Boyfriend pressuring me for sex. What should I do?

Question

I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for 2 weeks and he keeps pressuring me for sex. I said I want to wait and he has agreed. But he still wants to do foreplay with me. I don’t feel comfortable with this, and want to wait for the relationship to be a bit more stable after a few months before we do foreplay and sex.

I feel like he is pressuring me and not respecting my decision. He says if couples are not touchy feely with each other then they are not a true couple. But I don’t want to rush into it. He had been pursuing me for 8 months before I agreed to date him.

We have already done some foreplay during the two weeks but I don’t feel comfortable continuing. I am still a virgin and treasure my first time. He is 12 years older than me, and has more experience than me. What are your thoughts? Please give some advice.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Kind of an interesting mixed bag of responses here, but seems most people support you and are telling you to not feel pressured. I agree. The thing that does add a bit of complication here is that you have known him (somewhat or a lot?) for 8 months and he's been pursuing you a while. He is not a stranger to you. And while he shouldn't expect you to concede to him wanting to have sex with you within 2 wks, you also say that you want to wait "a few months before foreplay", so you two are at very different headspaces here. If he's around your age, or in his early to mid-twenties, his hormones are raging like crazy, and while he should think with his 'big head' and not his 'little head', it sounds like there's a risk your relationship and his patience may not last indefinitely.
You can maybe keep him at bay by being really affectionate with him, and continuing to remind him that you do really like him and are attracted to him (or however you feel about him - I don't want to put words in your mouth.) If you want to stay a virgin for now, I personally wouldn't 'play around the edges' of that morality, but I am not religious and go by my own set of rules. I'm just saying, being a 'technical virgin' seems a bit silly sometimes. Know what I mean? Do only what is comfortable for you, in the right time. Is he going to be the man you lose your virginity to? It's your decision obviously, and none of us can make that for you. But I can tell you that you do not want to make a major mistake on this first decision. You don't want to remember 'the guy' as anything less than great. Even if it doesn't last, the relationship, the memory of it and/or him will. So make it a good one.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If he won't stop pressuring he's not the guy for you. 2 weeks isn't that long for a lot of people. I don't know if 2 months without foreplay is reasonable but pushing you at 2 weeks when you explained your boundaries is not cool.

sockandshoes · Accepted Answer

screw him. a couple isn't a couple without love and RESPECT. if he can't respect you then its time to call it quits. ESPECIALLY so soon ! only two weeks? he’s ridiculous.

buttcrackjoe · Accepted Answer

Have your own standards and respect yourself (sounds like you’re doing this)

However keep in mind the average amount of dates until sexual chemistry takes over probably after a week of dating the average couple is having intercourse.

He might get frustrated and leave (which is ok).

I personally think virginity is an antiquated value simply because of how short life is but to each their own.

Just do what your comfortable with if a guy pressures you he’s not a gentleman he should just go on to another girl if you say no

wman14 · Accepted Answer

He only wants you for sex. Do not give in. WAIT. I've been like this before. It's a trick to get you to do shit then he will leave. If he can't wait he doesn't like you. Stand your ground girl. If you need more help you dm me I'll tell you what to say to him

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Break up. If he can't wait even 2 weeks - he doesn't like you - just wants you for intimacy.

AustinMan · Answer

Good luck finding a more patient boyfriend. MONTHS? NFW, sweetie!!!

purplepoppy · Answer

Open your legs

HotJealousy · Answer

If he doesn't respect your boundaries he doesn't deserve you. Don't let him pressure you, kick that boy to the curb

Qweyrtu · Answer

Dump him.

nerms123 · Answer

Dump the trash and get a nice boyf who respects you. R👏E👏S👏P👏E👏C👏T.

abc3643 · Answer

You take your time and if he doesn't like it, then tough shit for him and move on. They right guy will respect your desires and wait. I did.

Just_a_human · Answer

My advice is to stand firm on your decision and what you feel comfortable doing. Do not let anyone pressure you into anything.

justawhiteman · Answer

he's a jerk... no one should be pressured into doing something they dont want to do.

genericname85 · Answer

congratulations. your boyfriend is a functional human male. leave him for others if you don't want sex xD

GD360 · Answer

Don't let anyone pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. If your not ready, then damn it you ain't ready. Tell him to Step the fuck back. If not just find someone else because best believe he is either ganna say I will find someone who will or he is just going to cheat because he has no self control. If your were my girl I wouldn't pressure you, but everyone wants to sex up like rabbits and they have time frame when yo ask for sex like it's a rule. But whatever I guess I'm just old fashion. Highlight on old

Bman4907 · Answer

If you're not comfortable with it, put a stop to it. Plain and simple, if they can't agree to that, tough cookies. Besides, you said that he was pursuing you for 8 months before your 2 week relationship. Whole thing doesn't sound kosher.

TheFlak38 · Answer

Im surprised he still hangs out with you after 8 months. The guy deserves better.

Gedaria · Answer

Tell him no , remind him what happens if he goes against your wishes...

Keith469 · Answer

Dump him and get as guy who respects your limits both in and out of the bedroom. You deserve a MAN, not a boy. We're out here.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

If you're not ready DONT DO IT.

TheOCRDog · Answer

Stay firm with what you have already told it. If he doesn't respect your values, leave him

Anonymous · Answer

No wonder since you’re a virgin, he is used to non virgins that don’t wait that long because it’s just sex and not a marriage proposal, so he should know what he was getting into knowing you’re a virgin , I guess he will have to wait until you find out it’s not a big deal afterwards

Anonymous · Answer

No means no, you definitely shouldn't be with a guy who doesn't listen for your first time, arguably not at all. Just fucking dump his ass and find a guy who can respect your wishes.