree with that. A person can find anyone attractive but it doesn't mean they would sleep with them.

    • Pretty sure it does as a guy. There'll be a bit of hesitation about jumping straight to sex, but when I'm attracted to someone -- even thought it's not a conscious thought -- there's an understanding that I could see myself getting with that person. I'm sure there are guys out there that don't agree but I've not really seen them. I feel like my perspective is the common one here.

    • @AllThatSweetJazz I'm mainly referring to an an instance when a person finds anyone attractive. So what are your thoughts when you think a man is attractive?

    • sounds like a major red flag to me, in that case, it sounds like you're attracted to other things about that person. #money #status #attention #validation

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  • The complaint is not "You see me as a sex object", it's "You ONLY see me as a sex object".

  • No. Just because you like the smell of a scent doesn’t mean you want to eat it.
    You aren’t gonna eat a cinnamon candle.
    You can light it and make the room smell good.
    If it was a cinnamon bun then you go eat that thing because it smells good and you’re allowed to eat it.
    If you eat a candle then it’s just weird

  • A woman is always a sexual object until you meet her (guys look at her butt, boobs etc to decide if she's physically attractive enough to go talk to her, but its not the same thing when they talk to them! Thats when their personality comes out and they stop being an object!), the same goes for guys (girls look at his body, abs, arms or possibly penis size to decide if he is physically attractive enough for her to accept his advances, but when their personality comes out, guys stop being objects too!) so dont assume someone is seeing you as sex object if he/she hasn't met you!!

    • very true! though I think women are far more worst than us. they won't look at your body parts unless you have the physique of a Greek statue. I think what they really look at is your attire. if its expensive then they'll find you attractive cause to them that means you make a lot of money which means they can drain from you. so, in other words, they don't see us as sexual objects, they see us as financial objects instead.

    • couldnt have said it better myself!

  • There is no difference. There is only a game of semantics where feminists have decided to demonize one word and turn it into something it's not. Just a game of controlling a narrative.

    If you're attracted to someone physically it's literally the same thing as objectification. Women don't buy and wear lingerie to accentuate their intellect.

    • yeap and they dont seem to mind being objectified when you plan on rewarding them for their actions. now I understand why Donald Trump said "Grab The By The Pussy"

    • lol I can't think of another quote taken more out of context than that line

    • Date more frequently or pay attention to other dudes that love wasting money of dating and it will make sense to you

  • In women's eyes, we think they're attractive when they're horny. All other times we see them as sex objects and are all douchebags.

  • Just be like me and dont ever mention sex and nobody can accuse you of that shit. If I meet a girl I'll never be the one to suggest anything sexual. Ever.

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