Sexual Relationships
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Why do so many men expect to receive oral sex but then never give it in return?

At first, I just thought this was my experience. It’s been two years since I’ve had sex but I haven’t received oral since I was 21. But then I googled it out of curiosity, and apparently this is a trend a lot of women seem to be dealing with.

A lot of men want (and to some degree EXPECT) oral sex or ‘head’ from their partner but never return the favor, even if she wants it. People, including comedians like Katt Williams, joke about women not wanting to give head looks bad and is a negative but what about guys who don’t give oral in return?

Personally, I’ve decided you aren’t getting oral if you’re not going to do it to me. I remember liking it, and I don’t think it’s fair to have me do it but refuse to do it to me.

Is there a reason why this is a trend? I’m sure some women do it, too, but this seems to be more relevant to men from what I’ve read. Is this fair?
Why do so many men expect to receive oral sex but then never give it in return?
4 7

Most Helpful Guys

  • Yes young lady I have given oral to my wife, she is not keen on giving head, but no big deal. Men are afraid that the vagina is a dirty thing, and will give then some kind of disease. You can get herpes, thrush and other std from women. But guys out there, a clean vagina only has a very small smell, bit musky, but that is all. But do you know that all healthy vaginas have their own cleaning system, it is best for the lady to wash the semen off. We have special shower for my wife. Guys slip your finger in there smell it the taste it, if she is clean it will smell perfectly fine. But if she sleeps without cleaning herself up, it will be smelly in the morning, like fish. To all of you outside there oral sex on a women drives her crazy, orgasms multiple times, at the same time massage her g spot in the vagina. That women pursue you, you will have done things to her that no other man has, if you keep going long enough she will learn to ejaculate, best have a towel under her bum , as women emit a lot of clear tasteless liquid from the inside of the vagina, glands. She will lie speechless while you have your turn with muscles in the vagina squeezing your penis and emitting another like slippery mucus that sensitizes the penis for a better orgasm. WIN WIN. Go on try it with you serious girlfriend or wife, she will want more sex another win.

  • You have decided absolutely correctly! if a guy does not want to please you orally but expects you to give him a blowjob, then he can live without it too. And no, it is not fair, but it does happens. I had the opposite experience where my former girlfriend loved receiving oral sex, but believed that doing the same for me would make me somehow hooked to it and I would stop enjoying vaginal intercourse.

    Depending on the culture and personal ignorance, some men think that women are dirty/smelly down there, or that pleasing her orally somehow decreases his status as a man. I find it sad that you have not received oral pleasure for so many years. But from the conversations with my friends and my own preferences, generally we seem to absolutely love giving and receiving oral sex!

Most Helpful Girls

  • My first ex was the same way. Literally REFUSED to go down on me but kept pressuring me to give him head. I left him cause he was a selfish asshole. And he taught me to never go down on a guy unless he enjoys eating pussy too. Cause this just isn't fair and shows selfishness as well. Don't expect me to go down on you or pressure me to do it (even though I enjoy giving oral), if you don't want to go down on me. Simple. So I'm the same way as you.

    Thank God my fiancé enjoys giving me oral. Now he gets to receive twice as much oral :) lol

    • Good for you for leaving him! Glad you have a gourmet lover now.

  • I’ve had the same problems for years. I’ve only had one guy who liked doing it and went down on me regularly. The rest, forget about it. I’m right there with you. If he won’t give me head, I won’t do it anymore. Getting a guy to give head is like pulling teeth for some reason but then he will take your head and push it down onto his dick and basically gag you because he thinks it’s hot. I hate it. People suck.

    • Yeah and the amount of guys on here trying to excuse it versus explain it is just as frustrating

    • Lazy fucks. If I have to do it every time in heels or whatever bullshit the guys asks for, so does he.

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What Girls & Guys Said

17 110

  • simple as it sounds as you said no oral till i get 1 first because when the guy gets his first he'll just wanna finish and cum

    • No, I’m talking about mean who flat out just won’t do it. You can always go down on me first or I can go first, but a lot of guys won’t do it regardless.

    • probably because of the taste/smell women preduce thats puts them off

  • I’m totally on the same wagon. If I give oral, so does my partner. If they don’t want to, I don’t need to.🥳

    • I agree, except do you enjoy giving? If so that hurts you, too.

    • @Red_Arrow part of that enjoyment comes from doing something my partner likes, so why wouldn’t I want something I like as well? Doesn’t always have to be quid pro quo but a little reciprocation is nice

  • Men are ass holes. I dont see why you wouldn't want to go down on your woman, that is hot as hell to do.

  • They are selfish and their Parents Failed them didn t teach them How to Share, How to Play Nice with Others, and
    ****Didn't Teach them the Golden Rule Do Unto Others As You Would Want Done To You****

    Me personally I've experienced this more with older (60+) guys than younger guys. This is why he must give to me first then I Reciprocate or we do 69 and if he's not giving much effort to our dinner for two well then I tend to lose my appetite and decide I can me all by myself!!!

  • You are just hanging out with the wrong guys.

  • No idea. I really could care less about giving and not receiving

    • Why?

    • @Twenty2 don't need it

  • Overall, I don't know. But I can see that many guys on here think of women solely as being here to satisfy there sexual desires rather than having a shared experience. In fact, many seem to be hiding hatred to get the physical pleasure.

