Should I tell my ex I had sex with someone else?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. We broke up because he was being lazy in our relationship. Not making time for me, not going on dates he just got lazy. So I walked away.

Last night I was out got drunk and had sex with someone else. I had fun and wanted to have sex with him.

The next day my ex boyfriend is texting me talking about working things out and hows he's gonna be less lazy and make more time for our relationship. he's willing to try.

[yucychan]

Technically, you and him weren't a couple when you had sex with another guy. So I don't see why you have to tell him anything. But I'm not encouraging you to lie to him either. I just don't feel the necessity to tell him anything unless he asks.
As for him talking about working things out, be less lazy etc., I'm not buying it. It's not enough. If he wants you back, then he should chase after you and woo you all over again. Make him work for it.

[Paris13]

Now... GO SLOW WITH JOE. xxoo

[ask4any]

Love your answer yucy!

[kay02]

This is terrible advice. One, if you want this relationship with him to last you should tell him now and be completely honest before you get back into it with him. You not telling him and getting back with him will only sit on your own conscience and start to influence other subconscious negative thoughts leading to bad behaviour in the relationship. You waiting until he asks like suggested above 🤦🏿‍♂️ will only end in him feeling very betrayed (despite the nuances of when it happened) and a lot of resentment for you. Which at that point will probably already be deep in the relationship again. Make him work for it? Work for what? Actually think about it. Yes he may want you back but you are not a God. but i do agree that he should display changes in his approach before accepting him back, its obviously easier to say you will change than to actually do it. The last option which in all honesty i think is where you actually are, is to just move on. You sound like you were fed up and bored so go and live your life and let him live his. If you guys were meant to be catch up in a year or two and see if you've both grown without each other and are more compatible.

[Asker]

@kay02 Fair

[yucychan]

@kay02 I disagree. If I broke up with a guy, I'm not entitled to tell him who I dated next, slept with after that. Likewise, he do not have to tell me who he dated afterwards. Broke up means broke up. If I don't even tell my close friends who I date, then why should I tell my ex, one who is out of my life, anything? You also seemed confused. The asked also never said anything about getting back together with her ex. She was just asking if she should tell.

[yucychan]

@ask4any Thank you.

[kay02]

@yucychan Where did entitlement come in? It's not about that, it's about morals which seem to be foreign to you. Your close friends don't know who you date? Jheeze well i'm glad you specified that, so others can make sensible decisions before taking your advice. Seems you are talking about relationships like every partner is a fuckbuddy. Ofcourse everyone can have casual things and there's no harm in that, but if you read the question, the OP is talking in context of her ex boyfriend, someone who wants to try and make things work and has at least stated he will try and change... I gave advice for every option, if she chooses to get back with him, which is heavily implied in the fact she even asked the question on this in the first place... and if she chooses to go her own way. Telling me i'm confused and you don't even seem to understand what a friend is or have any kind of respect for people who you were once connected to...🤷🏿‍♂️ If the op had stated she has no intention of getting back with her ex or have any contact with him. Then ofcourse telling him is unnecessary and will only bring him pain. But again if you can read... you would have seen i already advised her on that too.

[yucychan]

@kay02 I'm not sure why you are being so defensive and rude. Everyone has his or her own opinions on how to live a life. There's no need to engage in name-calling and instigate that I have no morals or respect for my friends. My advice borders on the value of privacy, not because I have loose morals or anything. In general, I just don't like to share my personal life or activities with anyone. If I change a job, travelling to another country or decided to invest all my savings in a company, must I tell my close friends every time I do something? Of course, there's nothing wrong if I chose to reveal these details of my life to them. But if I choose not to tell them, it shouldn't be wrong either. Likewise, my friends never tell me every single detail of my life. It should not be a must. Sorry, but I don't see anywhere in the question it was implied where she wants to get back with him. And I also never said it was wrong if she choses to tell him. My advice was I don't think it is necessary. So don't go about insulting me for just giving my opinions. We are all entitled to one.

[kay02]

@yucychan If you found my response insulting then I apologise. People who read the comments can make their own minds on what to listen to based on what has been stated. Also just because you state an opinion doesn't put it above criticism. I can respect the fact that different people have different opinions, that doesn't equate to me having to agree with them. You are not getting my point. No you do not have to report every aspect of your life to the people close to you, which is where i agree with you about privacy but they should be somewhat aware of important things that happen in your life if they are actuallly your best friends. If that isn't the case i dont really know how you differentiate strangers or associates from friends... and again in this context of the question the OP is talking to her ex. If you don't see any possible implication of them getting back together after it was stated that he was trying to talk to her to work things out... and her also stating that they should talk about their relationship if he cares so much... then i guess replying to you further is a waste of my own time.

[yucychan]

@kay02 If I have a new boyfriend or if I like the guy very much, yes, I would definitely tell my close friends. But if it is just dating, random meeting up, I don't feel that it is considered so important that I have to tell my friends. Which is what I'm talking about. And yes, the asker did say her ex should talk about to her about their relationship if they are getting back together. But that doesn't necessarily means she wants to get back with him. And yes, I appreciate if you do not reply back to my responses because you are wasting my time.

[itsthatgurl]

No don't tell him. What do you think will happen? People never seem to appreciate honesty a d plus you weren't even together when it happens, it's your life so no need to go digging your own grave

[hahahmm]

Well usually there’s a motive behind ‘honesty’ that isn’t right. Unless the other person asked you for honesty on the topic

[DWornock]

Very true. People never appreciate honesty. They resent the truth and love lies.

[Anonymous]

If you are willing to try again, that's fine. There's no need to mention you slept with anyone. You weren't together. You can tell him if it's going to make you feel better, but that's all it's going to do. ie, you might be risking more problems with him because of this for no reason at all.

