29 d

Is it my fault for what he did to me?

So this guy (24) im 19 took my virginity couple months ago it was very painful bleeding TOO much that i got rlly sick He was too big for me i have a very small body My stupid self kept going back to his place i don’t know why but i couldnt let him go because he took my virginity i think.. So today on whatsapp he said that he misses me and that he’s gonna be careful this time so when i was at his place we did foreplay But he had no condom on i told him why go put a condom on but he did everything so fast i couldnt think or had time to move so we had sex without condom and he came inside me TWICE (i told him not to but he said you can pee it out) And at first i told him to stop because he was too rough and really into it & he kept going (But it didn’t hurt so much after a while) I’m using birth control for a month now but i’m still gonna get the plan B tomorrow just to be safe you know. I feel so stupid and so much regret for thinking he’s gonna change and maybe care for me and be gentle but no. I feel so useless worthless unworthy & lonely. I just dont know how love feels at all.
Updates:
29 d
I also didn't want to make him feel bad when i told him that it wasn’t his fault that i was bleeding a LOT first time we had sex and his answer literally was “i know it wasn’t my fault” Like...
Is it my fault for what he did to me?
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