Sexual Relationships
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Do you think straight men have a right to complain if gay men ogle them when they go topless?

Somebody asked a question about women going topless, and most men said that a woman can go topless, but should not complain if she's ogled by men.
Yet I'm sure that a lot of these guys would complain if they were topless & gay guys were ogling them.
My best friend is a gay guy & he often expresses to me that he gets sexually frustrated when he sees shirtless guys.
Yet gay men are expected not to look. But if straight men aren't expected not to ogle, why should gay guys be expected not to? Isn't it a little hypocritical of straight guys to say that it is okay for them to ogle topless women, yet they expect gay guys not to look when they go flaunting their pecs and nipples in public?
Do you think straight men have a right to complain if gay men ogle them when they go topless?
Both gay and straight men should be expected not to ogle topless people
Vote A
Gay men should be expected not to ogle topless men, but straight men shouldn't be expected not to ogle topless women
Vote B
Neither straight nor gay men should be expected not to ogle topless men and women. It's okay for both of them to ogle
Vote C
No opinion
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • Looking is free. We all do it to some extent. In 1919 there are 112 named genders, and almost all of them are turned on by one type or person or another. Looking is normal, and appreciation is normal. Where one draws the line is personal, but that needs to take into consideration that we've given up the expectation of privacy when in public. When it gets marginal is when there's commenting or cat-calling. It gets pretty annoying if one gets actively pursued, touched, and if any force or pressure is used.
    My personal position is, I'm a straight conservative old fogey who likes looking at boys, girls, men and women, especially if I find them attractive. That doesn't mean I have the right to touch or harass. Most of them I have no desire for in an intimate relationship sense. That doesn't stop me from looking.
    I doubt anyone would ogle me, any more. 70 years old (almost) has taken its toll on me, just like it will on all the others in due time, if lived long enough. That's OK. I'm still me inside, and wouldn't object unless it became harassing.
    If anyone has a problem with people appreciating how they or others look, it points to what I tend to believe is a sense of insecurity, and a lack of self-esteem.
    When I think of it a bit, some of my best, most reliable and most supportive friends I've had are gay men who said they'd like a relationship, but respected who I am and what I am. As I said, looking is OK, even in the shower at the gym, on the beach, and on the street.

  • I think it's obvious that to ogle is a consecuence of attraction.
    I don't understand how you can feel bad bout it.

    One day I asked to a friend she could show all the ogle or compliments she want on my job or with my friends and talk about the great size of my cock or things like that for a time, to see if it was as bad as they said.

    She didn't have good imagination. She got tired the second day.

    I remember the joke about the shortests book of history: compliments from female to male.

    And usually I hear as answer... there is nothing to compliment.

    It shows a great lack of social habilities yet.

    I respect and not to ogle, but I do it for respect not because I think it's a bad thing... If a girl feels sexually excited watching me, is free to express her feelings, and a homosexual guy can make it too. No problem... It's good to be liked.

    About the quizz, I think most of guys said no problem and most of girls said any have the right.

    I think it's one of those things in which we must talk about it, ND arrive to an agreement, instead of fighting to see who have the right thinking.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think it's a matter of respect. Both men and women should learn to control themselves. It's ok to look once appreciatively but then look away. Especially if you are making the other person uncomfortable. Both sexes cross the line here I'm sure. Being female I've experienced unwanted attention from straight men more. I developed early and looked 20 when I was 13. Going out was very frightening at times because men stared at my breasts and I didn't have maturity to handle it well. Some women are better than others. But no one I've met appreciates being ogled. There's a difference between appreciation of someone's looks and making them feel like an object. Society as a whole needs to improve at not treating people as objects. How much we do or don't wear ideally shouldn't matter. Adults should know where the line is and unfortunately a good number either don't know or don't care were it is.