[Melshmallow046]

I disagree, if they're going to be together, he should know even if it was during their breakup.

[EmbraceThePain]

@Melshmallow046 100% agreed! I don’t see the point in keeping something this significant and relevant a secret... Just say it and be honest, it’s not hard...

[cavmanier]

@Melshmallow046 I'm glad some girls value honesty over self-interest.

[Asker]

@Melshmallow046 no he should not

[Guanfei]

He's your ex. Technically you owe him nothing. But don't take him back, now. You walked out, you went with someone else. You made your past relationship over.

[robske]

Don't
Its in the past, no need to kick him whilst he's down

You've broken up so you could just let all of this go

[Username28]

If you tell him it'll look like you slept with the guy out of spite. It isn't necessary to tell him if you want to work on things, it will only hurt him.

[Username28]

Would you want him to tell you if he slept with someone else?

[Asker]

No, He asked and I still won't tell him. We were not together it doesn't matter.

[Username28]

Sounds like insecurity on his end. I wouldn't tell him either. What happened during that time period doesn't concern him. Giving him an answer wouldn't help things if he's really wanting to work on the relationship anyway. He needs to focus on the now, not what happened during the breakup.

[yougurt]

Yes, tell him you had sex with another guy. No, don't get back together with your ex. YOU sound lazy.

[kim45456]

Another man with pink profile

[yougurt]

@kim45456 Nope. A woman who recognises when a another woman is being a bitch. She clearly doesn't care about this guy if she has sex with another less than 2 weeks after breaking up. And she broke up for lack of attention. What a brat. No where in her question does she mention loving him. She would go back to him because she's lazy and that would be an easy way to get sex.

[kim45456]

She was probably hurt and want to get over it by doing that. Some men always do that

[selfdestruction]

Only lazy willed girls get under someone to get over someone else

[kim45456]

Tell that to men. You fuckers would not Say a shit when a man would ask such a question cause men are allowed to be a hoe

[selfdestruction]

Misandrist.

[kim45456]

Misogynist

[selfdestruction]

Being weak willed is not a Gender thing. It’s a personality trait. Basing an argument on gender is a sexist thing. My argument is she’s weak and easy. It’s not cuz she’s a girl. She’s not not relationship material.

[yougurt]

@kim45456 I would say the exact same thing if a man asked this.

[selfdestruction]

Exactly. I’d say the same thing if a ma asked.

[cavmanier]

Agreed yougurt. She was likely seeking attention

[Roxxy99]

You can’t base a relationship on a foundation of dishonesty. Yes, you should tell him the truth if you have designs on trying again with him. If he finds out down the road, you’ll have sabotaged the relationship by concealing it. Get it out in the open now and deal with it. It really is best.

[kim45456]

It is her ex? She does not own him a shit

[Asker]

@kim45456 bingo

[kim45456]

@asker I think you should update your post. Some people dont read the whole post and thought you cheated on him.

[Roxxy99]

It isn’t about what is owed to anyone. It’s about basing a relationship on honesty. You can’t start things off under false pretenses. Concealing this information will be a ticking time bomb if she resumes a relationship with her ex. If she doesn’t plan on going back to him, then no, nothing needs to be said.

[Asker]

Each relationship is different. You can be honest about your past. I won't. Thats the end of it.

[Roxxy99]

Fair enough but relationships can’t ultimately be successful that way.

[youngladiesonlypleas]

You broke up with him. There is no need to tell him, unless you want to tick him off.

[Account]

I would, however, you don't have to.

[Paris13]

Let Sleeping "Lazy Dogs" Lay on those Logs.
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Silence is Golden, Girl. xxoo

[joseph_j]

Why is it his business what you did when you guys broke up. You can do what you want when you're single.

[lyssagirl]

If u guys decide to get back together u should tell him. If not n u still tell him u look like ur immaturely rubbing his nose in it.

[kim45456]

She does not own him a thing

[MzAsh]

You shouldn’t have to tell him that if you were broken up. What an invasive question. Also, I wouldn’t be so quick to believe he’ll be less lazy. He’s kidding himself. I’d move on from this one.

[Darkistoolight__]

How long were you guys in a relationship?

[Felinegirl]

Nah I think you don't have to bring it up unless he asks

[DjZrate]

Im asking

[hellionthesagereborn]

Yes tell him. He already knows anyway, if you try to avoid saying yes or no it generally is taken as a yes in these situations. He should know, maybe it will affect his desire for the relationship maybe it won't but yeah, you need to tell him because it clearly is an issue for him.

[Moonchild714]

No!! It's none of his business what you did during the Break-up. Now if you had Unprotected Sex, before having Sex with him get Tested and yes you will need to tell him then so he can decide if he wants to use a Condom until a Medical Professional say you are Clear and that takes few months because HIV & AIDS Don't show up right away.

[Asker]

no glove no love. Always a condom.

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

Gloves don't work for herpes and HPV.

[Moonchild714]

Condoms work for HPV.

[Moonchild714]

And condoms decrease the risk of Herpes.

[GhettoGirl]

Nah, dont tell him shit. You want to tell him, tell him when he gets lazy again.

[selfdestruction]

Found the cunt!

[GhettoGirl]

Go fuck your once a month bleeding cunt of a mammy mother fucker.

[ebsiii]

If you have ever seen gilmore girls, and even if u haven't
Not telling them never ends very well. But obviously it's your decision.

[ohshee]

There's no reason to tell him anything u are doing. Not unless your trying to hurt him

[stardust101]

Why do you want to do that? make him jealous? Make him disappear? It is of no relevance to him, you’d just be stirring the waters, but I’m not going to tell you what to do.

[leslieberry]

NO, don’t tell him

[R0GUE96]

Yeah let him know he deserves to know if he still wants to try he truly does love you