Why does he lose interest the second he cums?

[River_was_taken]

I've known this boy for a few years now, and we're really close friends. I don't remember how it started but we've had a bit of a summer fling. Sending nudes, dirty talk, stealing kisses etc. Well we finally had sex for the first time after hours of cuddling and looking at the stars (how romantic amirite?). He came really fast since it was his first time but then he was... Done? I was okay with that even though the fucker came IN me. But suddenly he didn't want to hold my hand or kiss me like he had been before. There was no gentle touches and adoring looks. I was hurt when I reached up to touch his cheek and he moved away. We cleaned up and went to our beds. The next day it was like we were back to being best friends again.

Well we just had sex again, and he came within seconds. Again. Annnd he was done. Couldn't even keep going so I could finish. I tried kissing up his neck and being sexual but he was not interested. He kicked me out of his room within 2 minutes of him cumming. Seemed like he didn't even want me to touch him. I'm positive tomorrow morning he'll go back to treating me like a dude until he's horny again.

I mean this seems so obvious right? Like "omg this bitch is so stupid gurl he's USING YOU"
But the reason Im confused is because before we had sex this second time, we had been talking about our past feelings for each other. We both agreed that if things with some girl he's talking to* dont work out me and him could try to... I don't know build a relationship? To simplify it anyway.
Why is he doing this?

*talking to- not with. I'm not a home wrecker

[vampireelf]

Ok, first, he sucks if he doesn't care about your orgasms. No matter if he cums fast or not, if he doesn't care about your fun, he is a bad choice.
Second: Its true, man are like this after cumming! I experianced a lot of my orgasms and female orgasms. They are different. Its justmy experiance, but I think its true:
If a woman orgasms, she feels connected to the man. She wants to have sex again and feel more aroused by him. The more she orgasms, the more she thinks of him and want him. Female orgasms are very creative and create a deeper connection. Whenever I made women cum many times in a row, they felt totally exhausted but really connected to me. They wanted me to stay close to them.

If a man orgasms, he feels statisfaction. He got a huge urge when he likes a woman. He thinks of her all the time, he feels the urge to be close to her, to see her, to smell her, to touch her. Everything in his body want her. After cumming, he feels a very deep statisfaction of all these urges. After orgasm, we very often loose all interest in sex and became kind of "asexuel".
Just imagine you really really want to eat a hamburger. You think about it for days, and the more you think about it, the more you want to eat one! Then, you one day go to a restaurant and order the biggest hamburger. You are really desperate to eat it and feel really happy! After you eat the whole thing, you are sooo statisfied and full. And all you can think of is "oh my god, I never eat hamburger again! I never eat anything again for days!"

But of cause, this is a temporary state. After 1 day, you are hungry again, and after a few days, you want hamburger again. Not as desperate as before, but you COULD eat one again, if you have to.

Thats basicly what happens in a male brain after cumming. I know, its kind of mean, and its usually not that extreme. But some men really suffer a lot from this kind of hormon-change. They stop thinking of you, and instead think of what to do later, maybe meet with friends, or what TV show to watch later. Sex and intimicy is totally gone, and his interests and hobbies are his main focus. If he got a huge need to be alone, he might even loose interest to have anyone around him.

You can't change him. You can't make him care about YOUR orgasms, you can't change what he feels like after cumming. Maybe it changes in many years. But YOU can't change him now.

[Maraneva]

It's called a refractory period where the brain shuts down everything related to arousal. Some guys have it worse than others. It triggers feelings of disgust and emptiness. Part of the reason has to do with sex being a generally reserved topic when we're brought up.
You can use more foreplay but that can only help to a certain extent. I suggest you talk to him directly and bluntly about it and ask how you can help him. If he's willing to change and his reasons are genuine, try to help him out because his self esteem will also be quite low because of the thought that he goes limp immediately after cumming.
If he doesn't care though, two words. Dump him.

[Anonymous]

It really sounds to me like he’s using you. He’s being affectionate and dangling the possibility of a relationship to get you to have sex. Then as soon as he cums, he’s done with you. My advice, stop having sex and see if this relationship ever materializes.

[maceygirl]

I think he's just inexperienced. He needs to learn to go for a second or third round after he cums the first time. Then he will last longer. That's how my guy keeps me happy.

[shashankmehta]

@maceygirl Your guy is a real man then.. Who knows how to satisfy a girl... Lot of men go limp after ejaculating once

[RosieReal69]

Yeah def don't give it up right at first, fore play is a must for women!

[ashishr21]

Tease him a bit. Don't let him cum straight away. Try edging. You guys need to work on this a lot. Being just friends with benefits with this guy clearly won't work out for you as you'll always be dissatisfied.

[JohnAlaska43]

He just wants sex. He doesn't want you gave you thecwords you wanted to hear. red flags when he doesn't care abou you after sex leave him.

[Valnac]

If he’s around the same age as you could be the problem. Young guys aren’t aware of what a woman wants or needs.
Get a man that’s a little older that knows how to be a man.

[khailiaatef]

He got what he wanted...