23 and questions about my sexuality?

Question

This is personal and very confusing and I need some kind of talk or advise to help me figure things out. I apologize the the language I'm just trying to speak honestly. This isn't made up I've just bottled this without talking about it too long so here I am.

Since I was a kid (10 or 9 at the youngest), I remember wondering all the time what it was like to be a girl. And I didn't even hit puberty. Not sure I even knew what sex was. This kept sticking with me and the older I got the more I wondered. I knew what sex was for years now and I've been masturbating like a regular teen. But sometimes I would think, "I wonder what its like to put my fingers inside me and hold my breasts and keep cumming and cumming. Or having sex as a woman and having a big dick sliding in and out of me." What the pleasure would be like turned me on so much and still does. Probably even more now honestly.
In the last 2 years probably, its weird but I really want to try sucking a dick. For some reason it seems so appetizing to me to suck and suck and let it squirt into my mouth. I feel like id be really good at it too.
I know find women attractive in fact I only find them attractive. When I try to look at a guy and think, "what if I sucked his dick?" It doesn't turn me on. I mean I even had a good gay friend a while back I know I could have went down on just to experience it but I just find him so unnatractive as a guy.
Anyway, I get someone can be bi or gay, lesbian or trans etc. But I just dont understand what I'm going through I have this craving and these thoughts. Honest, I love my penis a lot and love being a guy. My style as a man, my features, how I talk, everything.
Everything being said one last part I feel like I should have put in there. My whole life I've felt I was more like a woman. I have compassion, strong emotions etc. (Yes, I know those don't define only women but in my life more girls have had those not many men) and I always felt I was connecting with girls more than guys.

UglyestGuyEver · Accepted Answer

u say the idea alone of sucking a dick doesn't turn u on... yet u get constant thoughts of sucking 1 nd a guy inside u... i think these thoughts are jus like ur mind hating on u and making u think things u dont wanna think about... like u know its so wrong and shameful to be gay,,, and ur scared that u may actually be gay so much... that u can't help but think those things as a way ur mind is sorta rebelling against u saying "ha... u will be gay"

by the sound of it to me... ur not attracted to guys and dont find them hot, ur straight,
u jus have mallicious, evil thoughts thats trying to convice u you are gay for some reason... its like ur mind is trying to tell u its acceptable now in 2019 and more people need to be gay to make it more acceptable and politically correct,

dont feed into these thoughts and let them pester... certainly dont let them make choices for u...
try to kill these thoughts off and dont become gay at all... stay straight... its not ok to be gay... u dont wanna be gay at all believe me... i know everyone says there's nothing wrong with it now and its politically correct.. but trust me its fucked up, disgusting, and shameful, dont become gay

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

Do you have a dad? This is common for men raised by women.
You likely need a shrink. Consider getting a referal from your family doctor so you can discuss your thoughts and feelings - they can help you sort through what is real and what is just a feeling.

We have an epidemic of boys wanting to be girls due to the breakdown of our culture. For girls are the ones that are preferred, everything is catered to them. Even in school boys are expected to be like little girls - and when they're not they drug them.

We have a serious lack of masculinity in our children's upbringing - for a lot of reasons. Some are even calling it 'toxic'. A bold-faced lie.

naughty_cat · Accepted Answer

we all in some points we would like to try some things just for Curiosity but it's not our real choice or thoughts so I think the best way to know what u really like more is to try it,,, and see how u feel about it

Seyiru · Answer

Your question is kind of all over the place it's hard to understand what you're really asking but here is a little advice from someone who went through some s*** so are you go honestly if you feel like you're attracted two women then you're attracted to women if you feel like you would get hard from sucking a dick then suck a dick see if you like it the world is big the universe is bigger

Avicenna · Answer

I'd suggest finding a therapist experienced in this area

bangyourhead · Answer

Sounds like you have a autogynephelia.

JackofSpades · Answer

You sound like a normal straight male. Most if not all of us have thoughts like that.

HeyMikie · Answer

You sound pretty normal to me. Many of us are curious about such things. Just look at the questions here on GAG. When I was 18 an older married man wanted to suck my dick. He was happily married and was just curious. I turned him down. But when I got much older I started to understand his curiosity. I too wonder what it would be like to suck on a dick and feel hot cum squirting in my mouth. I would never do it because I love women only but the curiosity is still there. If I were you I wouldn't worry about it.