1 mo

How to help my relationship? Boyfriend is sexually frustrated and I can't do anything about it?

Is there anything I can do to save this relationship?
Is there anything I can do to save this relationship?
I've been in this relationship for about 8-9 months with a guy I met at university, and since the beginning there has been a problem. I'm a virgin and he is not. At first he told me that he wouldn't pressure me and that I should tell him when I'm ready. And so I did, one month into the relationship. We tried multiple times but it always just hurt too much, I started crying and shaking, so we stopped.
For the last two months we have rarely been seeing each other because we both had student jobs during summer and live far away (during vacation we live with our parents), which drives me crazy but he seems to be okay with it 'because it's not the first time he has a long-distance relationship and knows how to deal with it'. Every time he came over my house for a visit, he was really unmotivated in bed (but seemed happy to see me).

Last night I wrote him a message like 'I can't wait to have sex with you' (I just wanted to initiate a conversation about this). He reacted really weird so I asked him if he felt the same way. He told me: 'I don't think about it because it doesn't work anyway'. I answered that if we would keep trying it would eventually work (btw - fingers never hurt, probably the hymen or the lubrification). He told me he was tired of trying. When I then asked him if he knew another way without trying (because let's be real, you can't succeed without trying), he told me he doesn't know one because with others it always worked. I called him to know if that meant that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but he just repeated that he is just really tired of getting his hopes up and then not succeeding so he has given up on sex, which doesn't really answer my question. Afterwards we talked briefly about something else (me getting his keys for his apartment for a short time), which tells me that he doesn't want me out of his life...
I really don't want to break up with him, does anyone have advice?
How to help my relationship? Boyfriend is sexually frustrated and I can't do anything about it?
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