How do you feel more comfortable in your sexuality?

Question

I know I'm interested in guys-They're the only sex I can see myself being romantic with, having sex with and building a family with but I have no experience around guys!!! It makes me feel very insecure because I'm 21 years old and I know I'm straight but no guy seems to want me. I really really want a boyfriend but I'm scared of getting pregnant, losing my virginity and having them leave me after and the penises in porn look really HUGE and scary. But I guess I have to get over that fear because I still am attracted to men emotionally, romantically and sexually.

Any tips on how to get a boyfriend and get yourself popular with the opposite sex without having to sleep around and dress half naked?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

First, set aside the fear of accidental pregnancy. There are many birth control options available to women. Get hooked up with one. That way, if a guy is interested in you and you wind up having sex, you won't have to worry.

Know that finding a life partner in your first boyfriend is a long shot. A person typically has several romances before finding someone with whom they are compatible. So I don't recommend the idea of saving yourself for marriage.

Go out, meet guys. Engage in heavy kissing and romance. But date him for a couple months to learn more about him and to see if he likes you as a person before engaging in sex. At that point, enjoy the intimacy of sex with a man. Get used to a penis. Be bold, try things, have fun. There is still a chance that the relationship won't last forever, but at least you will have experience.

And if the first relationship doesn't turn out to be "the one", rinse and repeat. Romance and heartbreak are all part of life. You will eventually find that guy you can trust who will treat you right and cherish you forever.

On the question of how to find guys, I don't have any advice. That's a tough question. You certainly don't have to make yourself look loose or slutty. But you do need to look attractive. It also helps if you learn to carry yourself confidently with erect posture and that loose hipped female strut. Put off the vibe that you know how hot you are and that any guy who had you would be lucky. There are lots and lots of guys out there who are looking for girls who look feminine, have good values and high standards.

2os4ngeles · Accepted Answer

Penises in porn are not representative of the general population.

Regarding pregnancy, take precautions. As someone who has just contracted herpes, also do it to avoid STDs. You do not want to know how much it sucks to realise you have gotten herpes. It sucks a lot. Use protection. Get tested, make your partner get tested, etc.

Regarding dating, find women whose dating life you want. Hang out with them. You should learn stuff by osmosis.

You don't have to dress half-naked to get guys. You don't have to sleep around. You do have to interact with guys.

As for more specific advice, being healthy is attractive. That means get your sleep, exercise, eat healthy food, drink enough water, etc. Dressing well is attractive, and that means clothes you look good in, that complement you, that fit your body. It does not mean you need the latest handbag from whatever brand is fashionable at the moment.

Also, dare to be yourself. You want guys to fall in love with you, not with whatever front you are trying to maintain.

agent_orange · Accepted Answer

Foremost, I guess you need to establish more confidence upon yourself before anything else. I can feel all your insecurities from here. You are already aware of your sexuality and that's good. You know what you wanted.
Meeting a guy, or having intimate relationship with them won't get you pregnant if don't want it. You won't even lose your virginity if you chose to wait for the right time. And honey, not all penises are that big! Most likely those that you saw on sex videos are enhanced. But in reality, most men have average sizes and only a few are "gifted". Besides, women's vajayjay are naturally expandable enough to accommodate men's jock's no matter the size. So rest your worries.
It'll be a long discussion if we try to deliberate all the details about attracting men or getting a boyfriend. For now I suggest you take my initial advice. Build that self-confidence first before you go out on the dating arena. Men likes women that are confident aside from physical attractiveness that I'm sure you have. But (I'm sorry to say this) you being desperate right now isn't attractive at all. So quit it. Instead focus on improving yourself, and being happy about yourself. Because if you don't, you'll end up questioning yourself. And once you think you've gained enough, thats the right time to go out and explore your sexuality or gain potential relationship with the opposite sex.

pansy49 · Accepted Answer

Just wait and see who winds up in your life! It's totally okay to not be experienced at 21. There's too much pressure to have relationships in your teenage years. Porn is also highly dramatized and not a good place to learn sex from. Sex is many different things and your sexual life can look however you want it to. You can do only oral, hand stuff, or penetrative. It's not a rule that you have to do any certain thing, just do what feels good and comfortable! If you do have penetrative sex, make sure to use a condom. If you truly don't want to get pregnant there's always guys that have had vasectomies too. There's no one size fit all relationship! Find what works for you and what you want. Good luck in the future

AngelAimée · Accepted Answer

I'm literally in the exact same position as you. I've tried all these online dating sites but I either get really gross old men or ones that aren't up for a relationship. I feel like if you force finding it, the more it won't happen. As frustrating as it is, the people you get on most with are the unexpected, they just come along in your life. Until you find someone you don't need to worry about the rest. Although, I understand about virginity, it's a scary thing. I feel like even if they wore 10 condons I'd still be paranoid about getting pregnant lol. But, certainly don't go dressing half naked, far too chilly for that.

btbc92 · Answer

Get married then have sex. You shouldn't be worried about something that is within your right. Your not insecure. You are being cautious and that is a good thing. There is a 98% chance you will not keep the person you lose your virginity to, so why put yourself I that predicament? Make male friends, get to know them and make sure you comparable before dating the. That's the best way to avoid such men. Stop watching porn!!!

Gaffercake · Answer

Number one tip on finding a partner: Get a hobby. What do you enjoy doing? Find a place or a group that does that activity. Like knitting? Probably a group that does that, find a Facebook group for it. Do more social things and try to get to know your friends friends. Try new clubs to see if you enjoy them and meet new people. Meeting new people, means meeting more potential partners, and some amazing new friends along the way.

kittycat119 · Answer

You're 21 and you're thinking like a teen gurl does b4 her first date

ohshee · Answer

First of all dont jump in to anything you can get sny guy to fuck you,,, you dont want that because thats the guy who is only thinking about himself damn i have to go. Send me a message i will answer it when i get back

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I don't need to make an effort to feel comfy with my sexuality. I just do.

nerms123 · Answer

Real life guys are usually not scary. They mainly just play video games and have five inch penises so don’t worry.

spartan55 · Answer

You're 21? That's really odd, because your profile indicates you are 25-29... to quote the pink users: "I'm just so confused right now"

WalterRadio · Answer

Practice.

Don't worry about being a virgin, just get it over with. You will soon discover that your hang up was silly.

And the way not to get pregnant is to use birth control. You can start that now.

If you think no guy wants you, then you are either giving off the "Don't talk to me, so go away" vibe, you are not looking in the right place (or not looking at all), or your standards are too high. I can't say which without a photo, but you can work on figuring it out.

Jenny4455 · Answer

Age doesn't really matter, things will happen when they happen. Just live your life and you will meet people. Losing your virginity really isn't something to be scared of. It's just another experience. Get decent birth control and use a condom and your safe. The vagina is designed to accommodate a penis and porn is not particularly realistic in its representation of male endowment.

SentientBrick · Answer

You might want to talk to a psychologist. Nothing to be ashamed about in that. I think the root of your issue might be your insecuritys and ill formed concept of men and dating. A psychologist would help you working on your insecurities and shine some light on some of the realitys of dating and male / female relations.

humanearth · Answer

Just start Talking to them

AynonOMouse · Answer

Be a gamer and get to know other gamers and you'll likely find someone that way.

richardoshea · Answer

Any guy will be interested but find one who actually sees a future other than a quick shag and trust me most guys don't come close to monsters it's fake even the cumshots are usually fake don't be scared tell a guy you like him, chat tell them you want more than a one night fling and see how you get on no pressure then