  • Accidentally hit option B. Actual opinion: it kinda gross to ogle anyone. Acknowledge someone’s attractiveness with your eyes? Sure. But ogling is different and kind of uncomfortable for the ogled. Whether you’re gay or straight just look at someone, think “that person is attractive” and if they happen to catch your attention and smile back then bravo, if not just move on. Don’t stare creepily. It’s weird.

  • Woops I voted wrong. I meant to choose "Neither straight nor gay men should be expected not to ogle topless men and women. It's okay for both of them to ogle" but accidentally chose "Both gay and straight men should be expected not to ogle topless people".

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What Girls & Guys Said

14 80

  • Some of the problems people have. Good grief. I think that this qualifies as a "First World" problem.

    Here's the thing. With good manners, you try not to be obvious when you "ogle" someone. That is unless the context justifies it in some way. The beach, for example, where it is kind of a given.

    That said, speaking as a guy, I find it flattering from either sex. It was a little unnerving the first time a gay guy called me "hot," but you take compliments where you find them and certainly he meant it as a compliment.

    Best to give people the benefit of the doubt and appreciate them for their intentions. It's a good rule to follow and there are worse things then being thought - directly expressed or not - that you are sexy.

  • There are so many hypocritical things the straight men do, this wouldn't even begin to describe them. But, yes, you're right, some consistency would be in order here. However, we both know it won't happen in the foreseeable future.

    And, for the record, I am a gay man and would drool over for a guy like the one in your picture. I often don't hide my admiration when a guy goes topless, and have been able to get away with it so far without adverse reactions. I thought that could be because I'm too small and too feminine-looking that hard guys don't even bother getting annoyed by me.

  • I'm a little uncertain about the right to ogle regardless of sexual orientation.
    But if straight guys can ogle girls, then gay guys should be allowed to ogle back.

    If I decided to go topless I would expect to be ogled regardless of gender. I don't want that attention so I just don't do that.

  • If some gay guys want to check me out, I don't give a crap. That's as far as they'll ever get, so might as well enjoy the show while they can.

  • That’s a double standard and I call bullshit. My firm opinion on this is that if you put it on display then people are free to look. So long as they do nothing else they’re doing nothing wrong. Yes staring is rude, creepy even. But staring isn’t illegal. As a man or a woman walking around topless is a free invitation to everyone in eyesight to ogle as much as they please. Is it rude yes, is it creepy yes, but it’s not illegal and it is preventable. All one has to do is wear a top, that goes for men as well as women.

  • A study out of Germany found that men that tried not to ogle attractive women had elevated blood pressure and stress levels.

    That's not to say that looking at attractive women lowers blood pressure and stress. It more points to the act of trying not to stare is stressful.

    I would assume that the same thing holds true for gay guys who are inclined to stare at a hot guy.

    By the way, the guy linked above, is amazing. I would totally stare if I saw him out in public like that and I would check out his ass as he walked away. And if he had an equally hot girlfriend, well I'd stare at her too.

  • No they don't but I doubt they get ogled. Just look at any topless beach in Europe, guys are not ogling girls. Nobody stares at your breasts or makes comments. However guys who post dickpicks have no right to complain when gays ogle them

  • This is not an apples to apples comparison. The fact, and reality, of our world is that women's breasts are sexual in nature. Men do not have them. So it can't be a true comparison. If gays want to ogle a guy with no shirt that's fine. But don't be surprised if the guy gives you a very negative reaction.

    • Nipples are sexual in nature too, and men have them. If they're gonna have a "very negative reaction" to being stared at when they walk down a public street shirtless, they should know to just put a shirt on. And if they're going to have a negative reaction to being ogled, they have no right to ogle others

    • If women's chests are sexual but men's chests aren't sexual, why would a man have a "very negative reaction" to his chest being stared at by a gay man? I mean, it's not sexual.

    • Most people do not find men's nipples attractive in the same way as a woman's. A straight man might have a very negative reaction because he is disgusted by homosexuality, especially if he is the subject of unwanted homosexuality attention. You can pretend this is not the way the world is, but you're lying to yourself.