    I see many men on this thread that do appreciate the beauty of the vulva, the wonderfulness of a loving relationship, and the wonderful time to be had pleasing her.

    I love giving oral. I would not love it as much if she did not enjoy it, but I would still love being able to do that for my own sake if not hers. I would see her opening her legs as an invite for me to eat her out, rather than go right to fucking. And being a male, it is hard for me to get back up after cumming, so giving oral lets me give her many orgasms!
    Happy that @Cherokeehp has never missed out. She is the exception that should be the standard.
    More women should be like @MissKittyz.
    I really hope @ariadneR and @douride2 find men that treat them as they should be treated.

  • I love eating pussy, it's the best part of sex, I actually get more turned on by having my tongue working on a clit than actually having sex, and while I like having my cock licked and sucked, I actually prefer a good hand job where we can both see me cumming and decide where it goes. You are right though if you want oral and he stupidly isn't willing then don't let him have it.
    Well done, stick to your guns on this otherwise you will be missing out on some great times, his loss in my opinion, and a big loss.

  • All the men I was with gave me and didn't expect anything in return.

    • How many dudes so far?

    • @alex_x988 5

    • Slut

    • Show All

  • Mostly, because they don't know how to do it, and are afraid they fck it up, and you laugh at them!
    Oh, then there are the pretentious D-bags that don't respect and LOVE you enough to want to please you!!
    I always offer to go down on her, mostly because I love women's bodies, and love how she reacts, when I get the right place, the right rhythm and she just LOVES it!! The BEST FORE-PLAY!!

  • It is one of those double standards I can't quite comprehend. If you are not giving it, you shouldn't expect it. I personally love giving oral, it is very intimate.
    Relationships are about compromise, give and take experimentation, working out what works for you. Giving your partner pleasure should be your highest priority even if weirdly that is them giving you pleasure but you get my drift you work it out.

  • Yeah I've heard that happening but personally that has never happened to me. If I want oral I ask for it and my guy does it for as long as I want💜

  • Great question 🌸💜🌸

  • Because many men don't like to so submissive acts, anyway I for one don't need any kind of oral.

    • I mean "because many men don't like to do submissive acts."

    • What i dont understand is how that is submissive? If they know what they r doing then they r controlling the pleasure for their partner.

    • It's submissive, don't pretend that it's not submissive, that's why dominant guys in BDSM are never doing that, yes it's active submission and not a more common passive submission but still.

    • Show All

  • I didn’t realize that this was a trend. I’ve received way more oral sex than I’ve ever given. In fact, I think I’ve received more oral sex than the amount of times that I’ve actually had penetrative sex. Now that I’m thinking back on my past sexual relationships, I don’t really think any guy has ever really expected me to go down on them. I kinda just do it whenever I feel like it, but typically they ask to go down on me. My current boyfriend goes down on me every time we have sex and sometimes he just gives it to me cause he’s bored. I didn’t really realize that this was a problem that girls had.

    • You must have been lucky that you have gotten so much oral attention. Many guys either avoid it or just do a tiny bit. Which to me is weird because I love giving. And it is a great way to help the lady reach orgasm even before you begin penetration.

    • @Red_Arrow I don’t think it’s necessarily luck. Most of my relationships started off as friends with benefits relationships and so I got to know all my partners sexually early on. I got rid of the ones who didn’t know how to please me and stuck with the ones who did.

    • You began as friends with benefits. For those to ALL love giving you oral would require "vetting" them before actually entering the relationship. In other words, you needed to makes sure they fit what you wanted before anything got going. That is not a bad thing. But it is not how most relationships begin. People fall for each other before going out or anything like that. If you just came out and asked guys how they felt about oral sex, anal sex, all your fetishes, etc., you would come off as weird to many. But it actually makes a lot of sense. However, for those who have either remained virgins, or had little experience, they would not know how they felt about many things. But I do like the idea of learning what you can about their sexual experiences and preferences before getting into a relationship with them.

    • Show All

  • They're entitled

  • I don’t think this is a trend at all I think it has been this way since forever. But it’s not just the way you said it either you are overgeneralizing there are many men who love to lick pussy just as many as there are women who love to suck cock unless you can produce some data that say otherwise that’s really the way it is

  • I don't give oral sex to hookups and I don't expect BJ either. It's just a little bit problematic to get a hard shlong at command when you're drunk beyond good end evil. However most girls are cooperative and helpful in those embarrassing situations

  • Men are too gay for dick, that’s why. And most girls want men to want to do it, but they don’t of course. They’re too busy fantasizing about sucking dick.

    Girls like to go down on men only because we feel submissive and we like that. But men aren’t smart enough to realize or more like just don’t care to realize that u can make her feel submissive by going down on her too. All u have to do is act like it’s your decision because u desperately want it, and she simply has to go along with it.

    • Really? First you say men are too gay for dick

    • Then you say men are just too dumb... why would anyone especially men on here give you any credibility whatsoever

    • 🤮🤮🤮

  • It's a matter of understanding between the 2... First if you attempt a test and fail for eg you are going to review your answers not someone sitting next to your bench.. So let's find out some reasons.. Smelling can turn down.. not a clean area can turn down.. And a few more can be reasons.. Ultimately not all reasons can be put on public answers

  • Show More (107)

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