Is it ok to fantasize about other people when you have a significant other?

[beach_chick]

I find myself fantasizing about other guys a lot and I have a boyfriend. Is this normal? I always feel guilty about it.

[abc3643]

It actually is normal.

It is extremely rare that this is not the case. For instance, 29 years ago, I was in love - real deep hopeless true I-want-to-marry-you-now love - with a beautiful blonde girl. She was the only one I thought of in that way. Sure, I was a young male in my late 20s and got "tugged" to think about some other women I knew, but she was all I needed in every way.

Years later, I think about all sorts of women even though I am married and my wife is up there in terms of hotness - especially 20 years ago when I first met her.

Often, women get uptight that their men may be thinking about other women. Well, I tell them to take to heart "The Old Italian Housewive's Proverb": It doesn't matter where your husband gets his appetite as long as he eats at home.

That saying should apply to men about their women too...

For instance, I strongly suspect my wife is having 'happy private time" with her vibrator thinking of black pirates or something... (I don't understand why she married me because I was a short blonde guy with long hair and earring, both of which she loved, but I know she is really into the brothers.)

That said, when in the act of intercourse, I only think about the woman I am with at that moment. It is dishonorable and selfish to do otherwise even if she doesn't know what's in my mind. My body and my life may be falling apart, but at least I still have some honor and reputation left; I couldn't look myself in the mirror and "cheat" while actually fucking. (Or "cheat" otherwise.)

Anyway, bottom line, don't be hard on yourself.

[Shamalien]

It means he likely thinks he has something he doesn't. You should make it clear to him where things are so you can both make the right decision about whether or not you are just wasting eachother's time.

[Red_Arrow]

Lots of people do that. Nothing to feel guilty about. Just enjoy yourself.

[Browser101]

Of course, it is fine

[COMMODOREII]

Fantasizing is your subconscious providing options for you to consider and whether you decide to stay or not.

[sheepdip]

Its ok

[sweet87]

It's perfectly normal, whether you act on it is up to you.

[bananathunder]

sure as long as you don't act out on it

[Jonny-92]

I think it would be weird if you didn't. Everyone fantasizes about other people at one point or another 🤷‍♂️

[beach_chick]

But I genuinely might be temped to do something with another person.

[Jonny-92]

That's completely your choice to make. I myself have acted on it in the past so I pass no judgement 😁

[abc--123]

Its normal

[Anonymous]

Yea it is completely normal.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people do exactly this. What's to feel guilty about?