How can I tackle the fears of losing my virginity tonight?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend of 2 months bouth plan to lose are virginity to each other tonight. At first i wasn't scared because we've spoken about it and we love each other very much, i actually think he could be the one i spend my life with.

Im not necessarily nervous of losing my virginity, just the process. Im scared about it hurting and bleeding a lot. My boyfriend has a very big penis and I've not even seen it in the flesh yet, just seen him get a boner and that was big enough and im very little compared to him.

Im also worried about freaking out and getting too nervous because i don't know what im doing or him being scared for the same reasons. If he doesn't know what to do and i ask him to eat me out what if he thinks im disgusting and doesn't feel comfortable doing it and then i dont get what enough and it really hurts. He says he'll probably only last 30 seconds but were spending the whole 3 days together so if i upset him or he upsets me it's gonna be really awkward. My boyfriends really sweet and he said if im nervous i can take the lead but i dont know how i feel about that.

[harvest]

Okey, first of all, I think it's important for you to realize one thing... SEX IS FOR FUN! :D Tell him that! Approach sex like you would appreach some fun activity you do together. If there is something that doesn't make at least one of you happy - don't do it. Now, about those specific questions you had:
1. "Im scared about it hurting" - it shouldn't hurt. If he makes a move that hurts you, tell him that. Try again in a while. I'm sure he won't hurt you :)
2. " Im scared about it... bleeding a lot" - yes, there might be a little bit of blood. But trust me, it won't be anything bad. You won't probably even notice it! So don't even think about it. Most women realize there was some blood only after they already finished.
3. "My boyfriend has a very big penis... and im very little compared to him" - again, FOREPLAY. I can't stress it enough. First of all, touch each other as long as possible. Don't start untill you feel wet down there. Second, tell him to first play with you with his fingers to spread you. Add more fingers after a while. One finger, then two, then three... If he is still too big, then try repeating the process. Again - this is suppoused to be FUN! :)
4. "Im also worried about freaking out and getting too nervous" - again, talk to him about it before hand. Talk to each other about how you feel about having sex. Open up. It will make you more comfortable with each other and less nervous.

Hope you will have a good time together! :)

[genericname85]

i guess most importantly i'd say prepare for things to be awkward and possibly not even feel all that good. you're a beginner and getting good can take time.

also: don't put yourself under pressure of being able to take his dick. again. its your first time. no reason to be able to do shit on the first try. maybe make sure that he has the same approach.

[kittycat119]

Seriously... you've known him two months you don't love him. And you couldn't possibly know if he's the one in that short amount of time

[GhettoGirl]

Stay home.

[Jamie05rhs]

Before you start having sex, I would suggest learning the difference between "are" and "our."

[loveslongnails]

Good advice, but that's asking a lot of the text talk generation, don't you think?

[Jamie05rhs]

@loveslongnails Touché.