    • Show All

  • Everyone has a right to ogle. It doesn't hurt anybody. It's normal. I can't help noticing attractive women.

  • No. If a man sexualizes himself he has to take responsibility for that when others sexualize him as well. Why would it be any different for men then it would be for women? Its still inappropriate if the man attempted to get physical, it would be inappropriate if when informed that he was uninterested he persisted (just like it is for men with women and women with men) but otherwise that is a choice he knowingly made and he has to accept that fact just as women have to accept the fact that when they dress in a sexualized manner they are going to get sexual attention.

  • No one should be expected not to ogle. No one ought to ogle but that doesn't change the fact that we shouldn't be suprirised and offended when we are ogled. Women often dress in an openly provocative way because they like the way it looks. It shouldn't surprise them when men ALSO like the way they look and are drawn in by their appearance. If you dress in a provocative manner you somewhat lose the right to be offended when it successfully provokes. That doesn't mean other people are right to ogle, it just means you don't get to be the one who says they're wrong for it.

    I think the same goes for guys. If gay guy ogles a shirtless dude because he's shirtless it might not be appreciated or a "good thing," but a guy who's going shirtless in the first place doesn't really get a say in who he attracts.

  • Gay guys stare at straight men in gym locker rooms & bathrooms. Never heard of a guy filing a sexual harassment complaint or going to the news over it. You see, masculine men are used to taking action instead of whining. So the guy just gets dressed faster, and/or laughs it off. If he’s really creeped out he learns not yo take s shower at the gym.

    • Now to directions address your question: he has the right to complain but he will be considered a whiny bish if all that happened was a look.

  • if a woman is not modestly dressed and she gets raped then that is what she gets for not wearing modest clothes ! if a man wears tight clothes , shorts almost exposing his manhood or goes shirtless then he gets what he gets , what he gets from men glaring at him to possibly getting involved in gay sex stuff whether he is gay or not

    • At least you're consistent, but that's screwed up. Someone doesn't deserve to be raped just because they didn't dress properly

    • @MissDawn7961 I agreed with you up until you said they should get raped for wearing little clothing... men should be able to control themselves enough to not give into sexual temptations..

  • I don't think guys would really care or notice if other men are ogling them unless they made it extremely obvious and coming on to them. Otherwise I think they just ignore it or don't care.

  • It's Biology, people! Yeah, don't be an ass about it, and be a pervert, but everyone looks, and likes seeing an attractive person!
    I don't think I am at all 'hot' but I lived near San Francisco for a few years, going to college. I got hit on by some gay guys, a few times, and I am not, but I took it as a compliment!! Like I said, I don't think I am that 'hot' but here is this person liking me!
    Not saying it is in anyway the same for women, just saying that sometimes, a little look, without any perverted interaction, does it really matter if someone just looks, maybe lingers, liking you a lot, then moves on?

  • Mild ogling is ok for anyone. They’re asking for attention by flaunting their perky moobs 😂

  • The times I have been around lots of gay guys they didn't pay the straight guys any attention. They can tell if you are straight and move on accordingly.

  • I don't think women should go topless because reasons. I'm also happy to be ogled by anyone, gay or straight

  • sure. If anyone has a right to complain about being ogled, then everyone does. Just because the vast majority of straight men ogle women doesn't mean every straight man ogles women, and it would thus be unfair to tell a straight guy who doesn't ogle women to stop complaining when gay men ogle him.

    But even if they do ogle women, being a hypocrite doesn't automatically make them wrong. If I'm on fire and you're on fire and I tell you that you're on fire, it would be foolish of you to waste your time trying to angrily point out that I'm a hypocrite for telling you that you're on fire - your time would be better spent putting the fire out.

  • They can ogle me, as long as they know I will kick the crap out of them if they touch me.

  • Show More (74)

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